AIBU to refuse a council house over stairs and no outside space?

255 replies

Stressedmum6761 · 25/04/2026 12:34

Hi, I really need some advice on what to do here please I've been crying all morning and scouring the Internet. I'm on the council housing list, have been for 3 years now because of the state of my current ground floor flat. The council came out to do a review and put my banding up.

I got a call yesterday out of the blue to view a house I bid on before Christmas and was 47th in the queue so didn't think I would have any chance. The woman said it has a small yard and a downstairs bathroom. My daughter is 6 and I'm so so scared she's going to fall down the stairs in the night time to use the toilet, she sleepwalks and is currently on the pathway for ASD, when she goes to the loo in the flat I have to battle to steer her back to bed or she's wandering about on her own for god knows how long.

I've also been to look at the house through the windows and it 100% does not have a yard as the lady said as the bathroom has been built on as an extension downstairs. I know this sounds so ungrateful but I don't want us moving from bad to worse, our current flat has a tiny little yard that I've managed to squeeze a bench and a mini greenhouse into so my daughter at least has somewhere she can sit outside when she's had a meltdown or needs to regulate herself.

I'm so worried if I turn this down by saying I'm worrying about the stairs at night I'll be taken down a band. Has anyone successfully turned down a property for safety concerns and not been penalised? Thank you 😊

OP posts:

Mythoughts1 · Yesterday 22:35

Use a stairs gate as others have said. Also your child may grow out of sleepwalking. My son slept walk when he was little and grew out of it by the time he was around 7. If the garden is a deal breaker, don't move there.

zukinizen · Yesterday 22:37

Is the thread still going? How much more advice is needed? Take the house, sleep downstairs, simples. If there is no garden, let her sit on the front door step to regulate and you get coffee and stand outside

Mamaone11 · Yesterday 23:07

I think you are ungrateful. People wait years for a housing association place. If you want a move that bad you will make it work.

andthat · Yesterday 23:27

Stressedmum6761 · Yesterday 16:35

Hey so I've read through the comments on here and I just want to say thank you for the helpful comments (for the rude and unhelpful ones I'm not going to thank you)

The issue is I cannot baby gate the stairs (or lock her in her room as some people have suggested which is super dangerous) as she would need to use the toilet in the night and if I don't hear her it may be she has an accident either falling down them trying to take herself or wets herself if she doesn't make it in time. Yes a motion sensor or a chemical toilet would be a good suggestion so thank you for those.

For the lovely people who have either told me to get a job, go private or buy my own house...I do work. I work full time. If I was in a position to go private or even buy my own house I wouldn't be on the list in the first place. Even the private ones that have been in my budget I've been turned down for even a viewing straight away or I don't have a homeowner guarantor within their ridiculous goal posts.

I've checked the guidelines for my council and they have said band b can have 2 reasonable refusals. This would be my first (if I do refuse it) and I'm going to view it tomorrow on my lunch break at work. I am going with an open mind but I am going to express my concerns to the housing officer.

To the people who have called me dramatic..this is a life changing decision. Moving from one place to another and having to pour what little money I have into making somewhere a home isn't something ideal..I'm aware all council properties are the same but obviously anyone would be upset if the house wasn't something they were happy with.

The house is in a very rough area and for me to be offered a viewing that far down the list there has to be someone (or a few people) who have also gone to see it and turned it down for some reason or another. Even if I did take it I doubt someone would do a swap with me in a years time because of where it is so I would essentially be stuck there for a very long time. Thinking back to it I think I bidded on it, found out where it was and was supposed to withdraw my bid but must of not done it in time, with me finishing at 47th I didn't think I'd be offered it anyway.

Also to the ableists who said that my daughter having a meltdown would "p*ss off my neighbours" I do not send my daughter outside while this happens..how could you read my post and think that? If a disabled child pisses you off then that is a you issue.

As for the garden an outside space would be amazing and I don't think I'm unreasonable for being disheartened that a house wouldn't have any...I've seen so many 2 bedroomed houses on property pool that have garden space. I completely understand that council housing is in a crisis but still I don't think that means people have to put up with living in a sh*tehole just because they're poor. It's all well and good when most of the people being judgey probably own their own homes and don't have to think about this sort of thing, it's giving ivory tower.

@Stressedmum6761 this is an excellent post. I wish you and your daughter the very best and hope that you find your next home very soon.

Etiennethemad · Today 00:25

Definitely see a housing specialist at Citizens Advice. They will look at your situation holistically, e.g. any benefits that you may be receiving or entitled to and any medical issues that you or your daughter may have. They can also advise you on how your local authority views refusing an offer.
They mean well, but Mumsnet posters don't always give correct advice.

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