Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I don't have mates on Mumsnet. That would be bizarre. I'm not remotely responsible for anything others have said to you. So not sure where you're getting that from, and believe me, I wouldn't waste ire on you.

But somehow, through the space of this lengthy thread, in which you're basking in others making fun of your friend's taste, you do seem to have forgot you were concerned with how do I fix this?

I don't care about your reaction. Either lie and say it''s lovely or be honest and say you hate it but you're glad she likes it. Why would anyone on her GAF? My point. It was always that if you do care about how your friend feels, the way to fix it, is not, and was never to post her dress on an internet forum. I hardly think that's controversial, but your first (deleted, and not because I reported you) post was referring to anyone who thought negatively of you as 'loons'.

By the way, you have a very distinctive writing style. Maybe you can get this one to 40 pages too?

@user233675892 You’re starting to look a bit obsessive.

Bet they own the dress

Because I responded to it coming up in my feed as replied to?

Oh, no! @MilkyLeonard thinks I'm starting to look a bit obsessive. My life is ruined. Whatever will I do?

Take heed?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You don’t have to care either way. I shared my opinion, just as you did. I don’t know why you’re acting like I expect you to agree with me.

@SummerFate how are things with your friend? Tumbleweed, or have you managed to kiss and make up?

There’s no such thing as ‘objectively hideous’. Fashion is entirely a matter of subjective taste and preference.

I actually don’t hate the dress at all, I could imagine Margot Robbie looking incredible in it on the Barbie press tour for example. I would never wear it myself but I’d love the whimsy and joie de vivre of someone else doing so.

Anyway, to the AIBU - you need to learn to control your face better, which is something most adults are capable of. It doesn’t hurt to train yourself into responding warmly to the things other people love when there is no personal cost to yourself. But don’t make a mountain out of a molehill - you’ve apologised and everyone should now be able to move on quite happily. If your friend has a sulk about something as minor as you not liking her dress she’s being a bit ridiculous.

Many years ago I lived between the Dolce & Gabbana head office and their outlet store - and was constantly asked for directions to there. I’m not in the slightest bit fashionable so goodness knows why they always picked on me!
My ex used to refer to them as ‘Vivace Gabinetto’ (happy toilet) and I would say that’s very apt right now.
Incidentally I went for a job there and the interview was going swimmingly right up to the point they questioned me about my childcare arrangements and whether I had any grandparents living nearby to help out, so as a brand they don’t impress me whatsoever.
The dress certainly….makes an impression!

I’m not sure I could’ve acted my way out of this. It’s 1980s meets The Nutcracker ballet with a hint of James and the Giant Peach. I asked ChatGPT to make it less fussy

There’s no such thing as ‘objectively hideous’.

I’d have agreed until I saw this thread 😝

you need to learn to control your face better, which is something most adults are capable of.

Normally, yes; but sometimes, if you get a massive enough shock...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=e6Y2uQn_wvc&pp=ygUIZ3V5IGdvbWE%3D

Yikes!

Your getting your kicks out of it. Pot meet kettle

What now?

U ok, @SummerFate?

Well this is grim. The dress is fine. Anyone who knows about fashion will know it’s a D&G number. Those who don’t know aren’t worth bothering about.

I hope this was irony, but just in case it wasn't.

😆😅🤣😂🤣😅😆

I think @Poppyfie1ds thought she was getting one over on the OP. But honestly, she just demonstrated that some people will pay a fortune for tat if it has the right name attached.

It reminds me of the first episode of Absolutely Fabulous, where Edina is wearing a very unflattering designer outfit. When Patsy incredulously asks “What ARE you wearing?!”, Edina replies “Lacroix”. Patsy says, “It’s fabulous”.

I think @Poppyfie1ds thought she was getting one over on the OP. But honestly, she just demonstrated that some people will pay a fortune for tat if it has the right name attached.

It reminds me of the first episode of Absolutely Fabulous, where Edina is wearing a very unflattering designer outfit. When Patsy incredulously asks “What ARE you wearing?!”, Edina replies “Lacroix”. Patsy says, “It’s fabulous”.

Not really trying to get one over on anyone? The point was that if you’re not interested in that sort of thing then your opinion isn’t really relevant.

If an individual admits they know nothing about cars then shares their dismissive opinion about a friend’s Maserati being a bit loud with no boot space, would you expect the friend to treat this opinion seriously? It’s true but laughable because being impractical is the point. Same with designer outfits. It’s meant to stand out. And just like with an interest cars/football/birdwatching etc, sometimes only others in ‘your tribe’ will get it. That’s okay but people who don’t ‘get it’ need to realise some things simply aren’t made for them.

For me it is the combination of the elements:

• the colour is quite a bright choice - alot of people would not choose this
• There are a LOT of ruffles
• Off the shoulder
• The materials is very shiny which I think in a black may not look as OTT.

I bet that's what the emperor said about his new clothes.