To be so angry after watching "Love on the Spectrum"

[Jobs4kids]

As the parent of two high functioning young adults. Admittedly I only watched one episode (no wish to watch anymore) but was dismayed to see that all the autistic people featured were infantised and presumably picked for their entertainment value (awwww bless them). I actually watched it after overhearing a colleague say how funny it was.

I feel it's representative of just one type of autistic person - those that come across as frankly odd (for want of a better word), obviously autistic with terrible social skills, and who in many cases can't live independently/attend mainstream education. It's an extremely wide spectrum and many people with ASD, such as my kids, don't come across like that all! My son, while quite quiet, has an excellent job and interacts in public very normally (can be a bit quirky behind closed doors though!) My daughter is away at uni and comes across as very outgoing and socially able with a large circle of friends, including a few who are also high functioning ASD. Many of her newer friends don't know she's autistic (only brings it up if relevant to the conversation) and she says most she's told seem surprised, although one remarked "ah that's why you're so good at chess!". That's not to say being autistic doesn't cause her a lot of difficulty - she's an expert masker, which is why she wasn't diagnosed until nearly 18, and there are times she needs to go into hibernation as her social battery gets depleted as all the acting "normal" is incredibly exhausting. She also constantly worries about how she comes across, replaying interactions in her head and is prone to depression, anxiety and self harming (has started counselling to help manage all this). She can also meltdown in private. While she's not had a serious relationship as yet, she's had a lot of interest (no surprise, she's extremely attractive) and I worry some may be put off upon finding out she's autistic, especially after watching programmes like this!

I think it's a shame they don't also include people like my kids and some of their friends in the programme to demonstrate the vastness of the spectrum or it because they would make very boring TV as you couldn't laugh at them?!

Sorry for the rant but both my husband and myself were so cross after watching this and pray my kids don't see it!

I can’t get past the “my kids are ASD but not like those freaks” attitude in your post!

This. The show wouldn’t make any sense if everyone on there lived a pretty normal life. It would just be dating. It’s clearly geared towards people who have more struggles then your dc

This. Your children are clearly highly functioning and the ‘odd’ ones you describe have much higher needs than yours.

I don’t support a show that takes advantage of people this way, but your attitude is disgraceful!

This. Why is it an issue for you if your sc are much higher functioning, more socially adept, people don’t know they are autistic unless told etc?
how would you feel if people spoke about your dc like you have these young people?

Why would you pray that your kids don’t see it? Surely they are aware that there are people whose autism causes considerably more difficulties with their functioning than they have? I’m glad your children are doing well in life, at university with good social circles. But why do you want those on the more severe side of the spectrum to be hidden away? I haven’t seen this season but I have seen other episodes of this show and it’s always been very sensitively done and is quite heartwarming as well as educating people as to the sort of challenges faced by people with autism

Considering you have children that have ASD you are extremely negative about other peoples children who have greater needs. IMHO the show has been made sensitively and shows the diverse needs people who are looking for the same thing in life

"I don’t support a show that takes advantage of people this way, but your attitude is disgraceful!"

I agree. Doesn't want her children grouped with that type of autism ( except presumably when there is something in it for them).

Can't have your precious angels being lumped in with those 'odd' autistic folk eh.

Yeh this is a weird post ! I am not a fan of shows like this because I worry about vulnerable people being exploited.
my DD is autistic but she manages to an extent with adaptions made but had friendships / socialises and I am most thankful for that.
I coukd hit imagine calling anyone with ASsd because it don’t match her as “ odd “ or be offended that they are not showing her level of ASD.

I would be equally angry if my kids were lower functioning as I feel the programme is taking the piss out of the participants and it's done for entertainment value. I don't understand why they can't include some higher functioning people who while may initially be able to get dates but struggle further down the line when the differences & struggles become more evident as they progress into a relationship.

Yes but that is not about your children is it ?

How can you have a condition that impaires social communication and interaction with others, involves repetitive/restrictive behaviours but not come across as a bit odd to others? Perhaps your children are the ones Uta Frith was talking about in that article a few weeks ago, about how some are misdiagnosed with ASD.

I'm sure the programme is vile in the ways that you mention, OP. Utterly vile. And I have never watched it, for exactly that reason. But the selection, for entertainment purposes, of that particular stereotype/narrow slice is less infuriating than society's current obsessive focus on high-functioning people with autism -- people whose autism is not intrinsically a disability, but at most generates an extra vulnerability to mental illnesses.

I find that focus to be way more damaging because it pushes more severely affected people further towards the margins. I was shocked to attend a healthcare research conference recently and see that it was perfectly possible to present research as being 'about autism' when in fact it only looked at high-functioning people with autism. It seemed to replicate the strong MN focus on that very narrow range of the spectrum

Hence, I imagine, the push towards the potential new diagnosis of 'profound autism'.

So, yes, I agree with your shock at the exploitation of the autistic people in the programme, but not with your implicit claim that the narrow range of autistic people who currently dominate discourse about autism (high-functioning 'normal presenting') are wronged by under-representation.

I’m a SEN mum and I think love on the spectrum captures beautifully the challenges and struggles of an autistic person.
Theres no piss taking, they are all different, and successfully getting on with their lives. They are not depicted in a negative way at all.

Why would your extremely attractive, clever and successful kids need this kind of support and representation? They are just so ‘high functioning’. I’ve got autistic DC myself but never seen the show. I’ve heard it’s sensitively handled. My oldest was diagnosed at 8 so considerably more impaired (social and emotional, not intellectual) than your DC but she’s got a long term boyfriend at 18. She doesn’t need this type of show and maybe your DC don’t either?

I agree. Both Ds (aged 14) and I have autism. Ds is very much like those in the programme - quite severe autism, attends an autism specialist school- we both love the programme. It’s good to see diversity in programmes. Where else are we going to see people like this? It’s wonderful it’s so popular. Neither of us feel it’s poking fun at anyone. Most people just want to see them succeed. Your attitude is very odd.

Sorry, @DoubleShotEspressox , I shouldn't have assumed that the programme was exploitative. It sounds from your description that it isn't. xxx

If you’ve never watched it how can you even have an opinion on it?

Because it's not that type of show. You're saying you don't like it and wouldn't like it if your kids were lower functioning but also say you wish they featured people like your kids on their programme?

I agree with this. They are not making fun of the people on the show, they are showing them as extremely lovable, caring, warm and witty people who share the same challenges as everyone else when it comes to finding love. I first watched it and braced myself for feeling offended or uncomfortable, but none of those feelings emerged. It is just such a heart-warming show.

I have always thought of it as a heart warming programme rather than one to laugh at. You don't like it OP and have decided never to watch it again which is fine but you don't come across very well especially given you have autistic children.

This is such a strange post. There are so many programmes that depict clever autistic people who date and live happy lives.
There aren’t a lot of programmes so show the challenges many autistic people face (I am not going to use a functioning label).
Many of the contestants have become very famous and built careers for themselves via their social media. This is incredible as it would be challenging for them to have conventional jobs.

Your attitude seems really quite awful about other autistic people.

I love the show and didn't find it explorative at all. (I'm high functioning ASD, as are my children)

@Jobs4kidsyour daughter sounds just like my daughter in every way. Autistic plus adhd. Big circle of friends, no long lasting relationships unfortunately. Called quirky by close friends but I doubt too many others would notice if have brief contact as she masks it. Unfortunately recovering at home with us at the moment as had meningitis and it’s set her back significantly. However, yes LOTS is set up to entertain and it’s not ethical.

I think the show is great. I have ASD, 'high functioning' (for want of a better word) like your children are, and this programme covers those with a much higher level of support needs (though they have also on earlier seasons shown people who are less obviously impaired by it). I agree that the format at the beginning can feel a bit infantilising, where they list their likes and dislikes for example, but really it shows them learning how to navigate relationships, compromise etc. I recognise traits of myself, and also appreciate how much harder it must be for those less able to mask. It in no way is taking the piss out of them.