Page 28 | To be furious with DH for this?

PGmicstand · Yesterday 23:01

Mumto2at · Yesterday 22:56

The first night home?! That's inexcusable! He should be looking after the baby/the older one whilst you rest, and most importantly caring for you!

Exactly.
And his family should be supporting that approach, not making pathetic excuses.

I'd be interested to know how he has been able to afford the ticket to Ibiza, and who hes going with.
This sounds like a very difficult and disappointing situation for OP. I hope it doesnt turn out to be the case that this is not the first time he's behaved so badly.

ReadingSoManyThreads · Yesterday 23:11

Coffeecherrymama · Yesterday 22:52

Can I get the locks changed or not then? My sister is telling me I can’t yet? Xx

If you both own the home, then no, legally you cannot change the locks. Please do not do this. If you are both renting, with both names on the tenancy, you'd have to arrange for his name to be taken off before you'd be able to change the locks. You cannot just lock someone out of someone's legally owned/tenanted home.

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 23:12

Coffeecherrymama · Yesterday 22:52

Can I get the locks changed or not then? My sister is telling me I can’t yet? Xx

From a civil law side, no. But if you know that he cant afford to take you to court to gain access, then you will probably be ok. And you are assuming that he is clever enough to know this, which he clearly isnt.

However, what you can do is ADD locks, bolts etc and that is perfectly fine and legal. Also, if you have a door that he doesnt have a key to then you can leave your key turned in the main door lock, and then use the other door.

MustWeDoThis · Yesterday 23:33

Justthisandthat · Yesterday 22:53

I was thinking, how did he afford the Ibiza ticket?

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The OP has already mentioned she works full time, and is more than likely getting a UC top-up and child benefit. We don't know how much they earn, either. They were also on maternity leave. They might have savings, money from parents etc...

FullOfLoveAndObsessiveCleaner · Today 00:09

My ex did a very similar thing, going out "to wet the baby's head" until all hours, coming back at 5am drunk. Then it continued most months after that for a good while. Although the drinking and boyish nights out stopped, his behaviour and selfish ways didn't. Long story. 16 years later I divorced him and I'm so much happier and free. I'm not controlled anymore and don't have to put up with behaviour like this. More so, neither do my DCs.
Think of your babies and get out now.
Stay strong x

moderate · Today 01:33

From a legal point of view, how does this differ from barring him access by changing the locks?

Ferrit6 · Today 01:51

Find his passport and hide it or rip it just enjoy giving him a headache- sorry you are in this situation and I hope you get some support from family and friends

horsesaanddogs · Today 06:34

Do you own or rent?

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · Today 06:52

@Coffeecherrymama

This has got to be the worst thing I have read for a while, I’m so sorry OP!

You must be exhausted!

Congrats on new baby. This is not how you should be spending your time right now.

Please do not allow him back home.

Get advice. Get help. And get rid!

Please, also rest when you can, and when you are able, we’d all love an update to know you’re ok? We’re all behind you!

(And MiL can go do one too!)

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · Today 06:54

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 23:12

From a civil law side, no. But if you know that he cant afford to take you to court to gain access, then you will probably be ok. And you are assuming that he is clever enough to know this, which he clearly isnt.

However, what you can do is ADD locks, bolts etc and that is perfectly fine and legal. Also, if you have a door that he doesnt have a key to then you can leave your key turned in the main door lock, and then use the other door.

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Good to know! 😉

moderate · Today 06:59

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · Today 06:54

Good to know! 😉

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Is it true though? How is it legally different from changing the locks? You’re preventing him access to his property either way.

ashleighsmilie88 · Today 07:10

Same thing happened to me with my second, he came home the following afternoon as my family and I were packing our things to leave

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · Today 07:23

moderate · Today 06:59

Is it true though? How is it legally different from changing the locks? You’re preventing him access to his property either way.

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Don’t know, I haven’t verified the facts myself. A legal loophole I expect…. 🤷‍♀️ There are plenty of them!

Feel free to check…. You can let us know…

Legal or not, given what I’ve read, I’d be stopping him coming back in the home one way or another.

I’d be gathering evidence and building a case against him, just in case. And if this is what the OP does to keep the kids and herself safe, so be it.

LilMagpie · Today 07:47

Oh OP I’m so sorry you’ve been treated this way. This was absolutely horrific to read. Please free yourself from this creature

Deboragh · Today 08:46

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:05

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

So he was five minutes late according to the time you posted this.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · Today 08:47

BrentfordForever · Yesterday 18:09

No, cause similarly to paper tickets, he doesn’t exist 😎

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Paper tickets exist. I'm not sure why you're so adamant that people don't still like to have paper, but ok, live in your own bubble.

ForCandidDuck · Today 08:59

I can't believe I'm reading this!! He should WANT to be at home with you all!!

clearlyy · Today 09:23

Have you spoken to him yet OP? What’s he had to say for himself?

Cherriesandapples1 · Today 09:38

Deboragh · Today 08:46

So he was five minutes late according to the time you posted this.

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Is that the thing you picked up from this thread? 🤯
He didn't rock up until the next morning, vomited everywhere, passed out on the floor, has no job, bought tickets to ibiza without telling op and buggered off to the pub the night op was home from hospital with her new born.
She was entitled to feel mad about the fact he'd abandoned her with the children the second she came out of hospital with the baby to get pissed, even if he wasn't late home

Zippidydoodah · Today 10:08

Please don’t let him back in the house. He doesn’t deserve a minute more of your time. I could never, ever get past this. 💐

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · Today 10:31

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:09

Our second child x

His mum is saying he’s “entitled” to a night out and “entitled to celebrate the baby” but I’m absolutely furious

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Well, you are also entitled to a night out and to celebrate the birth of the baby. Feel stronger soon and then leave your NVDH with the kids as soon as you can and stay out the whole day into the late evening.

This "the man is entitled to a night out with his mates" crap totally chaps my hide. As if they went through ANYTHING resembling a birth. They "deserve" a night out after they push a grapefruit out their urethra.

After that and ALL the other stuff he has put you through, he should go back to live with his mommy so she can continue to bottlefeed him.

ArtAngel · Today 10:33

Deboragh · Today 08:46

So he was five minutes late according to the time you posted this.

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And that was 5 minutes past the latest time HE decided he would be home. The OP said she didn't want him to go out at all - but he went out giving her 'no choice' at 4pm. Leaving her post-partum, first night out of hospital, with a newborn and a toddler.

And then the rest.

You can click 'see all' in the OP to see all the OP's info and updates. Quite a good strategy for avoiding making sarky comments to women in distress.

Dreamymeme · Today 10:40

Coffeecherrymama · Yesterday 22:52

Can I get the locks changed or not then? My sister is telling me I can’t yet? Xx

No, and WADR allowing some bitter man-haters to egg you on and blow up a relationship when you're fragile is a terrible mistake.

No question he was being selfish, but people are not perfect. Unless he's like this all the time - and I highly doubt you would have had this baby with him if he was - it's something to discuss, and to get him to apologise for. Not something about which you make life changing decisions when you're PP.

This is your life the bitter posters are gleefully ruining; don't allow them.

Wheresthebeach · Today 10:42

Awful behaviour
have no more children with this idiot

Zippidydoodah · Today 10:59

Dreamymeme · Today 10:40

No, and WADR allowing some bitter man-haters to egg you on and blow up a relationship when you're fragile is a terrible mistake.

No question he was being selfish, but people are not perfect. Unless he's like this all the time - and I highly doubt you would have had this baby with him if he was - it's something to discuss, and to get him to apologise for. Not something about which you make life changing decisions when you're PP.

This is your life the bitter posters are gleefully ruining; don't allow them.

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Have you actually read the OP’s comments?