to cuddle a man?

[R0XY]

I have a close male friend. Sometimes he stays over at my place and we sleep in the same bed.
(I only have one bed)

Often I wake up and he is holding me/cuddled up to me. It’s comforting for us both.

Is this actually OK? I feel confused.

Definitely.

I personally don’t believe men make the effort to become very close friends with women they don’t want to shag. Especially when they’re hopping into bed and cuddling them. Sounds to me like it’s less platonic on his side than you think OP.

No, come on. Don't be faux confused.

If you're with someone else, there are certain intimate things you shouldn't do with anyone else like 'cuddling' or anything else in bed.

A teddy bear or blanket works wonders.

From what you have said you both feel comfortable so I can’t see an issue.

Of either of you had partners then their views would also need to be considered, I can’t imagine my partner being happy but you don’t have to worry about that so really there isn’t an issue.

You're asking why it would be inappropriate to cuddle another man intimately and wake up next to him in bed if you were married to someone else? Come on.

After years of living and believing in platonic friendships I now have the same view.

You seem to think that a romantic relationship only revolves around the sexual, but a huge part of a romantic relationship is having the shared intimacy, physical closeness and emotional intimacy.

The reason most people would be threatened by their husband or wife cuddling someone like this in bed is because that kind of emotional and physical intimacy is usually limited to a person’s significant other.

It sounds like what you have with your friend is something a little like a romantic relationship without the sexual element. You are very comfortable around one another, you are physically close, and you derive emotional support from that closeness.

And that’s complete fine! But it takes it out of the realm of a platonic friendship and into a slightly different place, which is probably why you’re feeling uncertain about it. It’s perfectly ok to have a relationship which has the closeness and emotional elements without the sex, but it is a different beast and it is likely to hurt/confuse any future partners you both may have if you’re not prepared for it.

By all means go with the flow, but be aware that if you or he do meet someone then the dynamic will have to change, and that’s likely to be difficult (e.g. if he meets someone, she finds out he cuddles you in bed is understandably jealous, and he is forced to limit contact - or vice versa).

For now though, enjoy it! Glad you have a good friend there for you through the tough times.

You are both single, do whatever you want, if you were in relationships, no it wouldn’t be right

I’ve shared a bed w male friends in my younger days and nothing like this happened. It sounds like your friend wanted something to happen.
Next time I’d say ‘I’d rather you slept in the sofa or you can use a sleeping bag on my bed and I’ll sleep under the covers’.

Its not really about trust its about boundariea kindness and respect. No one really wants their partner sleeping with someone of the opposite sex. Being a good partner means making your other half feel safe. Not testing them.

If its comfortable for you then it's fine. Platonic friends are allowed physical touch. It doesn't have to be sexual.

If he's got a stiffy and he's trying it on and you are not interested in him sexually then it's not OK obviously.

"People don’t trust their partners do they."

It is about boundaries and respect Op.

It's not about lack of trust is about respecting other people's feelings. You've already said you wouldn't like a partner doing it. Nothing stopping you being friends as the PP you quoted shows

As for now while you are single, anything is fine. Your friend has issues.

I had platonic male friendships when I was at uni. Going to the cinema, sitting under the same blanket on my bed watching a movie, sharing a meal/ice cream. I naively assumed that I could do those things with them because that’s exactly how I would be with female friends too.

Over the course of three years every single one of my male friends made a move at some point!!

Turns out it was platonic for me only 🤦🏼‍♀️

I do have platonic friendships with men in my early 40’s, but they never cross a boundary with intimacy like the above. We’ll go for lunch, dinner, drinks etc, but I’d never sit on a bed, share a blanket or share a dessert etc. There’s a line I wouldn’t cross.