To have wanted it to be a child free evening?

[Flowers876]

Ive planned an evening cinema trip with the work girls. In the group chat one of them asked if she could bring her daughter (7 year old) I didnt know how to say I would rather she didn't but I was surprised she even asked tbh. Now it turns out another girl is bringing her 9 year old. I just wanted a grown up girls evening. I know I had the opportunity to say no but how would I have phrased it without sounding rude and offending her? How would you have said it? I'm not looking forward to it as much now as I dont know either child. I know I can be a people pleaser.

If it’s just the cinema only and no meet up before/after for food or a drink then I wouldn’t be too bothered. It’s likely it’s something the dc has shown interest in seeing and they are killing 2 birds with one stone rather than having to attend twice. Just give it a miss if you don’t fancy it though

If you agree with the sentiment, what's the issue with the term? Surely that's just arguing semantics?

Is it not super weird to bring children to a work night out??

God everyday on here there are new terms that offend some people - so far this weekend it’s “mufti” and “child free” 🙄 neither of which I was aware were at all controversial!

If it’s an event meant for adults why would you even ask to bring your kids? If it was a kid friendly event that would be on the invitation - someone would say, ‘why don’t we have a day out with the kids?’ If I’m going out with colleagues or friends why on earth would I want their kids there? Nobody does. If you can’t get childcare it’s fine to say, ‘I can’t get childcare. See you at the next one’.

(And most people on Mumsnet are mums - you don’t have a special insight here)

A 12A isn't suitable for a 7 year old, and probably not a 9 year old.
The ads before will also be appropriate for 12+

Yep. You can't get childcare? Don't go.
We've all been there.

Very annoying. Just say no!

“I thought it would be just us ladies” 🙄

”I was thinking it’d be a child-free evening”

Hence both those would have prompted further discussion to which you could have agreed to or politely declined.

If you don't get why the expression & term 'child free' is a horrible expression & concept then let's leave it there.

Sometimes,when I'm on this forum,I feel that I have been transported in a parallel universe where children have to be involved and included in everything.

How is it a "horrible expression & concept", genuinely? It's just a literal term and definition, with nothing else implied.

If you don't smoke, your home is smoke-free.
If you don't have pets, you're pet-free.

If you cannot go through life without getting upset that other people in this world actually dislike children and do not have any and never want to have any, you're going to be triggered and upset an awful lot. Some people DO view children as a burden. They're allowed to feel that way, and it doesn't make them terrible people.

Enough other people have children that those who are child-free can remain child-free without needing to feel pressured to repopulate themselves.

Is it not ok to say to a group let’s keep the evening child free meaning nobody bring their kids? What on earth is wrong with that?

OP can you not just put a message in the group chat saying that you've been asked by a couple of people if it's OK to bring the kids, which caught you on the hop a bit as you don't have kids of your own. However, now you've had time to think about it, you've realised it's unlikely that children will be allowed in to the sort of films that adults would want to see, and you had assumed that everyone would want to go for a drink afterwards, so on reflection, unless everyone wants to see a kids film, then maybe it has to be a 'child free' trip.

I so glad when my much loved parents died despite caring for them at the end I never went on to describe them as 'parent free'

I feel your pain.
What is wrong with these people who automatically assume other adults enjoy their kids company.
I've raised my kids. I work with kids.
But when I go out at night I don't want to see a kid, hear a kid, smell a kid.....

Just don’t go? They’re colleagues, not friends. I doubt they’ll notice or care.

at night? Shouldnt they be in bed? Whose taking kids to the cinema in the evening?
weird story

@roseswithoutthorns The term childfree came about via sensitivity towards people who wanted children but were unable to have them. Childfree means you never wanted them and are happy not to have them. Childless means someone who wanted them but doesn't have them. So these days, someone might describe themselves as childless if they want to hint that it wasn't their choice not to have children, without telling the listener their whole tragic story.

This drives me nuts. I have no idea why parents don’t want to have a few hours child free. It changes the dynamics of the whole day/night. I love my daughter, grandkids and friends children but I don’t want to spend every minute of the day with them. Unfortunately I think from now on check who’s invited but be prepared (as I have been) to be unpopular when you voice your opinion.

theres loads of scroates who would take their kids to an inappropriate films and then be shocked when you ask. Sign of the times im afraid

agreed
people to learn to that you cant always do what you want to do when you have children.
its called sacrifice!

It was and the kids were bored as anything!!!

Poor kids , as if they’d enjoy Devil Wears Prada.
Was there a reason given ?

Just seen DWP with fashion mad late teen dd and we both really enjoyed it but kids would be bored stiff! Don’t know of many under 14s who would be gripped by corporate intrigue and the effect of AI on the fashion industry. What were they thinking?