Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

Fucking hell.

There are some ghastly dresses which very beautiful, slim, stylish and charismatic people can carry off. This is not one of them.

Did your friend want to fulfil a childhood fantasy of becoming a real life toilet roll dolly? Because that is the absolute nicest thing I can think of saying about the dress.

but even then they'd still look like a stunning person in a hideous dress!

I think people are giving you a hard time OP. You didn't SAY anything mean, in fact once your expression had given you away you probably said all the right things. We can't always completely control our facial expressions!

If your friend is so confident in wearing such out-there clothing it's bizarre she reacted so strongly to you very politely saying you don't like it. Surely she isn't blind to the fact that there will be a lot of people at best side-eying and at worst making comments when she's out and about wearing this stuff. I know I'd struggle to hide my reaction if I saw someone wearing that, and I'm someone that tries to be polite - lots of people either have absolutely no filter and/or pride themselves on 'saying it like it is' - I can't believe nobody else has ever said anything even slightly negative to her before. At the end of the day, if you don't want people commenting on your clothing, don't show them it!

You're right it's ugly and I definitely would say it's two grand wasted. It looks like it belongs on a bog roll from the 70s to be honest. She's not much of a friend if she's going to blank you just because you don't like her ugly dress

Is your friend's name Kathleen Darleen Day-Night?

Hideous!
Reminds me of those awful 80’s bridesmaids dresses crossed with a pantomime dame dress. She must of been joking you!

Ha ha. I’m rewatching Rivals and that would fit right in (set in the 1980s for anyone not aware).

Is her name Valerie jones?

It is, of course, horrible and while I can understand your friend feeling a bit miffed that you peed on her parade, if someone has quite ‘out there’ taste, part of that must really be accepting that not everyone will share your opinion on fashion, surely?

I understand and totally agree that our faces can betray what we’re really feeling, even when we’re trying our best not to show it.

But I think OP lets herself down here with her OP saying one thing (oh I’m so worried I might have unintentionally upset my friend) and her subsequent posts saying another (here’s a link I’m posting anonymously to the horrible and ruinously expensive dress so you and I can mock it together, but please please don’t tell my friend - she’ll kill me!)

To me, it undermines OP’s argument that she didn’t mean to hurt her friend’s feelings with her facial expression.

Ok, that is objectively hideous.

And I like bold, 'out there' looks.

I can't believe it cost £2k. It looks like it came from Shein.

Fucking hell OP.

Laughing my head off at any poster that suggested your opinion isn't valid because there isn't any such thing as an 'objectively hideous' dress.

I'd love to see anyone keep a straight face when confronted with that monstrosity.

I've seen it now. OK 😂

That is hideous

I notice the model isn't showing her face.

This post was a reply to @ginasevern’s 18:04 post. Sorry, I meant to quote you!

That’s an awful dress. As the wonderful Dolly Parton says ‘it costs a lot of money to look this cheap!’

When an outfit even makes the tall, gorgeous model look dumpy and frumpy, you know it's over for us average people 🤣 It sounds like your friend will have the confidence to carry this off, but yanbu to have been unable to control your face

That is awful.

That is hideous! It looks cheap and nasty. I wouldn't be surprised to find a toilet roll under that!

I got ChatGPT to put this dress on long, black supermodel Awar Odhiang. Even after 'runway' styling and colourful makeup, it looked so absurd that I didn't bother downloading the image. Black models usually look great in bright pink, on camera at least. This one could be a lost cause!

This looks like something Kath would have bought from Tru & Prude's shop at the mall for a big night out/important occasion with Kel.

I don’t know if anyone else has said this but I just remembered what it reminds me of and why I love it! Drew Barrymore’s prom dress in Never Been Kissed!! (When she is Josie Grossie)

Oh yes!! Very much so

You were honest. Yes she's your friend but she can't expect you to lie for her

I don't know what's worse, the dress or how much it cost!

That colour reminds me of the time I had alcohol poisoning and threw up so much I ended up bringing up bile.

Was she really asking your opinion or looking for flattery and you to gush over it? I suggest the latter because her reaction isn’t one you’d expect from someone who wants a ln opinion. So I wouldn’t fix it - I’d let it slide.