Stick your fundraiser - the hardest test will be leaving my children for so long

[LifeIsAMeatball]

I’m yet again avoiding a community fundraiser for a man’s ego. He’s cycling Africa with some friends. It’ll be tough but the hardest bit “will be not seeing his kids for three or four months.”

Give me strength. I’ve already had to endure years of the group of school dads who spent every summer on the lads “fundraising trips” - Lands End to John O’Groats, London to Paris, Africa (yeah, it’s been done already), cross Europe, some of Europe that’s a bit vague but conveniently ends in Ibiza during party season.

I’m assertive enough to say no but these things get the whole community behind them. You can’t go to the pub, shop, hairdressers or even the bloody dog groomers without someone rattling a tin for the local hero.

Meanwhile, there’s yet another woman at home about to solo parent with no plaudits - and would she even dare to argue her lot given the whole community thinks he is amazing?

This particular fine specimen enjoys free drinks at the pub to celebrate him before he leaves in 3 weeks. His wife is at home with a four week old, a 3 year old with additional needs and a six year old.

3-4 months!!
doesn’t he have a job??

I’d not be impressed if my partner left me to do that for that amount of time!!

I would not be calling my DH a hero for conning people into paying for his hobbies.

I get annoyed when people say they’re doing a charity skydive. No! You’re going skydiving and want it funded. If it’s genuinely for charity, just donate the money.

Fundraising my arse.
He's off on a hobby holiday.

If I was his wife I'd slash his tyres, the virtue signalling prick.

Maybe the children's mum should also set up a fundraiser for being left behind while he goes on what is essentially a type of hobby holiday.

His job has given him social value leave!

You need to tell him, charity begins at home.

Yanbu.

I see this sort of shit all the time. .men with families pissing around doing some mountain climb/marathon/bike ride and expecting to be treated like a hero. Thank god my own DH doesn't do shit like this...but when I hear of it, I always think of the poor wife who is slogging her guts out keeping the show on the road with the kids and house.

Absolutely this. I’ve seen it before when people have set up fundraisers to actually physically go and attend to some natural disaster in a far flung land. Just donate the monies to the locals. No one needs you there Paul.

Social Value Leave!!! That’s a new one on me!!
regardless tho if that was my partner I’d be livid!

Maybe start a community support group (with her permission ) for all the women who support her while he does this. Really go to town on it. Press. Community meals, walks to school. Etc etc.

I think the thing that is really annoying me is the collective “Captain Tom syndrome”.

It feeds the beast.

With 3 kids 6 and under, it’s simply selfish behaviour. Why you had the 3rd with him is anyone’s guess.

Everyone probably told her she’d found a real life hero in him and she believed it.

I met a guy OLD and before meeting up we had a call - he told me about all the iron man comps he had been on while his children were young. as a single parent, you can imagine my thoughts. Anyway, I decided not to meet him, selfish bastard. Plus he told me he drove an Aldi ...

Yep..exactly this. The more complicated a home life the more time consuming the hobby. Cricket and golf anyone. And as for the fundraisers...Just watched a friends DH set off on a southwest coastal path leaving his family behind for an undefined period. Never seen a mum do that!!

Absolutely negligent to leave a newborn baby especially when there are two more kids needing their mums care too

He drives an Aldi? An Aldi?

It must be that ba$tard that stole our local one and replaced with a chavvy Beemer. 🤷‍♀️

Why are you so invested in what other people do ?
Are you the wife in this scenario?

"His wife is at home with a four week old, a 3 year old with additional needs and a six year old."

Just a 3 and 6 would be bad enouogh, add in the 4 week old and we really are in full on selfish prick mode....what a chuffin' hero 🙄

Who could bear to leave a newborn for that long anyway? It’s just odd.

Odd response. I thought my posts were clear in that it was the swell of unwavering community support/ pressure to give that was irking me.

I am thankfully not the woman in this scenario. Are you the man?

Would it be better if people did sponsored litter picking or bulb planting?

So he's going to cycle around Africa (bloody long way that) to what purpose? If he's got 'social value leave' what exactly is this social value and who will benefit from it?

I'm Team Sceptical.

No I'm not the man. I just wonder why you are so outraged about something that is bugger all to do with you or anyone else.
Maybe the wife will have help from family, maybe she's looking forward to a break from her DP for a few weeks.
Either way its nobody else's business

His poor soon to be ex wife.