to be fed up with how little I can eat now I’m menopausal?

[menno]

Since hitting menopause my metabolism seems to have just given up. I have to live on salads and protein twice a day to keep my weight stable.

I do weight training 3–4 times a week and exercise regularly. I guess that helps otherwise I would gain weight.

Last week I went out for a birthday dinner and also had afternoon tea and cake and I’ve put on 2kg. Now I have to go straight back to being super strict, like fish/meat and vegetables every night just to shift it again.

Pre-menopause I could eat more without watching everything. If I did gain, it would drop easily. Now it is hard work.

DH and teen DC put away huge amounts of food and I have to watch everything I am eating.

AIBU to find this really depressing and restrictive?

You proved me wrong.

You are short at 5' 1" which invariably impacts TDEE. The fact you haven't put on weight and your clothing size hasn't changed suggests to me (I am not a qualified PT) that you haven't built significant muscle mass with the weight training you are doing. I found that my weight increased a bit, but my measurements changed (smaller) and when I have put on weight, it is carried differently than it was before. If you build more muscle mass your BMR will be higher and you'll burn more calories even when resting. May be worth exploring that with a PT in the gym?

Edited as quoted the wrong poster. This was to thd poster who said there was nothing goid about menopause
Really? That's a shame that's your experience, as I've never felt better. I'm on HRT and have no symptoms at all, none. My hair is growing thick and fast, I've kept a 25" waist and have bags of energy. My moods are even now, so calm instead of the red mists and attacks of paranoia/tearfulness that were a monthly blight. My migraines have reduced too.
I do look after myself better than I ever have. Eat clean, don't drink, excercise regularly, prioritise sleep and supplement B vitamins and D, which may all have sonething to do with it. But generally I feel immeasurably better than pre menopause.
Not wanting to rub salt in your wounds BTW. Just wanted to give another perspective because I know younger women can dread this life stage, and it isn't always bad.

Yes I put on weight in Peri and the Corona stone over Covid which I then lost through exercise and diet. Then I went on HRT and drugs for depression/anxiety/psychosis and I’ve piled on 2 more stone. Very hard to shift. But I like food! I’m due to come off final drug (fluoxetine) this/next month and would like to come off HRT too but don’t want to get meno symptoms back again. Don’t know what to do really!

I gained around 1.5 stones in my late forties, after a lifetime of being able to eat what I wanted. I don't think the mirena (for anemia) has helped either. On the BMI chart I've moved from the middle of healthy to borderline healthy/overweight.

Interestingly my weight seems pretty stable now, it's like my baseline has simply changed. I simply cannot bear the thought of a life of permanent deprivation so I think I am just going to accept being a bit fat.

Urgh feel you! Lost 2 stone at 45 and kept it off beautifully until 49 despite covid. Then despite maintaining my good habits I sodding put it back on again when peri hit me hard at 49-50 😳. Doing what I did before is not working so i have to practically not eat all day. Even harder is that I have to model good healthy eating to teen girls one of whom is v tall and active.

I lost a stone when in psychiatric unit for 3 months as I couldn’t stomach the carb heavy food there plus one dish made me vomit. My DM brought in a huge salad with egg and feta cheese every day for me plus fruit salad pots and Philadelphia cheese breadsticks snacks. I had dips and crackers for “dinner” and crisps. I lost 2 stone doing that. But it’s quite restrictive. I like 3 meals a day and yes sadly I do snack.

Yeah in my 20s were super slim, late 20s-30 put on weight. Doesn’t help I hate the gym. But like dance, swimming and classes. Damned metabolism slowing down!

In peri though I started a new job and walked fast (so you’re slightly out of breath) to office every day for 10-15 mins. Had soup and toast for lunch. Cut carbs at night. Allowed myself odd treat (we had a treat table at work) including alcohol. Lost 2 stone in a few months. Prob 4 months total.

I also took stairs, no lifts, walked everywhere including to tube, bus stop. So really upped my steps.

I feel the same - sending lots of sympathies

Part of the frustration is people saying you must be tracking it wrong or you can eat more calories when you know you don’t lose on that. Or it’s impossible to gain 2lbs from one meal when you know you did and it didn’t come off again.
I had a particularly disastrous few months with a 1-1 young female pt who didn’t get it at all.
You know your own body.
Find what works for you. I definitely think some foods suit better. Eggs for breakfast, soup lunch, dinner of protein and veg and lots of walking suit me. No snacking.
It’s mainly down to food.
Gym and exercise obviously has benefits but makes little difference to weight loss.

I have put on a stone since starting HRT five months ago without changing my diet, I was quite shocked when I stood on the scales! My clothes don't fit right and I don't feel like me. I'm going to try changing when I eat (often eat dinner at 8pm or later due to work) and start doing some weight training. I don't want to stop the HRT as the improvement in brain fog has been amazing and I understand the wider health benefits, but I would still like to look and feel like me!

This is not normal OP. Have you had your thyroid checked to see if it's underactive? Or even your kidneys/heart to see if you're retaining lots if fluid.
Do you eat a lot of salt? That can make you retain fluid as well.

Or do you drink lots of alcohol?

Well I’ve been like this since the age of about 30 and I was not menopausal then because I had a baby at 39. But yes, ever since 30 I have to eat a keto diet to stay slim. I am 5ft 4 and a small frame. This is unfortunate as any weight I put on is immediately obvious.

I cannot eat bread.

I swapped my HRT from patches to spray. My Oestrogen levels were 167. Within.6 weeks i lost 1 stone. HRT is your answer.

Lots of studies now showing calories are not all equal and 1500 calories of unprocessed wholefoods is not same as 1500 calories more processed.
Also protein has a TEF of 40% so eating more protoein is far less likely to result in fat being gained.

Thyroid is fine.

I am teetotal, always have been. I don't have much salt.

I walk at least 10k steps a day. I am upto 11804 steps already today,

Basically, everything @MeridaBrave said.

Studies are showing that our metabolism doesn't change that much as we age, rather our calorie consumption slowly increases, our muscle mass decreases, and our non-exercise movement decreases.

"Going to the gym" is not as important as people think it is. In terms of managing and maintaining muscle resistance training and weightlifting is essential, but in terms of weight management, "the gym" amounts to less than 20% of your total calorie expenditure, with the rest being made up from non-exercise movement. If you're getting up, driving to work, sitting at a desk, driving to the gym, working out for an hour, driving home, and sitting in front of the TV, you are sedentary.

Also, if you can only lose weight by eating 800-900 calories a day, you are not counting your calories properly and are vastly underestimating what you are eating.

Same. Had been relatively fortunate all my life not to need to do too much to maintain a decent weight. Now? I’m sure I put on weight just opening the fridge. I have put on so much since hitting peri and the amount of weight I now carry around my tummy is horrifying. Have had to replace my work clothes as I just couldn’t fit in them anymore

@menno are you on HRT?

I've been counting calories and have it set to loose 0.5lb a week, I have found that if I hit my goals it does come off, but its really hard to hit the goal. My goal is 1565 and its so easy to go over by 200-250 calories and then thats the deficit gone, there is no way I could drop it to try and loose 1lb a week (or the 2lb a week I used to do in my 20s and 30s!).

I got a new job and stopped walking 40 mins a day and put on 10lb in 5 months, those steps were keeping me in deficit and becoming more sedentary put me over. They say you can't outrun a bad diet, and I do agree with this, but I used to be able to loose weight just by focusing on diet and nowadays I have to get my steps in too or it just isn't enough.

I am 50 and have lost two stone on mounjaro and am determined not to put it back on. I basically have to stick to 1200-1500 calories most days, using Nutracheck, though am trying different things like 24 hour fast once a week- tricky when I do a lot of exercise. I eat low(ish) carb, high protein and fibre and tend to stick to similar meals as it's easier. I'm not taking any mounjaro now.

I go to circuits or run Thursday/Friday, I swim on a Saturday, do gardening or gym on Sunday, yoga and run on Monday, gym on Tuesday, and also try and do 10k steps a day, but at the same time my jobs is sedentary so I'm sat down for 35+ hours a week at work whatever I do.

I had lost two and a half stone at one point, but no more was coming off even on 15mg. Now I'm on nothing at all and my weight seems to have settled half a stone over my lightest, and I'm BMI 25, and quite toned, 5'7" and a size ten.

The thing is this much effort to just stay the same is quite normal for me, as I was doing the same with slightly more calories to try to lose weight at two stone heavier than I am now, for 15+ years. Before taking mounjaro I was normal BMI briefly in 2008 before getting pregnant with DD2. Before having kids, and in my late 20s I was BMI 20. I was heavier in my teens and the weight I am now at 16, which doesn't sound too bad at 50.

No. Never been on it.

I doubt the 2kg is from tea and cake but I agree with the rest. Although for me the shift happened much earlier. In my early 20s I put away a tonne of food, did moderate exercise and had a six pack. 20 years later….yikes!

Same! Life's too short to be miserable. I expect my appetite will decrease naturally with age anyway, as seems to happen with most people. I do already have the odd evening where I think I'm just not hungry so I'll skip dinner on those nights.

I'm not obese and I don't eat loads so am just not willing to deprive myself completely. I already gave up quite heavy drinking and smoking! I imagine that's done a lot more good for me than saying no to a piece of cake.