Page 11 | AIBU to refuse a council house over stairs and no outside space?

Mythoughts1 · 27/04/2026 22:35

Use a stairs gate as others have said. Also your child may grow out of sleepwalking. My son slept walk when he was little and grew out of it by the time he was around 7. If the garden is a deal breaker, don't move there.

zukinizen · 27/04/2026 22:37

Is the thread still going? How much more advice is needed? Take the house, sleep downstairs, simples. If there is no garden, let her sit on the front door step to regulate and you get coffee and stand outside

Mamaone11 · 27/04/2026 23:07

I think you are ungrateful. People wait years for a housing association place. If you want a move that bad you will make it work.

andthat · 27/04/2026 23:27

Stressedmum6761 · 27/04/2026 16:35

Hey so I've read through the comments on here and I just want to say thank you for the helpful comments (for the rude and unhelpful ones I'm not going to thank you)

The issue is I cannot baby gate the stairs (or lock her in her room as some people have suggested which is super dangerous) as she would need to use the toilet in the night and if I don't hear her it may be she has an accident either falling down them trying to take herself or wets herself if she doesn't make it in time. Yes a motion sensor or a chemical toilet would be a good suggestion so thank you for those.

For the lovely people who have either told me to get a job, go private or buy my own house...I do work. I work full time. If I was in a position to go private or even buy my own house I wouldn't be on the list in the first place. Even the private ones that have been in my budget I've been turned down for even a viewing straight away or I don't have a homeowner guarantor within their ridiculous goal posts.

I've checked the guidelines for my council and they have said band b can have 2 reasonable refusals. This would be my first (if I do refuse it) and I'm going to view it tomorrow on my lunch break at work. I am going with an open mind but I am going to express my concerns to the housing officer.

To the people who have called me dramatic..this is a life changing decision. Moving from one place to another and having to pour what little money I have into making somewhere a home isn't something ideal..I'm aware all council properties are the same but obviously anyone would be upset if the house wasn't something they were happy with.

The house is in a very rough area and for me to be offered a viewing that far down the list there has to be someone (or a few people) who have also gone to see it and turned it down for some reason or another. Even if I did take it I doubt someone would do a swap with me in a years time because of where it is so I would essentially be stuck there for a very long time. Thinking back to it I think I bidded on it, found out where it was and was supposed to withdraw my bid but must of not done it in time, with me finishing at 47th I didn't think I'd be offered it anyway.

Also to the ableists who said that my daughter having a meltdown would "p*ss off my neighbours" I do not send my daughter outside while this happens..how could you read my post and think that? If a disabled child pisses you off then that is a you issue.

As for the garden an outside space would be amazing and I don't think I'm unreasonable for being disheartened that a house wouldn't have any...I've seen so many 2 bedroomed houses on property pool that have garden space. I completely understand that council housing is in a crisis but still I don't think that means people have to put up with living in a sh*tehole just because they're poor. It's all well and good when most of the people being judgey probably own their own homes and don't have to think about this sort of thing, it's giving ivory tower.

@Stressedmum6761 this is an excellent post. I wish you and your daughter the very best and hope that you find your next home very soon.

Etiennethemad · 28/04/2026 00:25

Definitely see a housing specialist at Citizens Advice. They will look at your situation holistically, e.g. any benefits that you may be receiving or entitled to and any medical issues that you or your daughter may have. They can also advise you on how your local authority views refusing an offer.
They mean well, but Mumsnet posters don't always give correct advice.

Tortephant · 28/04/2026 07:48

OP, I havne't read the pages of responses you have had, and I am unfamiliar with how the system works, so excuse me if I miss something here.
The red flag for me is that you were 47th on the list. Does that mean that quite a few people have already rejected it. Are there even more issues you aren't ware of?

Sparkler1234 · 28/04/2026 08:13

Would any house with upstairs bedroom and stairs not be a problem though? As she could fall down stairs if sleepwalking whether going to bathroom or not?

Phoenixfire1988 · 28/04/2026 08:25

Unfortunately if you turn it down you go back to the bottom of the list and are unlikely to be offered another as you bid on it thats the rules in my area anyway

Phoenixfire1988 · 28/04/2026 08:26

Tortephant · 28/04/2026 07:48

OP, I havne't read the pages of responses you have had, and I am unfamiliar with how the system works, so excuse me if I miss something here.
The red flag for me is that you were 47th on the list. Does that mean that quite a few people have already rejected it. Are there even more issues you aren't ware of?

Her band changed since then so she's likely been bumped up the list .

Usernamenotav · 28/04/2026 08:58

I mean the stairs in just a non issue. That's what stairgates are for.

I think it's very sad for a kid to not have any outdoor space though.

frenchnoodle · 28/04/2026 09:00

Stair gates and a camping potty until she is used to the stairs.

Packetofcrispsplease · 28/04/2026 11:35

I grew up in a house with a downstairs toilet / bathroom.
To go to the loo in the night or the early hours of the morning meant heading down 2 short flights of stairs and through a hall , then back living room , then the kitchen.
Not great for small kids so my mum put a waterproof sheet thing and a potty on top

LabourWillSaveOurKidsFuture · 28/04/2026 12:04

Stressedmum6761 · 25/04/2026 12:34

Hi, I really need some advice on what to do here please I've been crying all morning and scouring the Internet. I'm on the council housing list, have been for 3 years now because of the state of my current ground floor flat. The council came out to do a review and put my banding up.

I got a call yesterday out of the blue to view a house I bid on before Christmas and was 47th in the queue so didn't think I would have any chance. The woman said it has a small yard and a downstairs bathroom. My daughter is 6 and I'm so so scared she's going to fall down the stairs in the night time to use the toilet, she sleepwalks and is currently on the pathway for ASD, when she goes to the loo in the flat I have to battle to steer her back to bed or she's wandering about on her own for god knows how long.

I've also been to look at the house through the windows and it 100% does not have a yard as the lady said as the bathroom has been built on as an extension downstairs. I know this sounds so ungrateful but I don't want us moving from bad to worse, our current flat has a tiny little yard that I've managed to squeeze a bench and a mini greenhouse into so my daughter at least has somewhere she can sit outside when she's had a meltdown or needs to regulate herself.

I'm so worried if I turn this down by saying I'm worrying about the stairs at night I'll be taken down a band. Has anyone successfully turned down a property for safety concerns and not been penalised? Thank you 😊

I'm very late to the party but what I've been told by many who are in social housing is to take the house then ask for a suitability review. Then you're not impacting whether you'll be considered for another house and you'll be immediately moved already. They will get an occupational health assessment or similar and then hopefully move you to a house with an upstairs bathroom etc. And yes, your concerns are completely valid x

WorriedRelative · 28/04/2026 14:58

Stressedmum6761 · 27/04/2026 19:34

I knew the area was bad yes but the advert didn't state anything about the bathroom. It was just "2 bedroom house with yard"

Show quote history

So it does have outdoor space.

Honestly the stairs are not insurmountable. Take the property and then look for a swap if you aren't entirely happy.

Original poster

Stressedmum6761 · 28/04/2026 18:12

Hello again 👋 I went to see the house today. It's all been ripped out with brand new bathroom and kitchen, brand new windows and the housing officer said it's had about £30,000 put into it as it was a complete and utter dump when they got it back from the previous tenants. There were bugs (flies and what looked like cockroaches) everywhere but she said it will be deep cleaned and this is just because they've kept the windows open mostly while renovating.

The stairs are very steep and there is no landing, just directly 2 bedrooms next to eachother.

The "yard" is basically an entry, big enough to fit the wheelie bins in and nothing more. She said the road is quiet, she knows the tenants next door are also a single mum and a child around my age but unsure of the ones on the other side.

I expressed my concerns over the bathroom and outside and while she completely sympathised with me and completely understood where I was coming from having 2 children with ASD herself she said that the council would not see this as an issue without an official diagnosis.

She said she's seen it go 50/50 and what she would do in my position is take the house and after a year try to swap or after a diagnosis put forward a medical grounds case, which I know a lot of you have suggested.

I had a little panic but she said she did need an answer today and gave me an hour to mill it over. I've spoken with friends and family (family are old school and were on the grounds of "tell them you need somewhere bigger" and didn't understand the dire state of council housing nowadays) friends have tried to cheer me up and say they'll help with decorating, moving etc. and that it's better than where I am now.

So I called back after about half an hour and accepted the house, she said it would be ready in a few weeks. I'm going to baby gate the stairs and get a sensor for her door frame, I've also looked at motion sensor lights for the stair case. Thank you to everyone who has left helpful, encouraging and well wishing comments. To the rest of you, good riddance I guess 😅

OP posts:

Lyra25 · 28/04/2026 18:16

Stressedmum6761 · 28/04/2026 18:12

Hello again 👋 I went to see the house today. It's all been ripped out with brand new bathroom and kitchen, brand new windows and the housing officer said it's had about £30,000 put into it as it was a complete and utter dump when they got it back from the previous tenants. There were bugs (flies and what looked like cockroaches) everywhere but she said it will be deep cleaned and this is just because they've kept the windows open mostly while renovating.

The stairs are very steep and there is no landing, just directly 2 bedrooms next to eachother.

The "yard" is basically an entry, big enough to fit the wheelie bins in and nothing more. She said the road is quiet, she knows the tenants next door are also a single mum and a child around my age but unsure of the ones on the other side.

I expressed my concerns over the bathroom and outside and while she completely sympathised with me and completely understood where I was coming from having 2 children with ASD herself she said that the council would not see this as an issue without an official diagnosis.

She said she's seen it go 50/50 and what she would do in my position is take the house and after a year try to swap or after a diagnosis put forward a medical grounds case, which I know a lot of you have suggested.

I had a little panic but she said she did need an answer today and gave me an hour to mill it over. I've spoken with friends and family (family are old school and were on the grounds of "tell them you need somewhere bigger" and didn't understand the dire state of council housing nowadays) friends have tried to cheer me up and say they'll help with decorating, moving etc. and that it's better than where I am now.

So I called back after about half an hour and accepted the house, she said it would be ready in a few weeks. I'm going to baby gate the stairs and get a sensor for her door frame, I've also looked at motion sensor lights for the stair case. Thank you to everyone who has left helpful, encouraging and well wishing comments. To the rest of you, good riddance I guess 😅

I hope you’re happy there and make a lovely home for the two of you ❤️

Zov · 28/04/2026 18:19

Hey @Stressedmum6761 Nice one! 😃 I am glad you have accepted it, and didn't want to risk being bumped down the queue.

May the odds forever be in your favour!

Be happy, always. All the best in your new home. 😘

HipsterHighStreet · 28/04/2026 18:23

Fantastic, @Stressedmum6761 . From far away on the internet, it seems like you’ve made a sensible decision. You’ll make it work ❤️

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/04/2026 18:39

Sounds like you have made the right decision. You’ll be really nice to have a brand-new decorated place.

A double bonus having a lady next door may be a little Play friend your child and an adult one for you

Definitely look at camping Toilet or similar to have in the bedroom and fingers crossed that you get a diagnosis and then that will help you in finding a different place via a swap or get upgraded

SunMoonandChocolate · 28/04/2026 18:51

First of all, thanks for getting back to. us with your news OP, I know it's not ideal, but it's a roof over your head, and sounds like it will be in lovely condition when it's ready for you to move into. I wish you and your little one every happiness in your new home. Maybe come back in a few months and let us know how you're getting on?

MikeRafone · 28/04/2026 19:12

Stressedmum6761 · 28/04/2026 18:12

Hello again 👋 I went to see the house today. It's all been ripped out with brand new bathroom and kitchen, brand new windows and the housing officer said it's had about £30,000 put into it as it was a complete and utter dump when they got it back from the previous tenants. There were bugs (flies and what looked like cockroaches) everywhere but she said it will be deep cleaned and this is just because they've kept the windows open mostly while renovating.

The stairs are very steep and there is no landing, just directly 2 bedrooms next to eachother.

The "yard" is basically an entry, big enough to fit the wheelie bins in and nothing more. She said the road is quiet, she knows the tenants next door are also a single mum and a child around my age but unsure of the ones on the other side.

I expressed my concerns over the bathroom and outside and while she completely sympathised with me and completely understood where I was coming from having 2 children with ASD herself she said that the council would not see this as an issue without an official diagnosis.

She said she's seen it go 50/50 and what she would do in my position is take the house and after a year try to swap or after a diagnosis put forward a medical grounds case, which I know a lot of you have suggested.

I had a little panic but she said she did need an answer today and gave me an hour to mill it over. I've spoken with friends and family (family are old school and were on the grounds of "tell them you need somewhere bigger" and didn't understand the dire state of council housing nowadays) friends have tried to cheer me up and say they'll help with decorating, moving etc. and that it's better than where I am now.

So I called back after about half an hour and accepted the house, she said it would be ready in a few weeks. I'm going to baby gate the stairs and get a sensor for her door frame, I've also looked at motion sensor lights for the stair case. Thank you to everyone who has left helpful, encouraging and well wishing comments. To the rest of you, good riddance I guess 😅

its not ideal but it will be home, and hopefully you'll settle there and make it lovely.

I think the idea of going back on the bidding system after a year when you have a diagnoses is good and putting in for a swap - you should be able to do both.

good luck

Error404FucksNotFound · 28/04/2026 19:27

I think you have made the right choice. You can get a high stairgate and a camping toilet and wait it out.

Peppermintpatty24 · 28/04/2026 19:44

Stressedmum6761 · 28/04/2026 18:12

Hello again 👋 I went to see the house today. It's all been ripped out with brand new bathroom and kitchen, brand new windows and the housing officer said it's had about £30,000 put into it as it was a complete and utter dump when they got it back from the previous tenants. There were bugs (flies and what looked like cockroaches) everywhere but she said it will be deep cleaned and this is just because they've kept the windows open mostly while renovating.

The stairs are very steep and there is no landing, just directly 2 bedrooms next to eachother.

The "yard" is basically an entry, big enough to fit the wheelie bins in and nothing more. She said the road is quiet, she knows the tenants next door are also a single mum and a child around my age but unsure of the ones on the other side.

I expressed my concerns over the bathroom and outside and while she completely sympathised with me and completely understood where I was coming from having 2 children with ASD herself she said that the council would not see this as an issue without an official diagnosis.

She said she's seen it go 50/50 and what she would do in my position is take the house and after a year try to swap or after a diagnosis put forward a medical grounds case, which I know a lot of you have suggested.

I had a little panic but she said she did need an answer today and gave me an hour to mill it over. I've spoken with friends and family (family are old school and were on the grounds of "tell them you need somewhere bigger" and didn't understand the dire state of council housing nowadays) friends have tried to cheer me up and say they'll help with decorating, moving etc. and that it's better than where I am now.

So I called back after about half an hour and accepted the house, she said it would be ready in a few weeks. I'm going to baby gate the stairs and get a sensor for her door frame, I've also looked at motion sensor lights for the stair case. Thank you to everyone who has left helpful, encouraging and well wishing comments. To the rest of you, good riddance I guess 😅

Happy for you OP. Best wishes in your new home.

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 28/04/2026 19:55

TheHouse · 27/04/2026 18:23

yard? Do you mean garden?

Most of the terraced houses here have back ‘yards’ - concrete ground, walled off area with a gate to the back. Usually where the outdoor loo was at one point. These generally aren’t referred to as gardens.

Zov · 28/04/2026 20:48

Error404FucksNotFound · 28/04/2026 19:27

I think you have made the right choice. You can get a high stairgate and a camping toilet and wait it out.

Love your username! 😆