Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I agree with this. I don’t know how old you are, but I remember Vivienne Westward going on Terry Wogan’s chat show with her beautiful clothes and he was taking the piss and the audience were laughing at them. Although fashion filters down from the catwalk to the high street, there will still be many pieces that will look ridiculous to someone who shops at Boden and M&S, but that would be really appreciated by anyone really into their fashion. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to you that she might look at your wardrobe and think how bland and tired looking it all is? Or how conventional your home decor is?

I think that the best thing you can do is send her a text and say that you’re really sorry, you love her choices and how fabulous she looks in them, and you reacted without thinking because it’s a choice that is so far out of your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean that that there’s anything wrong with it. You love that she doesn’t judge you for your choices and that you’re so sorry you’ve made her feel like you’ve judged her choices.

We need a link. Honestly we need to see if you are reasonable or not and then work back to fixing this.

I’ve already said she pulls off clothes I never could, so I don’t think that’s a very fair comment.

Your words were fine. You've done enough, let her get over it. (And if she doesnt, more fool her).

I remember going to a wedding 4 years ago,
very posh do at The Corinthia in London.
The bride spent all of 2 hours in a £16000, yes 16 thousand pounds ( albeit stunning) wedding dress then changed into something that had apparently cost £5000 ( Prada maybe) and looked like it had come from a market stall for £9.99, my god it was hideous, a dirty off white, clingy and almost see through nylon monstrosity.
Money doesn’t = taste or style.

People can spend their own money on what they want

@Mischance

How do you know how much the dress cost?

What else shouldn't we be buying because people are using food banks?

Stop reacting to things?

Agree - what do you think , please lie if you don't like it. My mum does that, do you like my whatever, what are you supposed to say?!

Link pls op

So because some people have very little money, others’ spending habits should stop? Do you have even a basic understanding of how an economy works?

This is an utterly ridiculous comment. Everyone has different priorities. I know plenty of people who buy their clothes from Vinted, or charity shops, but spend astonishing amounts on holidays or cars. What about school fees? Or nails / hairdressing / Deliveroo?

Who are any of us to judge another person’s legal and legitimate spending?

Is it this?

Please show the dress.

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick,

and this is one such item that you wouldn’t pick. She has though. And that’s really all there is to it.

Bloody hell, it looks so cheap and nasty.

If you have out-there style which is very unique then you have to accept it’s not the norm and not everyone will like it.
It is the price of standing out and your friend knows that.
If she’d bought something very boring and bland you could probably say it’s nice, it suits you and everyone would get on with their day.
But she knows she’s bought something outrageous and she knows it won’t be to
your taste.
You have apologised for your initial reaction and if she can’t accept that, her ego is more fragile than her taste suggests.

That’s the most nonsensical argument I’ve ever heard. You could apply that argument to literally anything you own from a house downwards. There will always be a cheaper option.

The fact you messaged this morning and it’s only 3.30pm on a Saturday afternoon and she hasn’t replied - I wouldn’t read too much in to!!

Wtf!!!

Looks like you weren't far off actually

Amazing!!!
You tried to be polite, what more can you do!

Ok that looks like a pantomime dame dress 😅🙈😱 however is she likes it, then good for her! I wear very much my own style

Goodness 😲

Yep OP, that's a horrible dress.