How many people have you slept with?

[Fearlesssloth]

…and do you lie about it? I’m late 30s, 4 or 5 relationships, most 1-2 years, been married now for 6 years. I’ve slept with around 50 people (I know cos I made a list once!) Only 1 or 2 were ‘true’ one night stands. I know that’s a lot but I refuse to be ashamed of it, I had a lot of fun in my youth. When I was dating before my husband I never admitted it to anyone I was dating. I’d always say less than 10. So how many people have you slept with and do you freely admit it or do you reduce the number a lot if asked by people you’re dating or were dating before if you’re in a relationship? And how do you feel about the number?

Why is this being asked??

Same here, but we've now been together 40 years. Second boyfriend, first only lasted a few months and we didn't go "all the way".

Snap

10 and I don't lie about it. My DH is fully aware as we did talk about it once but he didn't care either.

Does it matter?

do you know how many people your husband has slept with? And do you think he’s being honest?

I couldn’t care less as long as it was genuinely a choice, not some trauma response (hugs to @Namechangetheyarewatching ) and they took care of their sexual health.

mine is low because I don’t like people enough, I cba with all the health stuff that goes with it, sorting contraceptives, std protection etc, and I was always too cautious for night stands- taking people home/going home with a stranger is not my thing.

so generally I only had sex in a relationship where I felt safe enough.

no judgement on anyone who chooses differently though.

I have no idea, a lot though! My husband’s number is probably pretty low as he met his 1st wife when he was 18, split up at 29 and met me at 31. Whereas I had a fun-filled time during most of my late teens and 20s. He doesn’t care about mine and I don’t care about his.

Sorry to hear you had this happen to you, just awful.

One!
I’m in my 20s and have been with the same person since I was 18. He’s also only ever slept with me, but even if he slept with more people it wouldn’t have bothered me!

If you are ok with the number and it hasn't compromised your sexual, physical and mental health why does the number of people you have had sex with matter to you?
Providing also that the sex was consensual.

I'm bemused by the fact people actually keep count and make lists. Comes over as the notches on the bedpost mentality that used to be prevelant in some men and which is distinctly unattractive.

Either they'd need an incredibly sharp memory, or you have a totally unique vulva that they'd never come across (pun intended) during the 50+ years after they'd slept with you.

Why would a man need to be Ok with anything a woman chooses to do with her own body before being with him? Do mens body counts get asked and evaluated?

Yes my husband knows. No he doesn’t give a shit. And I wouldn’t give a shit, if he did give a shit because bizarrely my Fanny doesn’t belong to him.

I can't imagine being with someone who could care less about how many people I have slept with.

My OH has never asked me, I've never asked him.

Haha whoops! 😅

I’m 53 and slept with roughly 50 people but I’ve never dated someone who asked me about it. I wouldn’t lie but I’d want to know why they thought it was their business and I’d still not tell them regardless. It’s something that’s private to me and the people I slept with.

OMFG! 😂

I'm ashamed of how very small my number is.

Does it matter if he does?
I've had fifty and I'm seventy.

Good for you for taking that comment in the spirit it was made, (just gentle ribbing!)

No need to be ashamed.

3 including my DH

I am 51 and got together with my DH at age 25.

DH and I have never discussed our numbers but I suspect his number is much larger than mine.

I have answered.

I think there is some naivety on hereto be honest.

Age 49 and 3. Married 26 years. Nobody asks.