AIBU to be baffled a mum had no idea the school fayre was happening?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Today my daughter's primary school had a spring fayre after school on the school field. Ice cream van, face-painting, various stalls with games, the usual. All arranged by the PTA to raise money for the school.
There was a mufti day today, and the children were asked to bring a donation to the school as an exchange for the mufti, something like cakes to sell or a teddy for the tombola or a bottle of wine as a prize or something.
One mum wanders onto the field after school, with both of her kids in mufti, looking around bewildered saying "What's this? Is this a new thing they're doing? Will it be every week?"

And this is so weird to me because the spring fayre has been organised for months. We have lots of emails asking for donations, several more asking for volunteers, we've had at least three leaflets home about it, and she obviously got the memo about mufti, the whole point in which was for the school fayre!

My phone own child has been banging on about it for three weeks.

How can she get so unaware? I'm not judging, honestly, I'm just baffled how it got past her.

Is it just me? Could you miss something like this after all that communication?

That was me too. I think the term is quite niche and only in specific areas!

Nope. See my explanation. Astonished it’s still used anywhere TBH, given its colonial connotations.

As an Irish person, I’d have a proper PADDY, were it used at my son’s school.

so glad primary school finished for us and school for that matter. Used to piss me off with their endless activities

No, as already said it comes from a word meaning an Islamic scholar and was adopted by the British Army in India. It's widespread across many parts of the former British Empire.

Apart from Kent where weirdly they call them tag days. I'd never heard of a tag day till I moved to Kent. Mufti is far more usual.

Some other commonwealth countries use it, like Australia & New Zealand (although I don’t know if they would also have a split like this thread, where some people have never heard of it)

Maybe she's sensible and her husband does all the school admin.

in Surrey: they used it on us all the time, not long time ago

Her kids probably reminded her this morning that they didn't have to wear uniform and there was a donation required.

Not everyone has the headspace to keep track of all the details of stuff the school.or the PTA does.

Not everyone is obsessed with what goes on at their children's school.

Um…well done Surrey?

I have no idea what’s going on at school. I’m overwhelmed on many fronts and never read the newsletters.

That doesn’t stop half the people on here saying that she may have other things going on. Maybe she hasn’t.

Many parents like their children to benefit from PTA fundraising. Not many want to do anything to help.

Yanbu. When mine were in primary school there was a fb group for each year group and one particular mum never knew about anything that was happening. She used to put all sorts of questions on the group or comment “I’ve not heard about this”. I just wanted to scream READ THE NEWSLETTER FFS.

You don't have to be "obsessed" with something to be aware it is happening after you've been told several times.

Do these people not have any sort of social calander?

I agree we have parents who literally must not bother reading anything and it’s always the same ones who complain that they “aren’t aware” of stuff.
Same at work I work for an nhs trust and people are like “oh I wasn’t aware of that” and then they’ve had tonnes of emails/posters/ all sorts.
Tiresome is the word, I work full time I have 3 kids and I have to organise myself!

Loving the use of mufti. I’m from Merseyside and when I was at school, own clothes day was always called mufti day. Then I went to uni to study teacher training and NO ONE used that phrase, none of the schools I did placements in, none of my uni friends had heard of it, I was baffled as I thought everyone used it!

I know what mufti is. Some people seem to expect to be told personally about things and don’t bother with emails etc. I had a parent complain that she didn’t know about something I pointed out out a notice on the door. “ I don’t bother to read them” explained that it was online that’s boring. I did say well your child will miss out then. On a serious note it may be that their literacy is not good and they can’t read notices or emails.

Haha, I once sent my 6 year old to school in a bee costume. I completely got it wrong, thinking it was fancy dress. She's now 11 and will only go to school in uniform whether it's "mufti" day or not.

I’ve missed parents evenings over the years. It’s easily done when you’ve got a million things to think about everyday

When I was at school in the 1970s, it was known as "Civvies Day" so perhaps also an army connotation. I didn't hear of Mufti Day until my DS started school in London circa 2002.

Never heard of a non uniform day being called a mufti before. Is it a regional thing?

Anyway being in education some people need practically spoon fed information. We send out all holiday days at the start of term by email and paper copy. Also on the council website.
Every weekly newsletter has holiday dates for that month and upcoming events. Again paper and email and all are on school website. Weekly notice board.
We still get the odd parent that is surprised when we close for any holiday.

How? In my kids school the calendar gets published a year in advance; we get reminders starting a month or so in advance that PD is coming up; it’s always the same time of the year as well so I just pop it in my calendar to remind me a week and a day in advance.
once 26/27 school year calendar got emailed took me less than 5 mins to enter all non school days etc (as next school year there’s a bit of a change).

I’m Kent and never heard of tag days 😂

Trauma she’ll never forget 🤣🤣🤣

I went to Morocco for a week with a friend when my son was 3 years old.

My husband totally forgot about World Book Day at nursery and when they pitched up, our son dressed as usual, room leader was like “Oh, yes - mummy’s away isn’t she?”

Says it all about just how much mental load women carry and how it’s very easy to drop the ball: particularly if one has a “big job” which many women do.

Nobody EVER expects married men with kids to remember it all though - do they?