AIBU for leaving a cafe after my baby was sick?

[Angrycafe]

I was out with DD (2m) and DH earlier at a cafe. DH had to leave 5 minutes before I did with DD because he was running late to meet his friend to watch football.

As I was getting my belongings together, DD was sick everywhere, including on the floor. I was really flustered and quickly left, making sure the immediate area (the table) was clear but admittedly didn’t clean the floor.

A woman (staff) hurried out of the cafe after me and started ranting about a lack of respect and that I wouldn’t be welcome back. I just burst out into tears.

I wish in hindsight I had cleaned it, by I was flustered and in a mess. Am I terrible for doing this?

You should have told the staff and apologised. If you had offered to clean it up they probably would have said they would do it themselves. But the fact you said nothing and did a runner was pretty bad form.

I kind of felt sorry for the OP to start with. But given the nasty comments about the woman, and defending herself about them, perhaps it’s best to leave her alone.

She said she didn’t call her DH back as he deserved to have fun, not necessarily because he was too far away. So he couldn’t be expected to do it when there was a perfectly goor cafe worker who could deal with it.

All you had to do OP was say “ I’m really sorry, the baby has been sick. Have you got some wipes and spray I can use to clean it up”

Then the cafe worker would have said “Oh, I hope the baby is OK, don’t worry about the sick, we’ll sort it out for you”

Then you would have said something like “That’s so kind of you, I am so sorry to leave you to it, but I think I need to get the baby home and changed. thanks again.”

No need to rush out, no need for the cafe worker to chase after you, no need for your partners nasty remark (btw let’s hope you lose your baby weight soon, he obviously doesn’t like fatties) just a civilised conversation between adults.

Your dh may not have actually called her fat, but it was clearly implied by you that was what he meant and how you understood what he had meant.

I really do hope you turn up tomorrow and apologise for 1. leaving the sick to be cleaned up and 2. for being flustered and in a mess making you unable to even think about a. cleaning up and b. to let staff know there had been an accident.

Absolutely fine for you to feel that way. Crack on.

I couldn't imagine not cleaning it up.
Babies do this all the time, it's normal for them to have a bit of a chuck often in less than appropriate settings but out of reflex I'd have wiped it up.

Forget about it and move on.

You're 8 weeks postpartum.

Give yourself a break hon. 💐

Sorry but it's gross and equally gross those who think you can clean it up with a few baby wipes. What if it's norovirus? Wipe it up and now you've hidden it and someone will sit there and a staff member won't know there's germs. Better to go straight and report it, they have protocols for dealing with it properly. Hope your baby is ok.

Working in a cafe I once had to clean up sick from a teenage boy who was with his mates. Wasn't the nicest thing to do but I certainly didn't berate him for leaving it. Cleaning up body fluids requires certain procedures, you can't just use a wet mop or some napkins.

You and your DH are gross.

Apples to oranges.
(and way to shit-kick a new mum) 👍

Jesus Christ. You run off and leave her to clean up your shit and he thinks it’s appropriate to sneer at her size?
Neither of you come out of this well.
Shameful.

I was on your side until I read your husband made a joke about another woman’s body and you claimed it made you feel better.

New mum or not, it’s actually disgusting to leave baby sick all over the floor without even a mention to the staff. Put yourself in her shoes. No one goes to work at their probably minimum wage, on their feet all day job and expects to clean up another woman’s kids vomit. The least you could have done was apologise or offer to clean it up.

The fact you also said you wouldn’t be comfortable going back after the way she spoke to you?! What did you expect, honestly?

Agree. Don’t know why everyone is being so kind. OP and her husband sound horrible.

Being a new mum is no excuse - most of the women on Mumsnet have been there and Im fairly certain that the vast majority wouldn’t have just walked out of a cafe without saying a word and leaving their baby vomit on the floor.

I’ve worked in several cafes and restaurants over many years.

Occasionally we have had incidents with poorly children and babies.

We had a family in and the Mum came rushing up asking for napkins as her little boy had been sick all across the table. He looked dreadful, poor lad, but his Mum and I cleaned up and all was fine. No issue at all. I felt sorry for them as the youngster was very pale and obviously not well.

Second incident was the complete opposite with 2 young women with a baby in one of our high chairs. They were shovelling all manner of food down him, and eventually he brought it all back up! In the time it took to go and get cloths and hot water, they had disappeared leaving me with an awful mess on the floor, chair, table and high chair😡

Id much rather someone say, could you help me please, my baby’s been sick - than just run out and leave me with the mess.

You should have asked for help in cleaning up, OP. Not a good move to leave the staff to do it.

At the very minimum, you tell the staff, not just leave it. You did behave badly, so not surprised she was grumpy with you, but I think we've all been in situations where we sometimes haven't made the best call when flustered. Learn from it and move on and do differently next time.

Crikey! You’re a charmer!

You “leg it” when your child was sick everywhere and also leave a shop having damaged cakes so they can’t be sold - and don’t offer to pay for the loss???

Thank goodness I no longer work with the public…

People like you give decent people a bad name. So selfish.

Except you of course, you and your husband are nasty.

One day that will be you, you know. Right now, it's funny, reassuring even, to hear your own husband talk down about women who you don't think are as attractive as you are. It made you feel better because you know you've 'still got it' and he's going to keep picking you.

One day, my love, you won't 'still got it'. You'll be older and not as pretty as you are now, maybe you'll put on weight too or experience an injury or illness that affects the way you present. There'll be plenty of beautiful young slim women out there and you'll look at them and KNOW he's looking too and comparing you unfavourably to them, because he's already shown you that's the kind of man he is. You won't be so smug then, will you?

Aww, I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s tough when you’re a new mum and you have these stressful experiences. You clearly feel bad, have learnt from it and won’t let it happen again. Me personally, I wouldn’t have left baby sick. But try not to let it get you down too much 💐

I would be offering to clean it up myself.
My child power vomitted in a shop
I was told the assistants job was to clean it i was mortified .

I had sympathy for you until I read this comment. Sympathy retracted.

All you needed to do was go to the counter/staff member and say ‘apologies, my baby has been sick in the area we were sitting in’. And leave.

Don’t volunteer to clean it as that’s not possible. It needs to be cleaned with correct cleaning supplies you won’t have in your handbag. That means buckets, mops, gloves etc. You can’t do this as once you do it’s a liability nightmare all round. You don’t work there so you should not be doing any cleaning duties. If you slip while mopping or lose balance and bump your head while trying to scrape vomit up on floor, it ends in a pickle for everyone. Don’t put yourself OR the business in this situation (no matter how woeful a ranting business owner or store manager may be with you not cleaning up - and don’t explain why to them either, it’s utter 101 stuff and if they are that legally ignorant then it’s their problem, not yours to explain).