POSSIBLE DV PLEASE HELP. DISTURBING MESSAGE FROM FRIEND

[Hilary101]

I just had a disturbing crying phone call and text from my friend. I don’t know what to do.

My friend, 22 became really sick few years ago. Had to quit sixth form. Couldn’t work. Doctors don’t know what’s wrong with her, they can’t find anything. She’s been having many tests. She cant/struggling to cook, shower, walk much. Fainting a lot. So far they only diagnosed her with POTS but she is fighting for more tests.

she moved in with her mother who’s been financially supporting her. She hasn’t applied for any disability benefits as she is undiagnosed and she was told pots is not really considered a real or severe enough illness.

She shared her mother has been abusive. She switches from overly sweet and nice to other times throwing things at her, screaming at her, insulting her, swearing at her, etc and there were a few times she has hit her, punched her, kicked her and pulled her hair.

btw her mother, her ex husband also cut contact from her as she was abusive towards him.

today I call her and she is crying saying she can’t take it anymore she wants to die. And sends me a photo of her hand that is covered in scratches.

her mother attacked her again and left her hand in scratches.

she has zero other family.

what should I do? This is all so horrible and I don’t even know what to reply. She lives in east London btw, Redbridge.

Mmm.

@Hilary101 if this is a message you feel everyone should have, why not put it on the thread. You feel it’s important presumably.

Is everyone leaving comment saying my thread is fake and I’m making things up when I’m desperate to help my friend or just that user?

I didn't respond. I blocked and switched off private messaging. A function I had forgotten existed.
Owt to say, say it on here.

I'm going to bed. 👋

People have been scammed here before unfortunately.

You have got as much help as you need tonight.

It’s good that people are wary of a complete stranger.

DMing people is never good unless you have asked on the thread. It looks suspicious and people then think there is something going on.

If you think she shouldn’t put comments you feel will prevent people from helping then why not put it on the thread for everyone?

I had that happen to me once. A poster started messaging me explaining what their issue with their partner was instead of just putting it on the post. You aren’t going to have a good result from that are you?

I reached out to them asking to please think before accusing others of trolling.

said I don’t appreciate accusations of trolling when I’m desperate to help my friend.

people see comments such as fake thread and this leaves people not wanting to to leave advice.

i really value and desperately need people’s help of here, I’m shaken up myself after seeing her in that state and hearing what her mum did.

I was also going to show this thread to my friend tomorrow. As she has been blaming herself saying she deserved it. I was going to show her this thread saying look how many people agree this isn’t right. You are a victim. Hoping this convinces her to talk to police.

im also desperate for advice on what to do next.

i even offered that user to send pic of my friends hand id she doesn’t believe.

i was hoping they were genuinely thinking its fake trying to warn people but looks like they are just a heartless troll.

She did not message any more than the two messages I posted verbatim.

I’m saying to start DMing people is not good. If you want to do it and justify it then crack on. But it will never go down well. It’s not helping your friend is it?

Gently, you need to take initiative and report to police asap. If your friend talked about ending her life and wanted you to keep a secret about death threats, she is not able to make the best decisions for herself.

I suspected not!

I did it because I thought about sending her a pic of my friends hand if she wanted to for proof

i didn’t want to post her hand on main thread.

but yes it wasn’t a good idea

You said you had offered to send a photo, not that you’d thought about it.

i even offered that user to send pic of my friends hand id she doesn’t believe.

You didn't message anymore than the two posts I've quoted verbatim. No mention of photos. Mumsnet will know, they have access even to private messaging.

screenshots

Why are you lying when I have screenshots?

You do not have the resources to keep her safe.

It is more important to call police and other services than to try to convince Mumsnet posters.

Why are you not with your friend or making these calls instead of on here?

Maybe unplug, have a cup of sweet tea or something comforting and take a breath. Mumsnet is not a substitute for self care. It will not give you the strength you need. You have all the resources on this thread already 💐

Riiiiiight.

here

I blocked you after the second message. Ask Mumsnet where they went.

Let it go. 💐 Be present to yourself and for your friend.

Surely you should be with your friend rather than trying to prove a point, which no-one cares about, on MN???

She’s sleeping

Ideal time to have a chat with police. They can be very helpful.

Then you need to contact the Police.