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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

HolyCheeses and Mary… the spreadsheet, the bullshit bingo and the aftermath. Part deux

85 replies

HolyCheeses · Yesterday 17:36

Was asked to start a thread.

started a thread.

OP posts:
BeFunnyBiscuit · Yesterday 21:46

DuckyDolittle · Yesterday 21:41

BB: ok i can see the money is all you care about, so we can split everything 40:60 (i.e., better but not exactly the right percentages) then
Wow, you really just want me to fund your life? Gold digger.

no, it goes further: wow, but you want a marriage, a legal protection for your old years, to be on the deeds, to be in my will and be accepted as my dear wife.....who knew that women felt entitled to all this .../ never mind really that this is what a normal man would do who cared for a woman for real

22YearsAndCounting · Yesterday 21:58

@HolyCheeses Is that you UCM? Ahhh those were the days!!

CaroleSP · Yesterday 22:05

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 21:33

I'm still stuck on the £700 a month for food after splitting the cost. How many fridges or freezers is he planning to have?

I guess this includes all his parents' food as well? After all she'll be expected to cook for them too as it's as easy to cook for 4 as 2 isn't it?

Notkatie · Yesterday 22:14

Only here for spreadsheets analysis

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · Yesterday 22:16

‘It’s always about money with you, isn’t it?’
’I was going to dump you next week anyway.’
’You’ll never get anyone as good as me again.’
’I hope you’ll be happy all alone in your house with only your cats and wine for company.’ (FTR being alone with cats and wine sounds amazing!)

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · Yesterday 22:41

CaroleSP · Yesterday 22:05

I guess this includes all his parents' food as well? After all she'll be expected to cook for them too as it's as easy to cook for 4 as 2 isn't it?

Which makes me wonder why OP was being asked to pay half the bills and not one quarter? There would be four people in the house after all.

MachineBee · Yesterday 22:56

OVienna · Yesterday 20:54

So, I get it now. He reckons he's found a carer for his parents who also pays his mortgage.

Get rid of this turd, please.

He's in pole position for Twat of the Year 2026. @hebemumsnet could we not have a place to move threads during the course of the year - a bit like classics - which we can then vote on who wins in each of several CF categories?

Excellent idea - Twat of the Year - for voting on!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · Yesterday 23:16

Mainly checking in to hear his response now; stay strong OP

TheAutumnCrow · Yesterday 23:44

@HolyCheeses, so what I think is possibly going on is a workaround on Mr Pre-nup's part whereby he's over-inflating the living costs and you'll not be paying into his mortgage at all, thus eradicating any future claim on his house you might have if you split up. (You've already confirmed he says it's a small mortgage, a ?remortgage for renovations.)

This is the spreadsheet so far:

food £1,400
cleaner £200 per month
council tax £150 £300 per month [you amended this]
sky £180
home insurance £100
dog walking £260
sewer waste water £30
boiler type coverage £30
garden maintenance £50
Total of above = £2,550

You said the total was approx £3,020 from memory.

We need to add in also for this large house the following (and these are conservative guesses):

energy costs (gas, electricity) circa £250
water costs (meter or set bill) circa 40
vet insurance and costs for dogs circa £50
cars / travel costs circa £200 minimum
All other stuff

The total's already way over £3,020. It's £3,090 and rising.

This means he doesn't (can't) actually have a mortgage on this house. I think he's going to take your money as a monthly bank transfer though, and make a 'profit' on it, so to speak, while letting you think you're paying into the mortgage and building up your ability to make a proportional future claim.

The alternative is that he has an even more bonkers scheme going on, or he's an idiot. But it all sounds mega dodgy and I'm glad you're out.

TwistedWonder · Yesterday 23:52

CautiousLurker2 · Yesterday 19:12

WhoTF has voted OP is unreasonable??!! Mind blown…

My money is on shuggles

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