Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

She needs to grow a pair.

Wow! I think I would have burst out laughing as it is quite a frock! But each to their own. Your friend is daft if she loses a friendship over your reaction - it is definitely a marmite dress and she is going to come across others who cannot hide their thoughts .

I don't know whether the dress is the crime or the price

I quite like it but not many people could get away with it.

It's like a Germoline Christmas cake.
YADNBU @SummerFate ! 😂
And 2 grand! 2 GRAND! Flaming Nora!

Was it based on one of these?

My auntie used to wear trainers with her skirts in the 90s. She wasn't fashionable at all, just a middle age mum who valued comfort over style. We all despaired. Look at us all now.
I'm not saying it's nice, I'm saying we might all be sporting something similar next summer...

Joke aside, I don't think she was reasonable in her reaction. She ought to have known it was "out there". The aim of the dress is to provoke.

I suspect if that dress was exactly the same but on the Primark website for £30 she might not like it anywhere near as much.

Regardless, it’s hideous.

The thing is, I find a lot of fashion hideous. I don't get it, at all. So usually if I don't really like something, I'm also not really judging it because I assume most clothes are going to hideous now. If it's not jeans a cardi, I probably think it's hideous. Even in the picture you posted, I can see strong elements of what is, to me, inexplicably popular just now, and ALL those elements are hideous to me, in every iteration.

Your friend is being quite touchy and you've tried to be diplomatic. You're actually allowed to hate her choices and she's allowed to hate yours. You're not saying she's a terrible person on the back of it, it's just a dress at the end of the day.

There’s been some good descriptions on this thread but this is my favourite so far!

I wouldn’t have been able to keep my reaction to myself either, OP.

If my bf showed me a dress & I thought it was hideous, I’d say, “IMFG its hideous”
thats what friend do …. Just saying

That too is hideous. If it looks so unflattering on the poor model - imagine what it would look like on Ms Everywoman.
Even if she was 6’2” and slender that dress would always be wearing her and not vice versa.
This would also apply to the one OP’s friend bought.

Sorry, I hadn't read your posts. Seen the dress now.

It's one hell of a dress, but tbh I can see what it's trying to do with its shape and style. The right person could pull it off. I think you'd have to be very tall and dark to do so, though. Not to mention thin. Again, am curious - where's it from?

I wouldn't/couldn't wear it, but I have actually seen worse. Right now, on a wedding-guest thread, someone's linked a truly hideous jumpsuit the colour of a pink fluorescent marker.

Wow!! Also.... where on earth was she planning to wear it??? I mean if she had £2k to blow on a dress I'm assuming she goes to some very swanky events/ has the lifestyle to match... it's hardly the kind of thing you could wear down the pub/ to a wedding etc

My friends are normal enough that if one
of them showed me that dress and I said fuck me that’s hideous and laughed wed
both end up laughing and making jokes about cinderellas ugly sisters pants outfits and it would be funny amd a joke! I’ve worn things my best friend was bluntly honest that she didn’t like it but said if I liked it who was she to say anything and also when she’s sent me photos of awful awful handbags - she’s got VERY weird taste in handbags 😂🤣 - I’ve sent her photos
and meme reactions and she’s not got offended! So your “friend” stropping and you feeling you need to apologise is just WEIRD

A real friend tells the truth! Lol.
It's all subjective, be a dull world if we all liked the same stuff. Give her time, she'll be ok. If she ends a friendship over this then she wasn't a friend.

Looks like it's made from that plasticky ribbon stuff my mother used to use for decor in the late 80s/early 90s...

Well, as others have said, if you have 'out there' fashion tastes, you can't expect everyone to like everything you wear. Being provocative is the point, isn't it? I'd just leave it at this point. You've apologised. There's nothing more to be said.

It’s absolutely fabulous, if you like that sort of thing.
I had some knickers like that when I was 6, and some curtains like that in the 80’s. Glorious.

It was a daft comment in the context of your opening post so don’t worry about it.

I think your friend needs to get over herself tbh. You can’t help how your face is. She has her own personal taste. You’ve already explained and been apologetic. I’d leave her to it.

I kind of think you should as the mods to delete the photo @SummerFate, because it seems to me that it's gone from AIBU to have inadvertently made my friend feel bad, to giving all of mumsnet a chance to make fun of her. If I was in her shoes and inclined to get over her hurt feelings, I'd feel much less charitable now.

I don't think it does. It's not easy getting fabric to do what that fabric is doing.

I kind of like it. Although there's not a cat in hell's chance I'd wear it now, I might have done as a teen back in the 80s. My leavers do dress has a similar skirt, but a regular sleaveless bodice top, and was in shiney pink taffeta (although a much nicer shade of pink)

Do you know if she bought it when it was £3,129 or whether she "only" paid £1,965 for it?

I mean, if your friend is going to fall out with you because you don't like a dress, that's fairly ridiculous! I would just leave it, you've apologised for your reaction, that's all you can do. In the grand scheme of things, it's not earth-shattering is it?

Looks like what my nan used to cover her toilet roll with ! Agree it’s hideous! You know the saying “wouldn’t do for us all to like the same thing” or something that