Hi mumsnet, I have a dilemma, which I think calls for me to end a long standing friendship. Looking more to rant than anything else, as it's a miserable story.
Friend is someone I know through work, but we work for different companies. We had planned and paid for a day trip. I made all the arrangements. Friend was going to drive and I pre paid for parking in the city and tickets for a show. 2 hours drive away. We were due to leave this AM. Friend gets in touch at 5pm yesterday asking me to meet her at her partners at 4am.
I spoke to them at 5.30pm and refused, as this was not our agreement, and I was not prepared to drive to a new address in the middle of the night and leave my car there. Also I said they had only sent me a postcode which was dismissed (so effectively driving to a postcode with no house number) she said to look out for her car! Bear in mind again this would have been the middle of the night.
Friend reminded me they were having tests for cancer ( one of the reasons for the trip) and I was not being understanding. Friend also said if I did not want to leave my car I could meet her in the city, again I did not see why I should do this as I'd paid for her car parking but then to take my own (for which I'd also have to sort parking) I said I was still wanting to go, was ready, and looking forward but would not be driving to the partial address given or the city. Multiple messages between us ending with friend then saying it was getting too stressful and to 'just leave it'
Spoken to my sister, who is baffled how someone can drive 2 hours to another city but not 20 minutes to pick me up. Also is stumped why I would only be sent a postcode for the partner (who I have only met once)
Further context- I had sent the parking confirmation yesterday morning and friend responded with a thumbs up emoji. No other comments or messages until 5pm.
If I had been asked at that point in the morning to drive to her home I would have or taken a train into the city, I would 100% have been flexible. However so late on the day before left me no option for public transport, paying more for my own car parking or being bullied to do what friend was asking.
My view is they have gone to see their partner who had advised her to not bother picking me up, and instruct me to come to his address.
I'm feeling really disappointed, more that friend has come across in the call and message as I am being unreasonable when all I wanted/expected was to stick to the original agreement, or at least to have had reasonable notice of a change.
Background info- I have been told at a recent conference by someone else in our field that she left her last company because of complaints of bullying towards junior staff last year. This fits for me in that I know her current job has meant a pay drop for her. I'm putting this in to give a sense of others view of her. Again never affected me but I have seen that side of her this weekend.
Curious what others would do in this situation based purely on what's happened, and written here.
Thankyou for reading.