Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

Is this really the dress?!?!?!

Yanbu sorry 😭

For all you know the friend may contribute to food banks! Do you?

I think it's absolutely horrible to tell somebody that they look nice in something when they looked dreadful.

I would much rather a friend told me I look at fright then let me go out looking a fright.

No! Don't pollute the oceans!

I wouldn’t have worn that in the 80s and I wore quite a lot of pretty extreme 80s fashion -but that would have been a step too far.
@SummerFate if you didn’t start to laugh then you have far more self control than I do.
I can’t even see Princess Diana being able to pull that off at the height of 80s ruffles and crispy taffeta.

Sure. She purposely hurt her friend’s feelings where she says ‘my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet. She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset.’ She decided not to show any tact or diplomacy, and really upset her friend. I’m presuming she’s a grown woman who normally knows how to behave and has good manners. Would it have killed her to have behaved kindly with her friend?

Each to there own and we really shouldn't poke fun at others choices................But fuck me that is one fugly dress and if any friend of mine wore that i would not be able to breathe for laughing.

Thankyou kind internet stranger. Aggressively flammable is my new favourite phrase 🤣

is her name Marlene? Does she hang out in Peckham in the 1980s?

True friends are allowed to be honest with each other. As long as the opinions are stated without any nastiness.

by the way, I think the black shoes the model is wearing are pretty awful and unflattering. In one of the photos the heels look bent as if the model couldn’t bother standing straight.

That’s your preference. It’s obviously not the preference of OP’s friend. Part of being a good friend is knowing when you need to control what you really feel or think about something.

How close are you to the friend who told you she bought this dress? I don't mean to upset you, but this specific dress has been a viral meme and the source of a lot of pranks on TikTok, etc. with people claiming to have bought this exact dress, or similar, and asking for responses.

Oh my. OP, this has got to be a wind up surely. I mean who in their right mind would wear that!! I would say I'm very diplomatic, but I'd have LOL'd and asked if she was being serious.

Obviously you have 100% control of your facial expressions then. Not all of us do sadly. It's not unkind. It's just a human reaction.

Anyway, I'll not derail the thread with an argument, so have a lovely evening. 😊

I actually love that house bag.

I don’t think either of us are in an argument with each other.

Of course I’m not always in full control of my facial expressions. The point I’m trying to make is that the OP should have shown better manners towards her friend. The fact she’s laughed along with everyone else about how awful the dress is suggests she really doesn’t think much of her friend at all. I’m just hoping the OP isn’t part of one of my circles of friends.

Showed the dress to DH. Still writhing on the floor laughing. Even after looking at the price. Actually that may have pushed him further over the edge. And [humble brag] we can afford to spend that sort of money on dresses if we really wished to, only I am of the mind that if I have 2k for a dress in the sales, or £15k on a designer handbag, I’d rather donate it to a medical/nursing student. So we don’t. And I get fashion. I really do… but this dress needs bloomers and a Shirley Temple with matching ringlets. It is beyond an abomination.

Hopefully OP’s friend will wake up in a few days and realise it was an insane, time of the month triggered, irrational purchase and take it back for a refund. Ideally before she has scraped her own husband off the floor after showing it to him.

Yikes - it’s actually worse than I imagined 🤦‍♀️
Would have looked good in Dallas or Dynasty back in the 80s.
Ps never play poker for money btw!

That dress is horrific… a real friend shouldn’t need to lie and say any different. £2k. Wow!

@Riverpaddling
omg I was literally thinking and posting that at the same time as you.

it looks like nappy sacks from Tescos 😳😳😳

You guys know how to have fun on a Saturday evening 👍

I couldn’t wear it but it’s certainly a statement dress and if she loves it and can pull it off then go her ❤️

Oh come on. It’s not that bad. I mean accessorised with a bunch of Gladioli and Dame Edna’s your uncle!

Yep - he’s off on a business trip for two weeks, flying tomorrow, so we had our regular cocktail Saturday with the kids (18 and 21). However, he is checking in on the Miami Grand prix just now, having been there last year, and I was lured here to check the threads while finishing my passionfruit martini (4 for the price of 3 in Sainsbury’s. Wicked)

So, yeah. We’re pretty fun. I still would never wear that abominable dress, though.

Writhing on the floor laughing, eh? It seems that your wealth and smugness is inversely related to your sense of humour and self-awareness.