To be furious with DH for this?

[Coffeecherrymama]

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

so so sorry op x

I’m going to contact a divorce lawyer tomorrow I think! I’m still fuming with him to be honest but I’m also really upset as well

DH has since told his mum and father that I apparently said he could have the night out but I never said that! He has also told them I apparently told him he could go to Ibiza but I had no about the Ibiza trip until I found the tickets!

So he's a lying scumbag? I am sorry, but he is not the man you thought he was.

How has he got the money to do this with no job?

That’s absolutely disgusting from him AND his mum.

He has savings x

Why would anyone do that?! Sorry to say but if hes willing to lie and save face with his parents and make you look bad in the process that's not a relationship worth keeping. Concentrate on you and your babies x

DH was also very horrible in the hour before his father picked him up from our house yesterday, he didn’t seem to see the problem in him being out all night and how that affected me!! My sister was fuming with him too x

I’m worried I won’t cope on my own with my babies though if we spilt up x

Im so sorry you’re going through this 😞

He is an absolute cunt!! (And I hate using that word). He has completely ruined the first days you should be enjoying as a family with your new baby. What a disgusting excuse of not only a father, but a human.

Do not have any contact with his parents from now on. They will always believe him and take his side. You will be fighting a losing battle with them, unfortunately.

However, it sounds like you have good support from your parents and sister.

Get all the legal advice you can get. You sound like a hardworking woman and that you have your head screwed on. You’ll get through this, you know you deserve so much better 💐

I think you will cope, you’ll cope better. Be honest, how helpful has he been with the children so far?
Wishing you and your babies all the best OP x

You will manage. I can’t imagine he’d much help with him being so selfish. You will probably find it easier.

It is obviously going to be emotional and difficult. But it’s definitely for the best

At least you’ll only have two young ones to look after rather than an additional man-baby.

I promise you, you will cope.

14 years ago at 22, I threw my daughters dad out. I was petrified and skint. He had absolutely bled me dry, emotionally and financially. Now years later those first few years of just my daughter & I are my most favourite years, yes it was hard but I was so so happy. 14 years later I’m doing well at work, had a few promotions and just bought my first house on my own. 22 year old me whose car was being used by her useless partner leaving her to get two busses and walk miles in all weathers just drop her daughter at childcare and go to work, with holes in her shoes and getting to work with soaking wet feet would be bloody proud of where we are now. So again, I promise you, you absolutely can do it!

It is far easier to be on your own and have no expectations of another person, rather than to be with someone and for them to let you down.
I’m sorry you are going through this. Your H is acting like a selfish teenager.

It will be easier without him than with him! You have spent the last few days cleaning up the mess he has made. You don’t need that.

Cannot imagine how your emotions are right now OP. It’s a huge deal realise you husband is such an arse and you need to divorce but to be doing that on the post partum hormone rollercoaster must be intense. Look after yourself.

It will be easier to cope with 2 babies than 3.

honestly, you will find your rhythm. It will be hard but worth it.

You will cope.

He's a dick. He's said that you agreed he could go to Ibiza but what kind of bloke would ask that a few days after their wife had a baby. And left her alone the WHOLE of the first night getting up to fuck knows what. And tattle it all to mummykins to justify his lying behaviour

He's not even remorseful because he's been a twat and acting defensive. If you let him back this will become a pattern.

Of course you will cope, you've done it since Saturday

How helpful is he really?

And now he has revealed himself to be even more unreliable (staying out all night and coming home wrecked), AND a total liar.

Plus he's about to swan off to Ibiza and leave you on your own with your new baby and your daughter!

Definitely get your ducks in a row while he's gone OP.

💐

I think he sounds awful but you don’t have to decide anything this second. Just tread water for a day or two and concentrate on your recovery and getting some rest if you can. Let your hormones settle down and then have a think about the long term future and what it could look like IF you did decide to divorce.

Who is the other ticket for??

Sounds like you're doing pretty well without him anyhow.

Even the fact now that he’s lying to his parents and blaming you for him being such a prick he doesn’t deserve you I promise you will be 100% better of without him he needs to grow up who books Ibiza knowing his wife literally just gave birthed selfish and self centred and you don’t deserve that at all neither do your babies sending you support