Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I caught the photos. You're right @SummerFate it is "objectively" hideous, Dolce & Gabbana notwithstanding

I lived through the late 70s/80s/90s seasons of Laura Ashley florals (think: 4 Weddings and a Funeral) but nothing that hideous. It's the combination of too many ruffles, plus the shiny nature of the fabric. It looks cheap, even though it's made of cotton.

😂😂😂😂

You can't help it-what you said was right, but your initial reaction was something you can't control. And you're right, it's her choice, and she seems to be overreacting-t's not like you called her baby ugly!

Taste and style maybe objective and personal, but you’re right, that’s hideous. The fabric looks cheap, the design and cut is a long way from fine tailoring, tiered frills are not exactly technically difficult to sew, and if she’s paid twice your monthly mortgage costs on it she’s been had. I’m not sure what you can say to her other than you don’t like it, but that if she does then that’s all that matters.

Christ! That IS hideous.

😂

Must admit - I wore a bridesmaid dress in the 90s that was very similar to this. Maybe I could list it in Vinted for £2k as it’s very similar to OP’s friends dress 🤑

I think honesty is the best policy. Perhaps it could've been phrased slightly better but you've explained. You were acting with good intentions though and she may realise this with time.

People have different tastes, she can't expect you to like every item of clothing that she does. If she feels good in this dress, that's all that matters.

She sounds rather high maintenance.

Many years ago I worked with someone and we were going out for the night. Her dress sense was not to my taste and always different. She asked me what I thought, so I just said thats the sort of thing that you like to wear isnt it. She was more than happy with the answer. Situation avoided.

Chryst almighty! Jesus of Nazareth! That is the most ugliest thing I honestly have ever seen in my entire life. And I am not kidding, I promise! And she paid ANY money for that, even a penny, let alone a lot? It looks like a bunch of sewn together plastic shopping bags or household garbage bags! That is so beyond hideous that the definition of 'hideous' has jumped the shark and it needs it's own separate definition of hideous in the dictionary, with that as a picture next to the entry. More money than sense, comes to mind when I think of your friend. I had my mouth wide open in shock for around 10 seconds just looking at it. There is no way I could hide my impression of that, it wouldn't be possible. Don't blame yourself, there is no superhuman strength that could give you a poker face that could hide the shock.

Could we at least know the price? Please

I think OP was spot on, it defies grammar and is objectively hideous.

I had the same with a friend’s hairdo. Unfortunately she walked in and saw my reaction before I could school my features into neutrality.

We've been told about both. Read OP's posts.

YANBU that is a hideous dress did she buy it from a vintage shop.

All that dress needs is leg o' mutton sleeves and it'll be @Marmalademorning's 90s bridesmaid frock.

OP I cannot believe the bashing a number of posters have given you for not having the ability to mask your feelings when dropped on with no warning. I wonder how your friend would have reacted if you'd said it was awful? I wonder if she's having second thoughts and feels bad she spent so much on it?

My thoughts too. Was it perhaps for a "fancy dress" do😄?

Looks like a 1980s toddlers tea party dress

FFS because she did.

@Besafeeatcake I think that's abit harsh, she says that her face reacted before her brain could tell it to keep quiet! I'm not sure what the best reaction is if you truly detest something - lie and say it's gorgeous?!

Dolce & Gabbana are trolling the people who will buy that dress…. I mean they’re actually flipping through children’s fairytale books like Cinderella, picking the worst dress they could find and landed on one that one of the ‘Ugly Sisters’ was wearing, chuckling like a giggly kid on a wind up and then making it out of the most plasticky man made material for added effect and charging £££££ for it whilst laughing their bloody heads off

The 80s called and want their bridesmaid dress back.

It's definitely panto dame/bad cross dresser (like when Ros in Frasier gave away her old bridesmaid dresses to a man)

But seriously, 2k on that monstrosity?

I thought the same but with dog poo bags!

Not entirely sure what this means. If anything.

Awful, and im very easy going and accepting