HolyCheeses and Mary… the spreadsheet, the bullshit bingo and the aftermath. Part deux

[HolyCheeses]

Was asked to start a thread.

started a thread.

I thought the same. Best to give him a heads up that things won't be going how he is imagining they will, and he should cut his cloth accordingly

Blatant placemark for when he realises you’re not providing care to his parents

OP has been asking for an age to sort out finances, kept her own house renovation on hold for months and made other decisions (and held off on decisions) on the basis of this move, but he's kept her dangling. It's fine for her to take a week, or more, to be able to discuss this in a manner she is comfortable with. It's not her responsibility to make up for him making unreasonable assumptions about her willingness to subsidise his lifestyle choices.

Can you imagine? He’s going to have to tell Ted and Sheila that he needs more money from them.
Whatever this guy does for a living it’s not been his greatest work this plan, has it?
A quick waft of a spreadsheet and everyone but him is paying the mortgage.
There is no way most men would move their parents into an annexe if they were single.
This is like employing a free carer by stealth - Mum is much more comfy having another lady taking her to the GP. She says you are like a daughter to her.
And as for the amounts on that spreadsheet where is he doing the food shop - Harrods?
And I bet the Sky bill is high because he’s got every sports channel on it as well.
We are going to have a new spreadsheet next week - passive aggressive beauties designed to guilt OP into moving to Manipulative Mansion.

Sadly this is so true

I get where you are coming from, and wonder ge realised op could subsidise his lifestyle. Did ge buy the house prior to op, abd if do surely he should gave fractured costs and affordability then? Is thus v part of getting a mortgage? What has gone wrong that he needs someone now.

Doing the same is just her stooping to his level and going tit for tat. She doesn't need to string him along like he has.

It sounds as if he’s been stringing the OP along for weeks, if not months or years! A week or so on her side is hardly stringing him along to anything like the same extent.

How about make a counter proposal, one that advantges you to the same extent. Be v curious to see how lovingly he responds...

That’s good, you can bet he wouldn’t be expecting a counter proposal! I bet all the wonderful wise women on this thread who are good at figures could be persuaded to produce a counter-proposal spreadsheet to the OP’s advantage!

It is all turning to a circus now. What’s the point of this thread now? She decided to dump him, good for her and?

the man made it a circus...but imagine he realises she is worth having her in his life and he is a dick losing her and actually proposes a marriage and a generous loving attitude to money, not abusing her good heart....is he capable of that much change in over a week?

But why continue it? Say he agrees to keep her - she still wants to leave him.

She just needs to break up with him and extract herself. She doesn't need the games.

Yeah its always Kev who drives a Ford Fiesta and lives in a one bedroom flat who bangs on about gold diggers

A phrase i learnt during Covid was They are the very thing that they accuse you of

Yep You see it on the who pays on dates threads ALL the time.

No it isn’t. She isn’t talking about stringing him along. She’s talking about the first opportunity to talk face to face, which is in just a few days.

You've just described my ex husband!!

Hi All
Its done. I did not want to wait any longer

I decided to organise a day/night with a friend who’s not far from the city he lives in and have an update.

I won’t be adding too many further updates but suffice to say he did indeed reveal himself a bit more.

We met in a very nice coffee shop I thought somewhere neutral would be best. He was pretty shocked then I got served quite a volley.

We had in the medley:

What a waste of time it’s been being with you
You’ve been stringing me on all this time
I didn’t mean 50:50 obviously because there are more than 2 people living there
I was going to ask you to marry me
What if I could pay the mortgage off completely in 2 years?
I don’t like all the design you did in the house and now I am stuck with it
I’d never have dumped you
I think that’s the long and short
My parents love you so much
You cannot be better off without me that’s just a excuse

I paid half my bill then left!

Love the saying ‘throw this one back in the ocean’

Thanks all for your advice - I really did need it. He blocked me on everything and wrote a long FB post before he did that -

Now for life to really start alone x

Bugger, all I needed was "gold digger" and I'd have got full house!

Well done, and hope you're alright OP! 💐

Well done! What a prick.

The BB was right. I think he's ticked nearly every box... How callous he sounds.

Also noted that for someone who has been so vague on arrangements and never had the brain space/time to go into details of it would work, it didn't take him any time to marshall his arguments and protests did it?.. Sounds like he didn't even has to think twice to come out with those nasty comments. And the mean FB post too.

"Of course it wouldn't be 50/50 because there would be other people living there." Does he mean his parents. Its not what he said at first.

Plus. "My parents love you so much"... the cheek of it. Now you've got to feel guilty for disappointing his parents. Throwing in anything to churn up the guilt factor.

Lucky escape OP.
Hope you are feeling OK after that blastback.

I 100% did not get gold digger!

I think he got one that wasn’t on the bingo card. Does that mean he won? I mean, @HolyCheeses has won anyway, but still…