Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I like the dress 😂

I believe my English is perfectly fine, but happy to be corrected?!

I was being a bit tongue in cheek with the grip comment, but I meant that I don't think OP has been a mean girl in the slightest - she wasn't rude at all about the (questionable) dress, is even agonising over inadvertently offending her friend and is trying to find a way to make up for it.

But I stand by it.. the dress is GRIM!

I think good friends are absolutely vital for opinions on this type of stuff, particularly if you respect their point of view.

I would absolutely tell my close friends that that dress was hideous or amazing for an 80s fancy dress.

I would probably be slightly choosier with my words if I didn't know them so well.

The only time I would lie is if they were on their way out and had no other options.

Out of interest, how much was this dress?

I’ve just seen the dress Jesus Christ it’s vile

However horrible you think it is it's still a subjective opinion. Obviously the people who designed and sold it and the people who buy it don't think it's hideous

Nonsense, all she needs to accessorise it with is a bonfire and another dress.

Funniest today 😂

Wow that is absolutely vile! I think I’d react the same too!

You are making yourself sound silly for 2 reasons. Firstly, people can't always control their facial expressions. Secondly her friend asked for her fucking opinion.

Tell me, seeing as you are so clever, what would you have done? Told her how amazing she looked despite the fact that the dress is ridiculous? If so then that would make you a far shit friend than op. So please, give it a rest.

OK I was thinking, how bad can it be, she's spent a fair, bit but jesus christ on a bike, that's really awful. A supermodel couldn't pull that off. I'd have laughed out loud. Honestly if she can spend £££ on something that hideous i wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings she clearly has rhino hide.

I'm old enough to say that I never saw anything so hideous as a lampshade in the 70s, maybe a toilet roll cover though, MIL was obsessed with giving them out.

It looks like something Grayson Perry would wear. That’s not a compliment.

of she’s adventurous in fashion she shouldn’t really give threat much to what people think? Friends have diffent styles and tastes. So what. My friend asked if I liked her hair, I said no. We talked about it why it wasn’t my favourite then moved on? She didn’t look bad I just didn’t like it.

But again we are very different stylistically. And she’s a fashion girlie. I’m very much of mind “if you like it, I love it - but I wouldn’t do it”

maybe school your face a bit better or practice doing a confused face rather than ew that’s grim face. That’s what I do. I furrow my brow and tilt to the side rather then grimace. It helps in lots of awkward situations.

Why is she posting a thread asking for reassurance about her reaction to the dress - and laughing with everyone about how awful she thinks it is - when she purposely hurt her friend’s feelings? I would have told a white lie because I value my friendships more than being right over a bloody dress!! It’s her friend who has to wear it, not her.

It didn't really look that hideous to me, I was expecting something much worse.
Like the sack dresses that people suggest on S&B threads.

Exactly this.

The dress is hideous. She’s an adult. She clearly likes the idea of drawing attention to herself. If she can’t accept the fact that a lot of people will have a very different idea to her of what a nice dress looks like then she either needs to wear less outlandish things or stop asking people what they think of them.

I’d far rather have a friend who gives an honest opinion than one who smiles nicely and says how wonderful I look despite wearing something resembling a dress made of 150 pink ruffled bin liners. I would really rather know what people think.

It is exactly the sort of thing certain posters would recommend on Style & Beauty!

🤣🤣🤣

As a friend I'd want you to be honest ,she's being silly expecting you to to just nod and agree 🤷

I think it’s actually get a grip on yourself.

I don’t agree. I think OP has behaved exactly like a mean girl by coming on here under an anonymous username and giggling with everyone about how utterly awful and hideous and disgusting the dress is all whilst insisting she’s not a bad friend and she’s got every right to react as she wishes if she doesn’t like her friend’s dress.

So she’s looking for validation for her bad manners and mocking her friend more whilst she’s at it? Cowardly as hell.

Oh my god. I can see him in it. 😱My eyes, my eyes!!

I noticed you pulled someone up on their grammar earlier, so I'll pull you up on your reading comprehension. At what point did the OP purposely hurt her friends feelings? Please explain where you got that from the OP?

Regarding your point on telling a white lie, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that approach if that's the one that you would prefer to take. Many people prefer honesty though. There is also nothing wrong with that.

Funny dress, Funny lady.

Holy shit balls!!!!!!

🤯🤯🤯

Thanks for telling me! I wonder how it feels to have THAT MUCH MONEY to spend on one dress….. 🤔