AIBU to be baffled a mum had no idea the school fayre was happening?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Today my daughter's primary school had a spring fayre after school on the school field. Ice cream van, face-painting, various stalls with games, the usual. All arranged by the PTA to raise money for the school.
There was a mufti day today, and the children were asked to bring a donation to the school as an exchange for the mufti, something like cakes to sell or a teddy for the tombola or a bottle of wine as a prize or something.
One mum wanders onto the field after school, with both of her kids in mufti, looking around bewildered saying "What's this? Is this a new thing they're doing? Will it be every week?"

And this is so weird to me because the spring fayre has been organised for months. We have lots of emails asking for donations, several more asking for volunteers, we've had at least three leaflets home about it, and she obviously got the memo about mufti, the whole point in which was for the school fayre!

My phone own child has been banging on about it for three weeks.

How can she get so unaware? I'm not judging, honestly, I'm just baffled how it got past her.

Is it just me? Could you miss something like this after all that communication?

I had 3 kids and a busy job, but always read emails from the school, as literally takes less time than reading a post on MN which many manage to find the time for despite being so busy.

Well, it would definitely be non-uniform day and fair or fete where I am in London.

Well it’s never been anything except non uniform day in every school I’ve attended, mu friends have attended, and my children AND my grandchildren, so 🤷‍♀️

I had to google mufti and I got “A Muslim legal expert who is empowered to give rulings on religious matters” so I’m not surprised there are loads of confused posters on her.

It's not regional. Unless you consider the army or Britain's colonial history and general knowledge to be regional.

Yes they were oblivious, probably don't look at any school stuff

Its a non uniform day.....I think only England has this term. I was caught out on the first one as I read the newsletter, saw the term and had no idea what it meant. So my DC went in uniform!

I grew up in 1980s west Belfast and had literally no Scooby what you were on about.

I suspected it had something to do with the British Raj and, on Googling “origins of the term ‘mufti day’,” turns out I was right:

“Mufti day" originated in the 19th-century British Army, where officers off-duty wore casual, loose-fitting clothing—such as dressing gowns and tasselled caps—that they felt resembled the traditional robes of Muslim religious scholars (mufti) in colonial India.

Unsurprisingly, Republican-led west Belfast residents weren’t running around calling non-uniform days “mufti” days.

If you really wanted to know, why didn't you ask her instead of thousands of random people on Mumsnet?

Yeah. I would call it “regional”. Regional to England: for the reasons I explained in my previous post.

Never heard mufti day, in the south west.

I always read emails but don't always register the dates things are happening so I've had a couple of 'crap the fayre is today' type realisations. Agree it's weird to not know something is going on at all if there's been multiple emails but I can't really judge. I once took ds to school on an inset day, even though I had read the email.

Scotland. Mufti would raise a laugh in these parts. Muff is slang for lady garden. Mufti wouldn’t last a second without a giggle here.

I was hit with the following today alone - three texts, a blog post and three password protected google docs between two kids. Three letters from guides, two kit lists for upcoming trips, two bank transfers to pay for stuff, an orienteering form that needs cold hard cash and a google form for a leavers hoodie thing that needs submitted and paid for.

Thats an hour of admin right there.

School fayre is happening between now and the summer break.

When?? I have zero clue.

Its harder work than employment at times.

Mufti was always not in uniform be that school or army etc. Maybe not understood these days. It was definitely universal.

It’s used in some areas of wales too, I hadn’t heard of it until i went to university.

Dress down here is the last Friday of the month.

Kids know when it’s dress down but can’t tell you when it’s parents assembly for example.

Kids never miss a chance for non uniform.

I grew up in the SE and we always called them tag days. I didn’t hear the term mufti day until I started working in a London school.

I have definitely been that parent, especially if I’m overloaded at work or been in the middle of a run of nightshifts. Also juggling more than one school, multiple apps any emails between schools, multiple different job roles (so more than full time) and kids doing competitive sport and all the admin that is part of the territory with that.

Also our school sends out shedloads of emails to the point that I quite often delete them without reading any (unless they are to do with the curriculum ). Interestingly, high school communicates in a much more effective manner, (all via app and in one place)

It’s easy to judge but you really have no idea what other pressure she is under with work / personal life / other stuff. Not everyone has the bandwidth to be that focussed on school admin

I don’t get it either but I’m a massive planner with school calendar, important dates highlighted, on the kitchen notice board. Some people just aren’t like that, there is always one posting on the school Facebook asking what the kids go back in September etc when we’ve been told a billion times

I am in the south east and have three children in primary school and have never heard the term mufti! Is it an acronym?

How many dads have you been “baffled” to discover don’t know about it, OP?

It's mufti day you weirdos 😜

Imagine calling it "non-uniform day" how boring and unimaginative is that? "Oh. yay. I am so excited for non uniform day"

It's just you. Lots of people, for lots of reasons aren't always on top of school stuff.

You could have asked her why she didn't know if you found it that surprising.

I’ve never heard of mufti either

we just call it own clothes day

simple 😂

but yes the amount of parents who haven’t a clue about stuff. Tho mainly as seem cba to read the emails or weekly newsletter

im class rep so I out important stuff on the wats app group and many say thanks (I don’t do it for thanks) just feel for the kids who go to school in uniform or don’t take in a cake , cardboard box or whatever item is needed

so a gentle nudge /reminder helps

but the amount of times people ask - is it pe today or what’s for lunch - when it’s been the same bloody day every week for pe since start of year (Sept) and the menu is on the group

Soldiers not in uniform were in mufti.... Certainly used a lot in WW2.

My kid attends an east London prep, at which 80% of the pupils are of Indian/Pakistani heritage.

Unsurprisingly, nobody in leadership in his school’s using the term “mufti”.

It has happened to me occasionally in the last year or two - the combination of menopause, cancer stress, chemotherapy and ADHD has made it a miracle that I even know my own name half the time! (Not to mention having 2 kids with SN.)

The difference is that if I showed up at school and there was a fayre on I’d be more likely to go oh good grief, another thing I’ve forgotten, rather than accusing anyone of keeping it a secret from me 😉