AIBU for leaving a cafe after my baby was sick?

[Angrycafe]

I was out with DD (2m) and DH earlier at a cafe. DH had to leave 5 minutes before I did with DD because he was running late to meet his friend to watch football.

As I was getting my belongings together, DD was sick everywhere, including on the floor. I was really flustered and quickly left, making sure the immediate area (the table) was clear but admittedly didn’t clean the floor.

A woman (staff) hurried out of the cafe after me and started ranting about a lack of respect and that I wouldn’t be welcome back. I just burst out into tears.

I wish in hindsight I had cleaned it, by I was flustered and in a mess. Am I terrible for doing this?

Gently, you need to build a bit of resilience. You could have handled this so much better - even just saying to the staff, “I’m so sorry but baby has just been sick, what should I do to help?” would have made the whole situation better. It’s really grim to leave a cafe with sick all over the floor for someone else to deal with.

No one's being as dramatic as the OP. It's her who couldn't cope with it and fled. And didn't think her DH needed bothering about it as he deserved a drink, bless him and his fat-shaming gags. So both parents thought it was too much for them, but not too much for a random member of cafe staff to clean up for them. If it was 'just a bit of baby sick' OP would have been able to deal with it and not posted. But given the 'joke', it seems she thinks other people are lesser anyway, even if they're only a little 'rotund'.

Gosh, I was about to post along the lines of not beating yourself up about it, likely a stupid spur of the moment mistake…….until I read your subsequent comments. Your DH deserving a break doesn’t mean this woman deserves to clean up your child’s vomit. His needs don’t trump her right to be treated with respect. And his comments about her size are hardly a joke - he needs to get some new material if this is considered funny in your house 🥴

So not only do you and your DH have shitty manners (leaving baby puke is fucking grim) you also both think it's fine to mock someone's size. Zero sympathy here.

We've all been in stressful situations, most of us have had newborns (often with toddlers in tow as well) but very few of us think it's okay to just leave without saying anything. It's just gross behaviour.

You should have cleaned it up no excuses
If the baby had been sick at home what would you have done just left it
If I’d have been a customer in there having a drink or a bite to eat I’d have been disgusted
Why should the staff have to clean it up talk about entitled

But the cafe worker deserved to be slagged off and laughed at AND made to clear up your baby’s vomit. Wow.

You came across as stressed and vulnerable in your OP but I see that actually you aren’t. And ‘rotund’? What. The. Fuck.

This is a good idea, mistakes happen, but the story doesn't need to end here - our stress hormones go through the roof when our kids are sick, it's nature, I would also be so ashamed and probably hide away with something like this but I am trying to do better for myself - I had a similar (not involving sick) situation and I didn't go back and still feel shame and avoid the shop to this day, I wish I'd put big girl pants on and humbled myself and went. If you go and they're arsey after that, it's on them. For what it's worth what you did wasn't ideal but you're not a bad person just a stressed mum. My little boy once puked everywhere all over the gorgeous landscaped entrance of a brand new David Lloyd centre, all I could do was shout into reception and run for it because his second bout went all over me including in my bra. He also puked last year on a beachside volleyball court which at least was made of sand. The only two big bouts of sick he's had - bit of thing for the outdoors.

She didn’t miss it - she knew it was there but decided to scarper and let the fat cafe worker clear it up so she could go home and her DH could watch the football.

There seems to be several threads this weekend aimed at winding people up

And working very well.

It’s ok the staff won’t want you to return anyway.

Actually over the years when my DC have spilled something/been sick etc, pretty much 100% of the time when I ask for extra wipes/mop etc, the staff have reassured me and told me not to worry. It’s the presumption that it’s someone else’s problem/that’s what staff are paid for that is the issue here.

That's pretty gross and your dh's joke is also disgusting

But I know what it's like to be a new mum. You do things you wouldn't ordinarily think are reasonable. Just avoid that cafe from now on. If that ever happens again, maybe tell someone and ask for some blue roll to clean it.

This!

You are only 2 months pp. No it wasn’t the ideal way to handle the situation but everyone makes mistakes with a new baby.

Hysterical.

If you’re going to behave like this every time your child is sick or makes a mess, then I suggest you grow a tougher skin because I think you’re going to be an unwelcome visitor in a few places.

What was the problem? Babies are sick. It’s what babies do. Nobody would have been shocked or horrified at baby sick. All you had to do was clean up baby, secure them safely and then get the baby wipes out to clean up the floor, before telling the staff so they could mop if they wanted to. What was the need to make such a drama over it?

OP is plenty resilient given her and her DH’s attitude.

I’m so sorry but baby has just been sick, what should I do to help?”

No - the correct thing would have been to clean it up. Like I said it may not bother some people but it’s vile. But then the OP clearly doesn’t care about the staff.

they spoke to you like that because of your actions - you need to own that I’m afraid

He deserves a break and drinks and the staff deserves to clean up your shit ?? No sympathy here. What shitty behaviour from you.

I felt sorry for you after your OP, now I think you're minging.

Same

you left sick whether reflux /milk or actually big sick on the floor in a cafe where hygiene has to be 5* or they will lose business

sick happens. Get used to it and how to behave after - but your /dhcomments and laughing of poor lady who had to clean it up is just rude

I am not. I take it that you are rather new to Mumsnet then!

Ah, you went one step too far, this’ll be deleted before you know it 😉

Go back, apologise, and leave a massive tip for the staff. You were out of order, but you can still make amends.

@Tink3rbell30 makes a really good point - it is always people on minimum wage who have to clear this up. That's should make others think a bit.

Wow this is absolutely obnoxious I wouldn’t have found it funny at all

I hope it does. I've done that job and the rudeness and arrogance of others is something else.