to be fed up with how little I can eat now I’m menopausal?

[menno]

Since hitting menopause my metabolism seems to have just given up. I have to live on salads and protein twice a day to keep my weight stable.

I do weight training 3–4 times a week and exercise regularly. I guess that helps otherwise I would gain weight.

Last week I went out for a birthday dinner and also had afternoon tea and cake and I’ve put on 2kg. Now I have to go straight back to being super strict, like fish/meat and vegetables every night just to shift it again.

Pre-menopause I could eat more without watching everything. If I did gain, it would drop easily. Now it is hard work.

DH and teen DC put away huge amounts of food and I have to watch everything I am eating.

AIBU to find this really depressing and restrictive?

Oh and having gained 2 stone ive stabilised but can't shift the two stone. Ive genuinely tried and did at one stage shift about 5lb over about 3 months but it involved basically starving myself (800 cals a day) and doing a huge amount of exercise that I just don't have time to maintain.

I have a full time job & two young kids. My commute includes some walking that I can't swap for running as I have equipment to carry & no shower at work. At the moment i don't even have enough time to sleep let alone fit in more exercise. I do go to the gym while my children are in sport on a Saturday morning and we cycle or swim on a Sunday and generally lead very active lives but I just don't see how I could fit anything in in the week, I'm exhausted most of the time.

Try saying please...
Here are some ideas for a day's meals:

2 eggs = 12g plus 200g Greek yoghurt or Skyr with fruit = 20g
Add ham or feta and herbs to the eggs in an omelette for higher protein. Add a scoop of protein powder to the yoghurt/Skyr for even more protein.

Tin of tuna drained in a wrap or with a bagel with salad including spinach. Use light mayo or Greek yoghurt if liked = 30 - 35g

100g Chicken breast = 31g, 100g broccoli = 2.5g, 100g wholegrain rice = 4g
You can add other veg to the chicken and broccoli. Use wholewheat pasta in place of rice.

32+35+37.5 = 104.5g min.

Eat larger portions of lean, high protein foods to increase the amount of protein.

Kimchi and sauerkraut are great for additional veg and fibre and to add flavour and gut friendly bacteria with very low calories for 100g. Kimchi goes really well with eggs. Seeded wholemeal and German style rye breads are higher in protein and fibre compared to other breads. Use herbs and spices, lemon, garlic, olive oil to add flavour.

An effective workout should only take 20-30 minutes per day. Kettlebells are great for compound movements and combining strength and cardio work. Focus on 1 upper body day, one lower body day, one full body + cardio using kettlebell swings, and take at least one day full rest and one day light activity, such as swimming or incline walking on the treadmill.

Make sure the weights you're using take you close to failure.

Yes it’s shit. As well as being (post) menopausal I have an underactive thyroid. Double whammy.

To refer back to the OP’s first post, I do find it so depressing (not restrictive, bc I don’t really restrict myself, though I definitely should.

It feels like one of life’s great pleasures - food, and wine too - are being closed off to me.

I’m very overweight at 85kg (my weight shot up thanks to COVID + menopause + family bereavement + parenting young children + a bit of a bad wine habit) - and grappling with the lifestyle choices I now have to make that I never had to make before.

I love Roquefort and pâté and doughnuts and cauliflower cheese and moussaka and pasta and fruit tarts and Lindt and Rioja and ale and gratin dauphinois … and yet all I’m basically going to have to renounce these for ever, except for tiny, infrequent morsels …

It sucks :-( And I hate measuring out my food like some miserly calorie niggard every day!!

Thanks for this, there's so much generic advice out there like "what works for me will work for you" but everybody is different..

I can’t love permanently on a diet . I’ve cut out biscuits / chocolate / crisp etc and increased my protein intake. It’s as far as I’m willing to go as the weight doesn’t seem to shift anyway since hitting 50. I focus on doing exercise 4 times a week , 1 Pilates , 2 weight sessions and one aerobic ( step or Zumba or a dem sing bike) and the benefits it’s brings to my joints and my mood and im
icy happier . My goa is simply to be mobile throughout my old age now ( have back problems ). I dress to feel good and have stopped looking at the scales .
typical day could include 2 rice cakes with boiled egg , chicken spinach pasta salad , sweet potato baked with Wiltshire ham, cheese and salad . Yes I could eat less carbs ,
but I want to. Enjoy what i eat too . And it’s enough for me that i don’t eat crap .’

Yes ideally need both cardio and weights, cardio also important for heart health and keeping VO2 max high. But ultimately cardio burns a lot of calories so if you can do it and not eat the exercise calories it’s a good choice.

Underestimating the cals you consume on average, could be portion size, weekend treats, drinks, occasional snacks. But kindly what you’re doing wrong is under estimating your cals. Everyone who thinks they are non sedentary and working out, is.

im post menopause, mid fifties, I work out most days, have a sendentary job, I consume about 2000-2200 a day with more at weekends.

edit to add, I’m nine stone, bmi 20.

Absolutely and the whole dont do cardio because it releases cortisol in your 40s and makes you fat was nonsene for me. I started resembling Ms Piggy when I stopped doing cardio because of the "advice". I genuinely thought it was just me but most of the woman I know were not losing weight doing muscle training only. Weight training will make you stronger which is a good thing in your 40s but on its own its not going to make most people slimmer.

I hate this too. All my adult life I've been a size 10-12 without trying too hard. I love food and cooking and dinners/drinks with friends and family.

Now post 40 the weight creeps up so easily.I've always been active and worked out, so that's not an issue. I vascillate between thinking "I'll just have to live with being flabbier and heavier then" vs trying to restrict and control my eating more but ending up feeling so sorry for myself doing it. Life is hard!

I doubt lack of dairy specifically but yes limited diet and more importantly lack of calories and lack of weight bearing exercise.

After 6 years post menopausal I finally gave up about three weeks ago, not to overindulge but sick to the back teeth of it 12 weeks of doing exercise and eating sensibly weeks of calorie counting (1200 calories per day on an app). All to no avail. Got on the scales very nervously expecting to have gained, but was incredulous I had lost 2kg, the following two days I had dropped 300g and 400g so almost another 1kg in two days.
All I've done differently is
Plenty of water
No alcohol
More raw food

Maybe it's all a dream! Honestly keep expecting to get on the scales and it's shot back to where it was.

Same. I tried not weight myself for a month and my weight went up.

I can’t exercise at all due to my M.S, I walk the dogs and that’s about it. I’ve already commented earlier that I follow the 16-8 intermittent fasting regime and it’s worked. I’d love to do regular exercises but it’s impossible with my spasticity, far too painful.

I'm restricted too, but by arthritis. I've had a double hip replacement and a knee. I can walk for about an hour, but my metal knee does hurt, especially in cold weather. I've gone to this from being a long distance runner who entered races every weekend pretty much. So, from now on, its restricted calories and Pilates to keep some flexibility.

Have you had to reduce your food intake a lot?

If you want to work out but cannot due to physical issues, I'd think about getting a personal trainer for a couple of weeks. There will be some weight-bearing exercises you can do; they'll just need to be adapted.

Make sure you get someone with the right qualifications, not just a generic PT, preferably someone with a degree in either physio or sports science. I have a level 3 PT certificate and a certificate in kettlebell instruction, and I know nothing compared to DD's boyfriend, who is a third-year sports science student at uni.

He's very shy, so he never speaks to me, but I'm constantly getting messages from DD saying, "Colin said, why were you doing those kinds of lunges? These ones are more effective, and why do you eat peanut butter for your snack? It is not a complete protein unless it is paired with wholegrain bread." Colin is also very good at suggesting alternate exercises for things I find hard because of my dodgy elbow.

No breakfast anymore, except for a special treat once in a blue moon. That seems to help the most. HRT hasn't helped at all and, as I said earlier, has grown my boobs from a DD to a FF or G cup. I need to keep taking it though as I'm worried about osteoporosis (mum had it).

My mum also has osteoporosis. A bone density check can put your mind at rest.

I am also a non breakfast eater. Just cups of tea in the mornings now. I would rather save the calories for later!

I have a set of scales that calculates calories. I track everything on my fitness pal. I was working with a nutritionist nurse for a while.
I prioritise protein, I’ve been almost booze free since I started the GLP-1, as I react so badly to it. Either a hangover or hot flushes kick in incredibly quickly.
I drink more water than Nemo every day.
I might have a big meal at Christmas or on a birthday.

I’m bored stiff as I eat the same weighed out portions every week.

I've had to drop breakfast too. I really miss my toast and avocado. Healthy fats or not, avocados are just too calorific now other than an occasional treat.

I console myself with the fact that they are not sustainably farmed.

I wouldn’t hit protein or fibre daily targets if I skipped breakfast. It’s also a nutrient dense meal that I need as I’m active most mornings

So Greek yoghurt for protein (5% fat), homemade granola with mainly nuts and seeds. Then milled flaxseeds. Plus blueberries and raspberries (also for fibre).

Also research saying those that eat breakfast tend not to overeat later in the day. So I have a decent lunch but try and eat dinner reasonably early and this is a smaller portion.

Also research saying not all calories are equal so we don’t actually absorb all the calories from nuts but get all the goodness. And the satiety.