Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

Speechless. Which is rare.

Yes that dress is unforgivable. She should be apologising to YOU for offence, OP!!! 😲😂

Did you mean to me so....accurate 😱

I was alive in the 80's. It wasn't that bad!!!

of eyes presumably

3 - throw it in the fucking sea

Tbf I think that does fall into the objectively hideous category. 😬But even if it didn't... if she's going to make 'out there' fashion choices then she needs to own them, and she needs to be less bothered by other people's opinions. Sounds like she's not sure about this one herself, but it's unfair of her to react like this just because your face betrayed your thoughts.

There are times when I really miss the laugh reaction emoji. This is one of them. 😄

Oh sweet Jesus that is fucking HIDEOUS 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fuck, I like it 🤦‍♀️

(questions all life choices ….) 😬

OH MY...

What the hell was the stylist doing in those pictures with the black court shoes? She must've hated the dress too!

It's still a bit "Nice dress that's wearing you" but someone tall, skinny and strongly styled could carry it off.

You weren't BU, @SummerFate, because you couldn't help what your face was showing. You've made all the correct apologies. Hope your friend's calmed down now.

Not sure how you can say your dislike is "objective" when it sounds like you only have two people's opinions and one of you clearly liked it...

I would also like to see the dress though 😂

That is a special kind of vile.

Bloody hell, I’m not surprised you recoiled when you saw that OP. And to think she spent the best part of £2k to wear it as well!

On another note, it’s such a shame that KM I just isn’t the same anymore since the brand was sold. I used to buy a lot from Karen Millen. The quality was second to none. It’s just not the same anymore. I think a lot of high street brands are going the same way unfortunately.

Nope nope nope not in any situation or body type or culture. And I feel for you ..my (40 y.o.) spontaneous reaction to pink nylon knickers with ruched frills on the bum, from Mum, as a Xmas gift, was also uncontrollable

Is it from Temu?

You were right to tell her the truth that dress is so ugly omg 😦 If it doesn’t blow over then that says more about her than you because really it’s trivial

47 thousand pounds!!!!
You can get a real house round here for not much more than that 😅

Oh God, I've been looking at this thread too long because that dress is beginning to grow on me.

It's like Stockholm Syndrome, only with clothes.

I don't think there is anyone who could make that look good. Or any amount of styling. Or even just like it wasn't fancy dress. It really is objectively hideous and hopefully she'll get a grip.

That is hands down he ugliest dress I have ever seen in my whole life. I woulnd't even wear this for a £100 bet. It really is beyond hideous. I think your response was tame to be fair.

@Tikitaka20 "But if someone asks me my thoughts on something and I know I’ll hurt their feelings by saying what I really think, I tell a white lie to spare their feelings."

So do I. I'm a great believer in white lies to spare feelings unless it would in some way be dangerous or unhealthy. But the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes, even with our nearest and dearest or cherished friends, our faces cannot help but tell a story. Albeit fleetingly. I loved my late DH dearly and he me, but there were times over the years when I'd read his expression and know pretty much what he was thinking, and vice versa. Same with my adult son. It's not always possible to hide concern, even though you try your best. You don't have to be a bitch for your face to reveal your emotions and I still stand by the fact that, as humans, it really is utterly impossible to always control your face or eyes. I'd be extremely surprised if those close to you didn't sometimes pick up on your true feelings. That would be very unusual. But we can of course control our words. If the OP had actually said something nasty, then that would be a different discussion altogether. And quite frankly if all the recipient has got to worry about is a friend not particularly liking her new dress, then she's very fortunate.

Blimey.

Advise her to keep away from candles

It's like Drew Barrymore's first prom dress in Never Been Kissed which, according to my kids, is a very problematic movie even though I love it, weird teacher student relationship aside.