Is this fair?

[notgivinga]

One of my nieces was getting married later in the summer, but last week it was all called off.
she had a hen party booked abroad and everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost.
she has now written in the group that she is so sorry but they all need to pay a cancellation fee of just under £100.
Do you think this fair. Just as an aside the wedding is off as she was texting other men.
BTW it’s not me going but my daughter

She can’t go on the holiday unless everyone pays the full cost. You can’t just pay an individual’s part of a group booking. It’s all or nothing

The bride needs to refund all the deposits. Not ask for even more money.

If it was off because he’d been texting other women I’d be inclined to suck it up but this one is all her own doing

Why not? She cancelled the wedding (or her future husband did, for obvious reasons). And hens already pay for a trip and now they have to pay cancellation fee, but they're not the one who cancelled? Yes, the bride should be responsible.

I meant by going OP will still spend more money.Wasnt saying she shouldn’t go

I'd cough up if someone else had booked on behalf of the bride . they shouldn't lose out , but Surely the £100 loss should come out of each persons £300 deposit . (which means there's a £200 per person refund due )

The bride should have taken out insurance on the trip!

This. Bet she’s in debt up to her eyeballs.

I voted UANBU but honestly I then read your further posts and completely changed my mind, you are being unreasonable
I can see you’ve had a large trauma, and you’ve fought hard and honestly I applaud your resilience and truly believe some (if not the majority) of the money is yours to keep.
but to not want it to benefit the family at all is baffling, I mean if it was just 5k fair but 200+k for yourself, on a hobby and clothes, no come on that’s life changing money down the drain really.

your husband (rightly so because of childcare etc) pays more into the household but you’ve said so yourself your a great team, this isn’t being a great team. You could put some aside for family and still have a huge amount to yourself. Could 50k (or even less not be family money and then £150k + be for you I mean that’s still a lot of clothes and hobby stuff!

@Xcxlxn have you posted on the right thread? That sounds like a response to the lady that wanted to keep all of her compensation to herself rather than this post which is about an ex bride demanding more money to cancel a hen do.

OP, years ago my husbands brother and fiancé announced they were getting married in the Caribbean. We were all very excited and so they gathered up names and deposits and booked all those that wanted to go.

Just a few weeks later, the bride to be’s grandmother had a serious health issue and they weren’t sure if she would be around til the wedding and certainly wouldn’t have been able to travel abroad for it. So they cancelled the wedding abroad and rebooked somewhere local much sooner.

They paid back everyone their full deposits out of their own pockets. There wasn’t even a question about who should lose the money. This was a situation completely out of the of hands too, so not as if it was something they had control over.

The ex bride in your situation is a massive CF. She should be paying them all back their lost deposits as well as any additional costs due. However, I don’t believe any more money is due, it’s more likely the holiday company is saying they will only refund £200 of the £300 deposit per person. Who in their right mind is going to pay more? Think about it - if you book a holiday with a deposit and it comes to the due date for the balance… if you don’t pay it they cancel the holiday and keep your deposit. They don’t come after you for more money!

Do not let your daughter send a penny to that woman. She is scamming her and her friends. Who does that?

She needs to pay the cancellation fee then pay everyone off the money they've lost.

Of course it isn’t fair but what else can she do. Someone has to pay, your daughter agreed to go in the hen and presumably the bride herself can’t afford to pay for everyone’s cancellation. I’m afraid it’s just one of things where you have to pay up and forget about it.

Sorry misread. No one should be paying an additional £100. That’s why you pay a deposit. Seems that the original £300 is list though.

Surely thats what the deposit is for? I thibk if your daughter is expected to pay she shpuld be shown the paperwork

@notgivinga Why is your daughter so concerned about keeping the bride and her family happy when she’s +£300 out of pocket because of the bride’s actions?

Have you spoken to your nice / her parents since the cancellation? Would you be in a more comfortable position to point out the cheek here (as your daughter clearly needs to see an example of someone doing this)?

Rather than cancelling, is a holiday change an option and paying name change fee? Does anyone in the group want to use the booking towards a summer holiday maybe?

Did you miss the part where the wedding is cancelled because the bride was unfaithful? It’s all the brides fault, she bought it on herself. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Just a quick update the bride cancelled the hen do and then told everyone. It’s a block booking so I don’t think they can go without them all going as it would mean a change of booking. Also it’s another £ 250 each for them to go. My daughter never actually wanted to visit the place that was booked and was only going to keep the older sister of the bride company.
and just as an aside the bride has messaged today and asked can everyone pay the cancellation fee ! So far my daughter had ignored the message CFuckery at its best I think

Keep ignoring her. What a cheeky sod

To be honest, that was a bit of a knee jerk reaction. Why did she not just have a girls holiday with her people?!

I would go back and say no sorry. We have already lost however much it was because of her behaviour getting the wedding cancelled.

I would say you want the deposit back or you'll take her to small claims court

I would say that the bride should reimburse the cost that all the hens have lost due to her behaviour, to have the cheek to expect people to pay more is total fuckery, l would tell her in no uncertain terms what to do, cf.

I think I understood that you were saying she should not tell the bride to cover it herself? Maybe you mistyped it, cause I have seen you edited the post. I think we are on the same page :-)