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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this fair?

190 replies

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:15

One of my nieces was getting married later in the summer, but last week it was all called off.
she had a hen party booked abroad and everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost.
she has now written in the group that she is so sorry but they all need to pay a cancellation fee of just under £100.
Do you think this fair. Just as an aside the wedding is off as she was texting other men.
BTW it’s not me going but my daughter

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 01/05/2026 14:35

I think I would rather go than lose more money and have no holiday

Original poster
notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:36

It’s awkward for them all to go as my daughter was only going to keep the bride (not to be)sister company as they are older. I think my daughter will have to pay it as she doesn’t want to upset the family. I’m glad you all think it’s cheeky but yes there is a cancellation fee as it has been checked out online.

OP posts:
Winnieis · 01/05/2026 14:40

What exactly is the cancellation fee for? Hotel? Flights? Package holiday? Something else?

StandOutSpace · 01/05/2026 14:41

But why is it awkward to still go? Has everyone fallen out with the bride?

I have gone on a girls holiday that was supposed to be a hen do. Different circs it was the groom to be who called it off. But still why cant they go?

Cosyblankets · 01/05/2026 14:41

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:36

It’s awkward for them all to go as my daughter was only going to keep the bride (not to be)sister company as they are older. I think my daughter will have to pay it as she doesn’t want to upset the family. I’m glad you all think it’s cheeky but yes there is a cancellation fee as it has been checked out online.

I'm guessing the cancellation fee will be because it's after the cut off point of 10 weeks or something

MyCottageGarden · 01/05/2026 14:42

If there’s a deposit then there should not be a bloody cancellation fee! Tell your DD not to pay another penny!

JLou08 · 01/05/2026 14:44

It's not the hens that cancelled the wedding, they shouldn't be paying any cancellation fee. There should also be consideration to the trip still going ahead as a holiday so people don't lose their deposits.

Backedoffhackedoff · 01/05/2026 14:45

It depends on who is stuck paying the cancellation fee. If it’s some random hen then they can’t leave her to pay it, no.

if it’s the bride maybe. They could still go presumably?

Original poster
notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:47

The booking is in the hens name but it was booked with love holidays with easyJet flights .

OP posts:
BellaVita · 01/05/2026 14:48

The niece needs to be paying the cancellation fee. This is all down to her.

PeopleLikeColdplayYouCantTrustPeopleJez · 01/05/2026 14:51

Up to your daughter but no not fair at all and I would be ghosting that request/instruction especially as the wedding being called off is the brides own bloody fault. Bride can figure this one out. Either that or as others have said, go on the holiday anyway.

GreenHay · 01/05/2026 14:53

What was the full cost of the holiday each.

Not Bride should pay.

And why should your daughter be worried about family fallout- Not Bride should be worried!

dcsp · 01/05/2026 15:08

To clarify, do you mean:

  1. Whatever company the £300 deposit was paid to is only refunding £200, so people will be out £100/head
  2. She has paid out money over and above the deposit so wants another £100/head from people

If it's (2), it's obviously unreasonable.

If it's (1), the right thing for her to do would be to refund the £100 that the company won't refund, but it's fair IMO for her to not have the money right now and so to promise to give people it later.

WallaceinAnderland · 01/05/2026 15:08

everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost

No way would I be forking out another £100 on top of this.

VivX · 01/05/2026 15:10

The un-bride was texting other men, which caused the cancellation.
Un-bride is asking people to pay £100 on top of the £300 they've already lost. So, every will be £400 down entirely to due un-bride's actions.

And yet it's your niece who is worried about family upset?

Er, nope.
(Un-bride is a CF and needs to cover the cost herself and not mention anything more about this entirely avoidable self-inflicted problem she has brought upon herself)

Balloonhearts · 01/05/2026 15:17

I wouldn't pay and I'd be expecting the £300 back as well, since it's her cheating that is to blame.

user7463246787 · 01/05/2026 15:27

Oh, tricky.
I think if it is a poor bridesmaid stuck liable for the bill I’d pay it, begrudgingly.

If it’s the bride on the hook, well she’s made her own bed…
Agree it’s a good idea to turn it into a girls holiday.

Shinyandnew1 · 01/05/2026 15:34

I wouldn’t be paying £400 for a non-holiday!

HughManity · 01/05/2026 15:38

I think my daughter will have to pay it as she doesn’t want to upset the family.
The brides family is more important than your daughter and they get to choose how her money is spent?

Kitt1 · 01/05/2026 15:38

Wow. The ex bride is a massive CF.

She took a risk booking the hen do abroad and asking her friends and family to cover their own flight and accommodation costs so the least she can do is cover the cancellation fee.

Itiswhysofew · 01/05/2026 15:43

Not a chance would I pay it & I'd be asking for my deposit back as well. She has to take responsibility for her actions which have lead to wasting people's money. What an absolute liberty.

Livpool · 01/05/2026 15:45

It’s the (not actually) bride’s problem and fault so she can pay it. I’m a soft touch and a pushover and even I wouldn’t pay the £100.

RomeWasVisitedInADay · 01/05/2026 15:45

I think everyone else has said it all really. If the holiday is in her name and she organised it and she screwed it all up due to her immoral actions then she should pay the cancellation fee. I think everyone accepts if they have to pay a deposit there is a chance they might not get it back due to unforeseen circumstances (illness, weather, cheating brides etc.) but she cancelled the wedding due to her actions so she pays the cancellation fee.

But where were they going that the deposit was £300 each? How many of them were there?!

VivX · 01/05/2026 15:48

VivX · 01/05/2026 15:10

The un-bride was texting other men, which caused the cancellation.
Un-bride is asking people to pay £100 on top of the £300 they've already lost. So, every will be £400 down entirely to due un-bride's actions.

And yet it's your niece who is worried about family upset?

Er, nope.
(Un-bride is a CF and needs to cover the cost herself and not mention anything more about this entirely avoidable self-inflicted problem she has brought upon herself)

Edited

Sorry.. should have said: "and yet it is your daughter who is worried" (not niece - who is the CF in this situation)

Tableforjoan · 01/05/2026 15:52

The bride should really be covering everyone’s lost costs.

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