This is off isn't it?

[coulditbeme2323]

Husband and I loaned another couple a significant amount of money as if we didn't their dream home would have fallen through. All properly drawn up, and to be fair was for a short period of time as in just under 3 months.

All paid back two weeks ago as agreed (no interest by the way as it might matter) and friend text saying we want to take you our to dinner to say thanks.

Didn't expect or want that, but lovely gesture.

Went to a very nice place Saturday and other husband said to my husband I'll get the food and you get the wine/drinks. Now to put into context the wine/drinks were about 35% of the bill so other couple paid 65%.

Now it's not the money, and it was a lovely evening, and I would never mention to my friend, but is that a bit cheeky?

If somebody says they are taking you out to treat you as a thank you, my expectation would be that they are picking up the full bill. So yes, cheeky of them to be honest. You didn’t ask nor expect them to take you out, it was a kind gesture in return for the extremely kind gesture that you did for them.

What is there to misunderstand about inviting someone for a meal as a thank you and then deciding you're not going to pay for the whole meal.

To be honest, they borrowed money, which they did repay, because they were short of cash, so the thank you dinner with you paying for drinks, wasn’t that bad or totally to be unexpected.
We regularly have to turn down family get togethers, as we just haven’t the cash to pay our way, or divide a large bill.

If someone offers to take you out specifically to say thank you then I would say the expectation would be that they pay.

Yes I think if you take someone out for dinner you pay the whole bill. However if they are good friends I wouldn’t get too upset about it. They paid the larger part of the bill and they have paid you back within the time expected. I would assume they wanted to say thank you and enjoy your company but perhaps they are still short of money and it was the best they could do at the moment without skimping on the wine!

Terrible form. We rented a house out to a couple of friends who were in between house purchases. Not only did they leave the house better than they found it (loved interior design and spent their own money doing so) but took us out for a meal after they moved out and paid in full. These were paying tenants who owed us nothing.

Yeah, it’s really cheeky.

She shouldn’t have said they want to take you out for food. She should’ve just asked if you all wanted to go out for a meal, then there would be no expectation that they would pay.

Definitely cheeky

AKA as decent friends and people!

Sorry tagged the wrong quote, should’ve been @TutTutTutSigh

The worst part is that down the line they will remember is as 'they took you out' and forget the part where you paid for the drinks. Really sad to see people with money behave like this. Maybe that's how they get rich in the first place!

You did them a massive favour. They were being miserly by passing you the drinks tab.

It would give me the ick for our future friendship for sure!

They weren’t short of cash, they had a cash flow timing issue that was presumably resolved by the time they went for dinner.

Yes. Cheeky.

This. My god.

The thing is I don't think its intentionally cheeky because they didn't need to invite them out at all. I think it's more that on the night it just got turned into more of a regular meal out rather than a full treat somehow. Possibly partly due to inebriation?

But they did pay for more than half.

Am I the only one wondering why you give a shit about 35% of a restaurant bill when you have substantially north of 100k spare to loan out??

I would get a grip with how fortunate you are 😳

You don't invite someone out for dinner and expect them to pay, under any circumstances.

Absolutely, and we'd have done the same if the situation was reversed.

I'd say the poster who accused the OP of being "grabby" is wondering the same.

Being fortunate doesn't mean you have to be happy with people treating you shabbily. You yourself are probably more fortunate than a lot of people in the world. But I bet that doesn't stop you being annoyed if someone is rude to you or doesn't pay their fair share or takes you for granted.

I would raise an eyebrow but wouldn’t make a Mumsnet post - maybe that makes me the weird one but if the money could disappear from my account without me even noticing, I wouldn’t be rethinking 20 years of friendship over it!

They should absolutely have paid the whole bill. Without you they wouldn’t have the house and you didn’t charge them interest. They’re cheeky fuckers!

I went to one wedding like this and wish I hadn't bothered. Made so much effort to get there and gave a generous gift. Then to be charged for drinks at the bar was urrgh. Not even a big drinker.

What your friends did was odd. Depends on how badly you want to know why. You could always ask the wife? Regardless at the moment, there's a shift in the relationship. You may or may not be able to look past it.

Ive read OPs posts and cant see its been mentioned - was this asked BEFORE ordering or after?

If before then its kind of on you that the drinks bill went as high as it did

Awful, never heard of such odd behaviour. I think they are mad.