Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

You don’t need to apologise; she needs a thicker skin and better taste in clothes…

What on earth do you think your friends’ choice in clothes has to do with you ?

It's in the OP: 'However, yesterday she showed me the dress...'

So you didn't like it. Why did you pretend you did when she asked?

You could have said actually it's not at all flattering and I think you should send it back.

Be honest.

And your friend is unreasonable if she ends the friendship over your honest opinion.

I have had a shit day and this made me laugh! Omg. It is vile. A bit like the wedding dress in bridesmaids.
I couldn't have kept my face straight either.

Our faces often say what we're too polite to say out loud! I hate it when someone asks for an opinion then doesn't like said opinion

Nevertheless…

Why ask OPs opinion then, if the friends taste is so great and OPs taste is so poor?

Why ask someone opinion of something you've already bought anyway? Either she was fishing for compliments or was secretly unsure of her purchase.

If you don't want people opinions (it wasnt even given anyway), don't ask 🤷‍♀️

Friend sounds high maintenence OP.

Oh no it doesn't!

You are entitled to hold an opinion about something someone is wearing (or proposes to wear), and your friend shouldn’t be some precious baby because someone doesn’t like an item of clothing. It’s not like you made fun of her or even told her you hated it. This honestly sounds like something from the playground.

If your friend ends the friendship over this then I’d think myself lucky and ensure the door didn’t hit her on the arse as she stepped out of my life.

She likes it and spent a small fortune on it. If she's a friend just shut up. Her other fashionable friends may think it's fantastic, if it's for a big bash.

I am normally quite tactful in real life about this sort of thing but no way I’d have been able to keep a straight face about that either OP!

Jaysis @SummerFate , you'd have to have a facefull of botox to not react to that.
I'd have awkward laughed and been mortified myself.

Tbf you do sound totally lacking in humour at least your friend has a sense of fun

A friend once told me that the new coat I had spend a lot of money on (for me at the time) made me look like Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen. I never wore it again 🤣 And I did tell her it was an annoying comment because now she said it I couldn’t unsee it, but in a funny way we could both laugh at, and I enjoyed laughing at myself too. Maybe your friend needs to take herself less seriously?

You were honest, although diplomatic, I would expect this from my best friend and would appreciate it. She's hurt by your sincerity, and you were not even rude. I think she's got some personality issue about self acceptance. It's a dress, not her figure to be under scrutiny.

I would ask myself is there is some sort of lack of confidence or jealousy from her side, because this is completely nonsense to me.

And no, I'm not interested to see the dress, because it's clearly not the issue.
You've done what matters, asking how she is, if she's so hurt, something is going on regarding competition I think.

It is hideous.

I try not to have friends who would ask for my opinion and then be offended if I give it. They're not friends. I dunno what they are, but they're not friends.. people who only want to hear nice things/flattery perhaps... Ugh.

YANBU. If your friend is very into fashion and used to wearing things that are 'out there' and not to everyone's taste, then I'd imagine it she felt good about how she looked on something it wouldn't matter that one friend didn't like it. I think this is just showing her own insecurity about the dress.

That reallly IS an awful dress 😂

I quite like the dress and would wear it, but it isn't fair of your friend to expect you to like everything she wears - she has to accept you have different tastes, that's not unreasonable, that's human.

OMG @SummerFate truly hideous. Looks like a 70s lampshade. I’d have struggled to keep a straight face 😬🫣

Your friend is an Over sensitive drama queen. Can't be that good of a friend if you cant give each other honest opinions. You did nothing wrong. The dress is hideous.

Really? So your very on point friend, fashion wise, has selected a dress which was previously discussed on Mumsnet a few years ago? 🧐🤨🧐🤨

Not convinced this is real, but that dress has Princess Di wedding dress vibes updated for the 2020s market.

She needs to get a grip frankly, it’s not like you insulted her or her family. I cant be bothered with huffy adults.