Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

That could be the first ever 'objectively horrible' dress.

We need to see the dress

Nooo 🤣🤣🤣 that's the prom dress from Never been kissed isn't it??

It is objectively hideous 🤣🤣. I think you've apologised, which is fair, give her space to cool down.

It reminds me of something Grayson Perry would wear. I’m also pretty sure my Nan had a china ornament of a women in a very similar dress.

Well read all the OP's posts then. It's been shown.

Now that is one hideous brand - Toast. I cannot believe people wear such horrible dresses. At least the friend's dress is fun and flirty and feminine. My exH would have thought I was trying to tell him something if I'd started wearing those workhouse sacks!

It’s bloody awful

My DDs and DH just looked through my car window when I was reading this thread and said 'What is that dress??' And 'Is that the Lady Gaga meat dress?' so I don't think your reaction was untypical!

5 year old me is deeply envious and would love to wear it with my Grandma's 'clacky' shoes!

The horses comment made me chuckle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think Kate Middleton could pull it off.

You know, it's growing on me!

OP, I know - tell her that you've looked at the dress a bit more and that it's growing on you!

I've been busted by DCs before as they can read my expressions like a book. Just say:

But Lovely, I don't have to like it, isn't that the point. It's your dress and your choice. It's about whether you like it, not anyone else.

You're right OP. It IS awful!!

Maybe just be a kinder friend and support her choices to wear what she wants?

You won’t like everything she wears and she won’t like everything you wear. Part of being a good friend sometimes involves telling a white lie to keep them feeling happy and confident about their own choices - which in my view was entirely the right thing to do here, because it was a fashion choice.

Your friend’s self-esteem might be quite bruised now. Was it worth contributing to that?

It definitely has toilet roll cover vibes. Look, I don’t think you have done anything wrong. She asked your opinion. You gave it. She must known it is quite an ‘edgy’ dress and would raise a few eyebrows which, I expect’ is why she bought it. She wants to be the centre of attention for what she wears and she’ll get. Nothing wrong with that but it is objectively something very very few people could pull off

Exactly!!

🤣🤣🤣

It says it's a silk/cotton mix, so it probably doesn't rustle too much. I think a tall, slim, dark person could probably pull it off, but many of us couldn't. Also, I'm glad I don't have to clean it or iron it.

I think your friend will get over it in time. But I suspect like me, you shouldn't take up a career as a poker player.

So why is she so desperate for OP to like it? If she likes it and has bought it then stop asking people what they think about it and getting upset if they don't like it.

No more apologising to her. You are allowed to dislike it and she needs to get over herself.

I agree with you and if someone I knew said they'd bought it asked me if I liked it my first response would be "is this a joke?"

I knew I had seen this dress before - it’s Crystal Barbie 1983 😬

Oh dear I guess your response compounded her underlying & growing unease that she had spend 2 grand on an absolute turkey of a dress. It looks like it’s made from plastic bags.

Mother of God

The OP's face reacted instinctively to the dress, as she explains clearly in her post.