DH has just revealed that he has nothing to show from 30k inheritance

[Booboomylove]

My DH and I have been together for 5.5 years and married for just over 6 months. We both own our homes and he moved in with me after a year together. His house is currently rented out. I like to think that I’m quite good with money eg getting the best mortgage rate etc, however he has ‘owned’ his home since 2006 and only ever had an interest only mortgage, on a variable rate which has sky rocketed over the last few years. The house is now rented out which at least covers the mortgage and we are going to cut losses and sell.
Last night we were talking about inheritance as a blended family and he said he thought it would go 3 ways between his adult DS, my teenage DD and his DS’s son (age 8). I said no that’s not right, your grandson will get his inheritance via your son, I didn’t get anything directly from my grandparents, did you? DH said yes 15 years ago I got 30k from my Nan!
We have been together 5+ years and I didn’t know this, also we have always discussed how skint we’ve been in the past and it’s like a shared experience that we are respectful of.

Anyway, he is refusing to tell me what happened to the 30k, he says it’s none of my business whereas I think it is something I ought to know about him as his wife eg is he an absolute idiot with money? He’s gone to bed in a mood.

Whatever he inherited and spent before he even met you isn't really your concern. But I think any inheritance to your own child should be a fair split rather than more going to his side of the family than there is to yours

30,000 isn’t a massive amount of money. It was 15 years ago. Why is it any of your business? Why on earth would he be including your DC in his will. It’s also none of your business if he wants to support his grandchildren/nephew or Johnny from the corner shop from his will.
Crazy.
Why you consider leaving anything to his side either.

I think you were bonkers to marry someone who has done nothing to really secure ownership of his own home (having an interest only mortgage with no plan to pay it off), has blown his inheritance and thinks his child and grandchild should derive more benefit from your money (and let's face it, it will be your money since he's spent all his) than your daughter!

I'd divorce this one while the ink in the marriage certificate is still wet and he can't make a big claim on your assets.

It is very strange that he actually thinks his ds (and ds son) should get 2/3 and your dd only 1/3. When he is not contributing anything it seems? Give your dd everything, I think he is a freeloader who saw you as a good financial catch.

1. he’s absolutely right, it’s none of your business and he doesn’t owe you an explanation.

2. I’d be interested to know if you’re also leaving 50% of your wealth to his son? I don’t see why you don’t leave your share to your son and his share to his child. You’ve only been together 5 years, I don’t think that’s long enough to sacrifice half your wealth to your step children.

You can have holidays in the UK you know, you don't need a passport to nip upto Scotland, go to Blackpool, rent a little cottage in Wales etc

Not sure why you think you can stipulate what he leaves in his will. You're OK for your dd to be included but not his grandson. Delightful.

Plenty of people receive inheritance from grandparents.

He spent the money before he was with you. None of your business

Most respectfully, none of your business. What exactly fo you want to see of 30k inheriteeld 15 years ago?

Talking to a proper wills adviser is the most sensible way here.
Normal, no special rules (the cat gets the house and the premium bonds scenario), usually next of kin to keep it simple.
Our son gets everything, although if he died before we do (his sister has) any living descendants are entitled in equal measure (atm, his son).

My grandmother did leave her post office savings books her granddaughters (my brother, the only grandson got nothing). Five of us got £35 each in 1984.

OPs partners own inheritance isn’t the issue, other than he clearly didn’t use it wisely perhaps. My husband’s inheritance was spent on a Lambretta he couldn’t afford and promptly wrote it off.

I think in this case it probably is none of your business unfortunately. It may be he wants to protect the money he got before you and has it in a seperate account somewhere or it may be he blew it all and is embarrassed to admit to it. Either way if you weren't around at the time it's within his rights to keep the info to himself. That said I would be keeping an eye out for any red flags regarding finances that do directly involve you. Also it's worth remembering that some ppl aren't great with money and that doesn't necessarily make them bad ppl, we all have different skills.

They each have one child and DH also has a grandchild. It should be split 50 50 between the DC.

I’m not surprised it’s spent as it’s not a huge sum of money, however odd he won’t tell you what he did with it.

I inherited 30k and it all went on overdraft , bills , credit card and nothing nice but it was great to clear bills and pay off things that had been hanging over me

i had fantasy of holidays and extensions but cost of living and bills in 6 months - 1 year

unless he has a drug or gambling or spending problem id not worry

They have one each … but regardless, it’s 50/50 between each parent and they leave to their respective children!!

I’m intrigued to know what proportion of your will his child is set to receive given you’re so opinionated on his?
Personally I wouldn’t expect a step parent to provide for my children, and I certainly wouldn’t expect them to prioritise my children over their own, or their grandchildren.
Your child could potentially receive inheritance from 3 parents/step parents, whilst his child gets half of his inheritance. That doesn’t seem fair at all.

None of your business.
If he chooses to blow it all on drinking his way round the world it's only a waste if he didn't enjoy it. I don't give a shit what you would do with yours. He's not obligated to tell you anything especially if you give him that attitude.

I find it strange that you're talking about inheritance after only 6 months of being married, and that you think you can tell him who he leaves money to. Very odd and does not bode well.

Talking about wills after marriage and whe
contemplating merging even more assets is perfectly reasonable.

I took OP’s post to mean that whoever died first would leave to the other and then the second to die should provide for both offspring in their will. Rather than her “telling him” how to leave his money.

Ten years before you got together OP, no he doesn’t need to tell you that.

Well said. It’s the kind of money that can improve life in a decent way/take pressure off but won’t necessarily last very long and won’t massively change it altogether.

You're not entitled to an explanation, but I would find it odd that he insists on keeping it a complete secret, not even saying something like "I was young and broke and I'm afraid I spent it on immediate needs or wants; I'd do different now but the bottom line is it was all gone before I even met you". But if he otherwise seems responsible and honest now I wouldn't keep insisting on details.

He is, of course, being ridiculous about the three way split if the two of you agreed to combine assets and leave them equally to your offspring. It should be a two-way split, assuming there's no chance of additional children. Some people do leave specific behests to grandchildren, but it's typically either a named amount rather than a percent (so the grandchild is not a stakeholder/owner of the estate and doesn't have to be consulted every step of the way as the estate is settled) or held in trust for a minor (if the will-maker doesn't believe their child will provide for the grandchild - but that would come out of their child's share).

The inheritance is none of your business and you need to write a will otherwise your child could be disinherited.

I got 10k when grandparents passed. It’s not come up in convo yet with new partner nor do I think it’s any of his business if he was to ask how I spent it. Different if I inherited whilst together.
I do agree that if you are now blended that you may see that his son will get his half and then his child after he passes but you could always leave a token amount to grandchildren and that would include if your daughter had children

Wtf?!?! He thinks his family should get 66% and your‘s 33%? If what assets? Because it seems like the only asset is YOUR house. You need to make sure you speak to your solicitor to protect your house and ensure it remains your child‘s inheritance.

These days that amount would probably only get a car and a couple of holidays or maybe he spent on something for his house. I don't think you can say much as it is money he was given prior to meeting you.