To have wanted it to be a child free evening?

[Flowers876]

Ive planned an evening cinema trip with the work girls. In the group chat one of them asked if she could bring her daughter (7 year old) I didnt know how to say I would rather she didn't but I was surprised she even asked tbh. Now it turns out another girl is bringing her 9 year old. I just wanted a grown up girls evening. I know I had the opportunity to say no but how would I have phrased it without sounding rude and offending her? How would you have said it? I'm not looking forward to it as much now as I dont know either child. I know I can be a people pleaser.

So many questions.
Do the HAVE to bring them or do they just want to bring them?
Can’t the other parent watch them?
What time does the film start/finish?
Is it a school night?
What film is it?
Can the children actually sit through a film without a. chatting, b. getting up for the loo, c. looking at some kind of electronic device, d. getting upset, scared, bored?

The whole situation is bollocksed now though. I was going to say that next time, you say, "shall we get together, just adults", but someone will get the miff because it will look like you are throwing shade on their kids.

I’m assuming the film has been chosen and it’s ‘let’s go and see (film title)’ and not ‘let’s go to the cinema’. I agree it completely alters the dynamic and will change what happens before and after as they won’t be allowed in a bar and everyone will have to keep their conversation child appropriate.
I think it is really odd that they are doing this and it does risk becoming a precedent. I think your opportunity to query it was when it was first raised and it’s too late now. How many adults are coming without a child in tow?
Next time be clear at the outset that you are planning an adult social (‘Just adults this time so we can go to xxx bar afterwards’) and if some want to bring children, they could group together and go another time.

Would you really? So many women use 'girls night' when they mean adults. In OP's case it's surely extra-clear as she doesn't have DC.

No they aren't! People are curious about what film an adult would arrange to go and see with adult friends which would also be suitable for a 7 year old. It's a side question. Have you come across those before?

Unless there are some films for adults with U certificates out at the moment, how can they bring them?

I agree with the OP expecting an adults evening out although I wish people would refrain from using the expression 'child free' Children are not an unnecessary burdon to be freed from.

of course you can.

You just say it "i thought it was a girl's night out" (urgh i hate that phrase) children change the dynamic, so I'll bow out this time.

That is it.

Your own children - no
your nieces/ nephews/ grandchildren etc - probably not
other people’s children you barely know/ don’t know- yes

Because accompanied children can watch PG and 12a

No way I’d be going. I hate this, why can’t people just say no their kids or arrange a babysitter/partner.

Thanks - I don't have children and did not know that!

I'd like to know what the film proposed is, however.

then stop it.
If you can't get childcare - you can't go. That is a fact of life with children.

A colleague pulled that stunt once, and whined at me when i said it wasn't appropriate "but you don't have to get childcare". Yes, stupid, i spent years arranging childcare and if i couldn't i missed the evening - you complained about me not joining in at the time, but also said "no children on a girls night"

I have (and adore) my own children and they would absolutely be a burden on an adults' night out

It’s likely devil wears prada which came out this weekend. I can’t imagine a seven year old enjoying it.

As stated above, the OP is asking HOW to phrase it.

I guess if they are thick/cheeky enough to announce they are bringing their child along, they wont get the hint. I am not British so wouldnt get the 'I'm not really sure if they'll enjoy it?' as a hint but wouldnt want to bring a child to a work colleague night out in the first place.

Why would a 7 year old want to see an adult’s film anyway? I’m assuming it’s The Devil Wears Prada 2 looking at current cinema listings and ratings. That’s not the sort of thing any 7 year old I know would be remotely interested in! I would just politely say “sorry, I thought this would be an adults only sort of event since it’s an adult film”.

As the organiser it was up to you to set the parameters.

When the colleague asked, it was fine to say “Not on this occasion as I’ve organised an adults night out”.

It would be rude of the others if they tried to change the plan to suit themselves unless you’d actually asked them for their input.

You do need to learn to be more assertive and less scared of the opinion’s of others. If the other person couldn’t get a babysitter, then she chooses to absent herself.

Weird duplicate post!

There are somethings a certain type of mum thinks her young daughter will be interested in and they are likely not. The DWP is a prime example of this.

We went to the Taylor Swift Eras tour sitting in front of us were a family mum dad boy about 10 girl about 8. Mum and dd all dressed up. Show started dd clearly was bored fidgeting then tried to lie down and go to sleep. Dad and son also looked bored stiff. After about 30 mins dad took both kids out. Felt sad for the mum left on her own she should have gone with her friends. Hugely expensive waste of money.

I'm assuming the film is The Devil Wears Prada 2. We went to a 5pm screening on Friday night and there were quite a few younger kids there. One of the trailers was for 'Verity' (also starring Anne Hathaway). It's an erotic psychological thriller which was very clear from the trailer! Kind of uncomfortable to see with a 7 year old sat with you.

Devil Wears Prada I expect

I'd cancel and go with other people.

As stated in my post I referred to my dislike of the TERM 'child free' I also agreed with the OP wishing an adults only night out as would I in many situations.