AIBU to think constant name-calling and shouting from DH is unacceptable?

[Thattimeagain88]

DH makes no secret of the fact he thinks I am stupid (or thick as he puts it) because I don't always answer questions exactly how he expects (or wants) or because I sometime mis interpret what he says (can't possibly be anything to do with him not explaining what he means, its all on me)

I am actually quite clever, or book smart (I am a Senior Analyst) but do admit that sometimes my common sense isn't the same as his, but I have enough common sense to have made it the grand age of 38 and have 2 children who are doing just fine.

Our washing machine has broken so today he was measuring it. He said to me just note down the numbers I give you. I will be the one ordering it and researching so I need to know what the measurements are

He then starting shouting a load of numbers at me, which made no sense to me as he didn't say whether they inches or cm, and one moment shouted at 847, so I asked what measurement that was as 847 cm is 8 metres so I just asked what they were in

He then started to scream and shout at me for 15 minutes how I am thick, all he asked me to do was make a note of the measurements, as I am too thick to then convert them he would do it and then tell me what I needed to know.

I walked out of the room and left him ranting and calling me various swear words (i heard the C word mentioned)

I then later asked him something else and the answer I got back was I am too thick to understand the answer so he wasn't going to answer (it was a question on whether he wanted something added to the food shop, so now he won't be getting it anyway)

I then needed him to fill a form in for something, and he has made a mistake on it. When I looked at the form (didn't mention it) he said it was my fault I had made him do it wrong as I got him wound up

Of course YANBU
This is not acceptable, it’s verbal and emotional abuse

How long has this been happening?

You do not deserve or have to put up with it

Do either of you actually like each other?

Sometimes with the stuff I read on MN i think I must be one of very few people whose partner doesn't insult or scream at me. We both think each other are kind of great.

I couldn't live in this environment. What are you going to choose to do?

He’s a bully and a dickhead.

He sounds horrible. A really smart thing to do would be to tell him he's binned.

What are you getting out of being married to such a man child?

Oh my heart dropped when I read that there are 2 children growing up in this shit show

He’s a fucking horrible abusive nob head. Get out and stay out. Or your children will think this is how men treat women. Appalling.

I'm not a fan of the LTB mentality but that is not acceptable.. I'm so so sorry you are being treated like this

He then started to scream and shout at me for 15 minutes how I am thick,

imagine how awful this must be for the children to listen to this, day in day out

Your husband is an insecure and weak little man who knows perfectly well you are not thick.

You absolutely do not deserve this abusive prick in your life and neither do your children. I would get out of this marriage asap.

OP NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

Are you married?
what’s the financial situation?
Is he the father of the children?
have you got family support?

This is pure abuse.
Have you children hearing this?
If so, they are being emotionally abused too.

Contact a domestic abuse charity.
Tell family and friends the truth.

This is not normal, not acceptable.
It is domestic abuse.

I understand that if is so hard to end a relationship with children involved. My husband left when my son was 8...I was devastated at the time but now 20 years on I can see it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Easy for me to say.. but don't be scared and get rid of this loser... you deserve so much more

Do you think anyone would think you are unreasonable for thinking your DH shouting and name calling is unacceptable?

It’s not fault OP, disregard the replies that are blaming you for his behaviour.

i do agree you and your children need to get away from this toss pot

Come on, you already know the answer to this. Of course YANBU.

Imagine how awful it is for the OP. And then she comes to MN and reads this! Do you think she doesn’t know? It’s unhelpful and unnecessary

Your husband hates you which is why he is abusing you. I would be trying to find a way away from him.

You really should not and don't have to live like this. I would show him how clever you are by making detailed preparations to separate; make sure that you have all the financial records, copies of personal paperwork and a log of every similar incident to today's that you can remember and going forward
Once you have everything ready you can make your move.

People who respect each other don’t speak like that. This man despises you.

No, not in any way normal @Thattimeagain88 and, of course, totally unacceptable.
How long has this being going on?

Because this is horrific. Horrific for the op and horrific for her children.

However there isn’t even the whiff of any indication that the op intends to leave him

He sounds absolutely dreadful.

I would be making a plan to separate.

Ugh, what a jerk. Is he good at oral sex or something because I can’t imagine any other reason to keep him around

But how does your comment help?