Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I’m reminded of an old New Yorker (I think) cartoon where a waiter has gone back into the restaurant kitchen and is saying to the chef “They actually ate it!”
I think some dress designers do this. “She actually bought it! And wore it!”
Some of them supply some of the celebrities who appear at the Oscar ceremonies and the like. ”She actually wore it! Her entire arse is on display! I’ve won the bet!”

Oh my god, that is hideous!!! No one could blame you for not being able to control your face on seeing that.

OP the picture of the dress actually made me laugh out loud so you did better than I would have done!

It looks like somebody has taken all the bits from de-shelling a load of prawns and then sewn them all together!

Now you've posted a picture of the dress, I can understand why you reacted in the way you have!! I think it's understandable that you reacted, before your brain had the chance to engage!! The dress is truly awful. It reminds me of an 80's over-the-top wedding dress, in some kind of shiny satin material 😱😱😱

There’s no need to be rude or sarcastic to me.

Of course I don’t hide my emotions at all times. But if someone asks me my thoughts on something and I know I’ll hurt their feelings by saying what I really think, I tell a white lie to spare their feelings.

I don’t agree this was minor critique from the OP. It’s clearly really upset her friend, and she’s also posted about it on here, so I think that makes it pretty major.

Also, what is the point of the OP’s thread? On one hand, she seems to be looking for reassurance that she acted appropriately and didn’t offend her friend with her facial expression. Yet in the same thread - under an anonymous username - she says that the dress - which we know she doesn’t like - ‘cost twice as much as [her] monthly mortgage’. That just seems unnecessary and spiteful.

Well there aren't many people who could get away with that one!

It's very 80's prom

It's a bit of a tricky one, isn't it. The thing is, she did ask you what you thought of it. Who knows, she may have had her own reservations.

I'd give her a tiny bit of space, and then message her again, perhaps suggesting something that you could do together.

I hope it sorts itself out. It's horrid falling out with friends.

women are so problematic aren't they?
She needs to not ask you anymore.

My sister can’t hide what she is thinking. It’s like she has subtitles in her face. I really value her opinion.

Stick to your guns. You are honest.

My first thought on seeing this photo was one of my dad’s phrases (in jest) “are you wearing that for a bet?”!
My face gives me away constantly even though I always want to be kind. I would totally have failed here too. Don’t beat yourself up, you sound like a kind person.

OP, it looks as though it’s made of pink bin liner! I fear my face would have given me away had I been asked for an opinion - and it cost how much????

I have a friend with an interesting style. Her day to day wear is quite basic but she does a lot of public appearances and to those she likes to wear outfits that are quite out there. When my opinion is asked, I say "how do you feel in that dress?" And based on that i can give her my opinion. Highly reccomend.

As for now, you've apologised and explained yourself. You were not rude. Let it blow over.

That dress is pricelessly hysterical.Reminds me of the hat Beatrice wore to a Royal wedding,which she later auctioned on EBay and it fetched a fortune for charity.

Thanks. Yes, maybe the dress’s price further affected OP’s thoughts on it.

😂

Oh no she didn’t !

It is. Or Eugenie & Beatrice.

My first thought was an 80s bridesmaid dress. Just needs a giant bow on the back!

You’re right that is hideous. It looks like a bad 80s bridesmaid dress.

It’s hideous 🤣🤣

Hideous is an understatement

Hahaha, it looks even worse with the added fake jewellery bling! (imho)

lol OP Yanbu at all 😂