AIBU to think you shouldn't have to specify your food order as "on its own" if you don't want a side and they cost extra?

[SidesAside]

A wet and cold Bank Holiday Sunday where I am. DH and I decided to go with our original plan of visiting a garden centre, but to pad the day out a bit as we wouldn't be looking around outside, I suggested stopping off on the way for lunch at a cheap and cheerful chain pub that has nice lakeside views.

For context, come rain or shine, workday or weekday, we always have a light lunch, e.g. sandwich and then a substantial dinner in the evening.

We arrived, found a table and I looked at the menu. I found a list of sandwiches and chose one. It's an order at the bar and pay place, so I kept the table and DH went up with the order.

He came back and said, "You've got spicy potato wedges as a side."

I said, "The menu didn't mention it came with a side, I didn't want one."

He said, "It didn't cost any extra."

I looked again at the menu and saw, under the list of sandwiches, a footnote saying "Add a side for £1.50' with a list of sides, potato wedges, onion rings and so on. I checked the receipt and we had indeed paid £1.50 for unwanted wedges. Now, I am not fussed about £1.50 but I pointed out we'd now paid for something that would go to waste.

DH became defensive and said "But you didn't ask for a prawn caibatta "on its own"".

I said, "Surely I shouldn't have to as the sides are an extra, you know I never normally order sides, even if we're having a main meal." [for context we have been married over 20 years].
DH repeated "You should have asked for it "on its own"."

I didn't want to spoil the day with a petty argument so I said, "In short, you've been a victim of upselling - just please, engrave in your mind for the future that unless I specifically say I want a side, whether it's included or not, I don't want one."

I then changed the subject, we carried on with our day and had a pleasant enough time considering the weather.

But who is being unreasonable here -

• Me, for not asking for the sandwich 'on its own'
• DH for saying I should have asked for it 'on its own'
• The pub for what sounds like sneaky upselling.

Opinions welcome!

Exactly, and the op now knows she needs to specify she only wants the sandwich there’s no need for it to ever happen again. They can laugh about it in years to come. Remember that time you paid 1.50 for spicy wedges I didn’t want?!

Ikr? How trivial.

I've already explained that it's more or less random who orders, I don't ask him to order every time.

Often one of us will want to pop into the loo so if that happens, that person will order at the bar but otherwise it probably comes down to who has the seat that's less hemmed in by other tables etc.

You've been married 20 years and he has no idea about this?? He sounds like a knob, tbh, so I'm not surprised you got annoyed 😂

I said relatively recent, which 1997 is, considering how long pubs and cafes in roughly their present form have existed in the UK.

My lord what a palaver over nothing

Oh you meant "relative" to like, the introduction of potatoes to Europe?

Do you have nothing more interesting going on in your life to create such a drama over a portion of potato wedges?

One reason I don’t like garden centre cafes- heard way too many on the odd occasion I’ve been of these life sapping conversations

I wouldn't say that pubs and cafes existed 'in roughly their present form' in the 16th century, no.

But in future.. you just order so he can never get it wrong and you never ever have to be so horrid to him.

I hope the way you spoke isn't a frequent thing and you're just having a rough day.

😃He's not really a knob, he's one of those people who's very clever but lacks common sense.

BMI Klaxon!!!

You sound like my mother. My poor dad if he didn’t order it & got one for himself I can imagine her saying oh but it’s such a steal at only £1.50, then we can have a light dinner. I imagine you always expect him to be a mind reader. And you’ve utterly suck the joy out of everything. Congratulations he’ll never do this again.

Not wanting the wedges had nothing to do with calories. I'm not in the routine of having a big lunch and didn't want to spend the rest of the day mainlining Rennies by provoking my hernia with them. If I'm going to give myself heartburn, I'd rather save it for roast potatoes or proper chunky chips cooked in beef dripping, not indifferent wedges in a chain pub.

Thought you couldn't eat fried potatoes?

Depends who ordered them 😂

No, I am not perverse for the sake of it in this way. I never have a side with my lunch, I don't chop and change.

I also read the menu carefully before I order, in the unlikely event there ever was a 'bargain' upgrade that I couldn't resist I would know about it before I ordered.

And finally, if something has been missed from the order, it's easier to go back and add it than it is to go up and get a refund for something ordered in error in a busy pub at Sunday lunchtime.

Everyone WBU

The pub for upselling
Your DH for making it somehow your fault that the pub had added something your hadn't ordered
You for the way you spoke to you DH and for being so rigid about meals

Missing the point but £1.50 for wedges sounds like a bargain! I picked up a large chips from our local chippie on Friday for the first time in several years and it was nearly a fiver!

I can't, as I explained. If I eat them it's at the cost of really bad heartburn for hours afterwards. I will occasionally do it anyway and accept the discomfort - a life with no roast potatoes, chips etc. ever is pretty bleak - but when I say 'occasionally' I mean once or twice a year, and I will make sure it's for something really worthwhile and a planned thing when it doesn't matter if I have a bad night's sleep.

I wouldn't endure all that for the sake of crappy £1.50 wedges.

In response to comments about BMI etc. I was pointing out that is this isn't an 'under-eating' thread, I have an unremarkable BMI more or less in the middle of the healthy range.

Oh dear and bless you OP but this puts me in mind of the Catherine Tate sketches about the shocked Yorkshire couple.

"The dirty, evil, upselling spicy potato wedge pushing bastards!"

(Run time 1min 30secs approx)

I pray I never turn into this type of woman lol

You’re being unreasonable from causing a fuss, and then being doubly unreasonable to still be thinking about this hours later, and then triply unreasonable to post about it on mumsnet

Christ what a miserable situation all round.