AIBU for leaving a cafe after my baby was sick?

[Angrycafe]

I was out with DD (2m) and DH earlier at a cafe. DH had to leave 5 minutes before I did with DD because he was running late to meet his friend to watch football.

As I was getting my belongings together, DD was sick everywhere, including on the floor. I was really flustered and quickly left, making sure the immediate area (the table) was clear but admittedly didn’t clean the floor.

A woman (staff) hurried out of the cafe after me and started ranting about a lack of respect and that I wouldn’t be welcome back. I just burst out into tears.

I wish in hindsight I had cleaned it, by I was flustered and in a mess. Am I terrible for doing this?

Don’t torture yourself.
I was once at a hotel and my baby vommed his milk all over the breakfast table. I just apologised profusely and legged it.
Another time I crashed my tank of a buggy into a big table of cakes in a small shop and at least 10 went on the floor. I apologised a lot and didn’t go back for at least a year. I’m over it now, just.
Sht happens. Forget it and move on. Worse things happen at sea. X

I realise it’s milk but it still makes me retch! I had to go home from a day out once when my friend’s baby puked on her shoulder while we were eating! That was years ago and I haven’t seen her since!

You left the vomit to be cleaned up by staff? Why would you just apologise and leg it? That’s incredibly selfish and disrespectful. I don’t get why you wouldn’t clean it up. Do you feel that it’s the staff’s job to clear it up!

Obviously you absolutely are. People leaving loads of food and crumbs under a table and over it are bad enough. I always think its courteous to tidy up any excessive mess beyond the usual expected minimal crumbs. Your child drops loads of food? Pick it up and bin it or put it on the plate. Sick? That's actually disgusting and no amount of being overwhelmed makes that ok

Ah so not just a bad, overwhelmed mum moment. Just a generally terrible person. Nice.

So because it makes you retch someone else should have to clean it and who gives a F if they retch? Wow

That's not what she said.

A longish time ago when my children were quite a bit younger we went to a popular chain restaurant for pizza lunch. The place was not busy, lots of empty tables. We waited and waited.. and waited. I was sitting opposite DH and observed the table behind him, the toddler in the high chair was violently sick. The husband picked up the child and ran for the toilets with his hand over the child's mouth. The wife hurriedly gathered the other child, paid and left. DH having his back to them was oblivious. I didn't tell him as he would have had us out of there in a flash and we'd never have got lunch. Still, I watched as the staff walked the length of the place ( a large converted church) to get a mop and walked back to do some desultory mopping before giving the high chair a light wipe. I could contain myself no more and called the manager over to say their cleaning was inadequate, it could be something infectious like norovirus and they needed to thoroughly disinfect.
Meanwhile our pizzas arrived. I banned all of us from accepting the offer of parmesan being grated, as they held the parmesan with bare hands probably unwashed. But we gratefully ate our pizzas and didn't fall ill.

I do think the best thing is to apologise to staff and beat a hasty retreat.

Also, both DD have worked in an upmarket pub, and both have had to deal with customers who apparently think it is OK to sit a child on a potty in the middle of the dining area. Imagine! DD1 pointedly indicated the toilets and told the mother she might want to empty the potty there and wash her hands.

Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Totally misread lol sorry

No - you are misunderstanding me. The parent should clean it up.

I don’t have a baby, so why would I be leaving anyone to do anything?

I can understand her reaction

You stayed in there after it puked but then got precious about the cleaning? Bloody hell.

Yes apologies I totally misread your post and thought you were implying something you werent.

We had waited a long time and were hungry! I was the only one who saw as DH had his back to them.

What the staff person should have done was check if you were ok and if you needed some help to get the baby sorted. Then they should have got the mop and bucket and started cleaning up. My friend's little one vomited all over his buggy and his little brother who was also in the buggy and it was outside and that was difficult enough to manage. She should have been more understanding, you've only got one pair of hands. And don't even ask me about the clifftop bus journey where I caught my little one's vomit in my hands and bra!

Yes I am not going to fully strip a loaded breakfast table in the middle of a busy hotel restaurant. The best thing I can do in that situation is say how sorry I am, go and change my wet baby, and get out of their way so they can clear everything and spray down. Thats more than asking for a bit of blue roll. Feel free to come at me with all your rage my dear. I see you say you’ve not got a baby. If you’ve not lived it, you really don’t know.

Well of course you wouldn't feel comfortable, apologising generally isn't very comfortable for the person making amends and taking responsibility for their behaviour.

Imagine working 6 hours straight without a break or an 8 hour shift with just a 20 minute break, on your feet the whole time, and having to clean up baby sick 🤢

I think you should go in and apologise.

You have a new baby and you panicked. Maybe if she had come out to check on you and asked you to clean it up in a nicer way there would have been a better outcome.

Why should she check on the OP? She probably thought that she would clean her own child’s vomit up. She certainly shouldn’t have to ask her nicely to do it.

Then having a laugh about her weight is just vile

Its not rage ‘dear’, its disgust that people are expected to clean up the aftermath of someone’s child reenacting the Exorcist. 🤷‍♀️

@LiviaDrusillaAugustaI’m not excusing it or condoning it. I’m making a suggestion as to how OP might make some attempt at making amends ‘after the fact’. And getting her DH back would, by then, have taken too long and be too late for a floor to stay covered in sick. There is no point saying what she should have done because she can’t turn the clock back. What we can do is say, it is never too late to apologise - the worst that can happen is OP gets told off again; the best is that she feels
better for accepting her error and trying to make it right and the person in the shop realises OP was overwhelmed in the moment and isn’t usually like that and has been big enough to apologise.

You weren't that bothered about the germs then. 😂

"Some help to get the baby sorted" I mean, I can't 🙄enough.

I think you behaved appallingly and it’s no wonder the woman from the cafe was angry. The fact that you’re a new mum is no excuse to leave baby vomit on the floor for someone else to clean up or slip on. How would you feel if someone came round to your house, threw up on your kitchen floor and just walked out without so much as an apology? You should be waiting outside the door of the cafe when it opens tomorrow to apologise.

Some if us with babies do know and are as astounded as the pp you quote.