to be fed up with how little I can eat now I’m menopausal?

[menno]

Since hitting menopause my metabolism seems to have just given up. I have to live on salads and protein twice a day to keep my weight stable.

I do weight training 3–4 times a week and exercise regularly. I guess that helps otherwise I would gain weight.

Last week I went out for a birthday dinner and also had afternoon tea and cake and I’ve put on 2kg. Now I have to go straight back to being super strict, like fish/meat and vegetables every night just to shift it again.

Pre-menopause I could eat more without watching everything. If I did gain, it would drop easily. Now it is hard work.

DH and teen DC put away huge amounts of food and I have to watch everything I am eating.

AIBU to find this really depressing and restrictive?

I have given up virtually all carbs too!

A 2kg weight gain from one dinner and one tea sounds very extreme. I'm post menopause and smallish, weigh around 57kg. My calorie requirement if sedentary is around 1.5k. If I walk a lot I can push this up to 2k. So yes, while it's harder work not to gain weight, provided I'm active I can eat a decent amount. I'm vegan and don't drink alcohol which does give me good bang for my buck calorie wise. However I eat loads of carbs and wouldn't think twice about the odd big dinner in the context of overall moderate eating. It might be worth getting checked for other conditions if you're struggling that much. Sometimes the right HRT can help too.

I forgot to put sugar on the list and I don't drink*

I’m very similar to @5128gap, I average around 1.8 - 2k a day, do lots of cardio, walking, badminton, HIT workouts, I have a carb heavy diet, always have, don’t touch alcohol at all and maintain my weight, I don’t think high protein diets suit everyone despite the claims of it making you feel full, it doesn’t work for me at all, only bread, potatoes and veg fill me up. I also think cardio seems to have gone out of fashion and the lift heavy mantra again isn’t working for everyone.

I have definitely started to struggle now I'm older. I don't think it's the amount of food I'm eating but what I reach for when permanently knackered.

If I'm strict with myself and calorie count and strict to 1800 calories then I lose weight. I just make bad choices when I'm tired and I end up not counting calories properly for a few days.

What do you weigh and how tall are you? Has your weight increased since you started weight training? Has your clothing size increased. Have you tracked calories in everything you eat and drink for a week and also looked at your TDEE?

Invariably on these kinds of threads I find the OP does not answer these kinds of questions.

It is not metabolism. Studies have shown (I can't provide a citation), but I'm sure I saw it on a Michael Mosley programme, that it is not metabolism slowing, it is more to do with activity decreasing as we age. I've successfully lost weight eating plenty of food with a high protein content without cutting out carbs. I have put weight on when I have repeatedly eaten high calorie foods, drunk lots of wine in a week and not tracked calories. If you're not sleeping well, have a lot on and are finding things stressful, it can be difficult to control your weight.

I agree. You have to do a lot of lifting to gain the sort of muscle that speeds your metabolism. So while strength training is important to stave off atrophy, I don't see it as a good weight control tool. I think it can actually result in a false sense of security.
Similarly with low carb. I have friends who avoid carbs and cant understand why they dont lose weight, but when totting up the calories they consume from meat and high fat dairy, they are exceeding the amount they burn by some margin.
I know CICO has gone out of fashion, but its the only reliable way I find of managing weight.

Not in the same boat but have insulin resistant PCOS and my weight was just going up and up. I’ve been on WLI and am still maintaining my weight loss on them. I’ve experimented a couple of times with reducing doses and had a period of 3 weeks off then, it’s depressing how little calories my body actually needs to sustain my fairly active lifestyle. People don’t believe me but I do gain on anything over about 1200 calories. 1000-1150 is what I have most day, I have to be careful about prioritising balanced nutrition and on the odd occasion feeling okay about having a bagel or a piece of chocolate 😂 I mean ffs it’s madness tbh but it’s my body and I know it.
Carbs are sort of an enemy but I do eat them because I exercise quite a lot and I need to be fuelled partly by them. When I was in France I noticed I was eating baguettes daily and I came home 2lbs lighter, I only eat jasons bread at home or homemade because it’s UPF free but also I eat bread about once a week, rice and potatoes etc on other days, but I came to the conclusion that french baguettes are so minimally processed, I didn’t feel any bloating or excessive toilet trips which I sometimes find happens when I eat bread at home.
Anyway, sorry, I wandered on to this thread and though I’m not yet menopausal I thought I’d add my thoughts into the mix!

What do you weigh and how tall are you?

55kg 5'1

Has your weight increased since you started weight training?

No, only when I eat something different to normal does my weight go up

Has your clothing size increased.

No

Have you tracked calories in everything you eat and drink for a week and also looked at your TDEE?

Yes. My TDEE is 1200

My mum & aunts did the same & then later the weight just came off again.

People incorrectly believe that oestrogen is only made by the ovaries.
Body fat creates oestrogen too.
When oestrogen level decline naturally your body will work to produce more fat cells to make more oestrogen. This is why women put on weight round their middle later in life.
In relation to a 2kg weight gain. This will be fluid. If your body is used to a restrictive diet and you suddenly have something different you will be likely to bloat/gain fluid

I put on just over a stone as soon as I turned 44. I also became very tired. I naturally tend to fast about 12 hours most days as I rarely eat after 6pm until 7 am the next morning but I also have put in cardio work outs like HIIT classes again. I piled on an extra 8 pounds with purely weight training. It wasnt inflammation as even weeks later it was still there (and the scales were still going up) plus i was looking the biggest i ever had done. Since cutting down to 2 lower weight lifting sessions a week and starting 3 x 30 to 45 minutes HIIT sessions a week I am losing weight.

Yes that’s true, unlikely to gain enough to increase metabolism however, if you lift weights and eat below TDEE then unlikely to build any muscle. My TDEE at 163cm is 2,221 - but that’s with daily excesses and a step average of about 15k.

A TDEE of 1,200 at 55kg / 5 1 seems unlikely / impossible. Are you sure that’s not BMR? Based on 4x exercise a week TDEE is around 2,000.

I have never struggled with weight. Always been very lucky. And then suddenly, menopause hit and the weight just piled on, no matter how little I ate or how much exercise/weights I did. I just got heavier. This went on for about 5 years and it was so depressing. At the beginning of last year, I suddenly lost 3kg without trying. I then decided to cut back on sugar, no chocolate, cakes, biscuits or sweets, not to lose weight but because I ate too much of them. In the past year I have lost about 9 kg. Might be worth trying?

I hear you.

It's depressing how little food a post menopausal body seems to need.

I am extremely active but I really have to watch what I eat now very carefully. I'm lucky I don't have a sweet tooth but a bag of crisps now needs to be factored into the daily calorie total.

I have nothing but bad news for you. It’s going to get worse! I’m a gym user, do lots of walking as well and if I eat normally (I slice of toast or porridge for breakfast, 2 x fruit at lunchtime and small dinner no alcohol, the I put on weight. To get that off, unless I eat less than 700/800 calories a day I can’t lose a gram. It’s awful.

To be honest, apart from periods stopping there isn't a single positive thing about menopause. Weight, hair thinning/loss, bone loss, hot flushes, insomnia, brain fog.. the joyful list goes on. Oh to go back 20 years!

Did you misunderstand tdee? 1200 would be bed/chair bound.

Yes it's absolutely miserable.

To lose weight I need to eat 1000 calories, above 1400 I gain. I love food, I used to love cooking but it's just pointless now as I can't eat it.

I put on 3 stone in perimenopause whilst going to the gym 5 times a week and eating exactly the same as before.

How does happen though? 700-800 calories a day is hardly anything, then will you have to drop to even more than that to lose as the years go by?

Yeah, I'm starting to realise that I can't eat carbs either. If I eat low carb and take lots of exercise that seems to be the best solution.

it is not metabolism slowing, it is more to do with activity decreasing as we age

I started working a year ago in a fairly sedentary job. If this above statement is right, then that's obviously had an impact. I wasn't working before and I did take more exercise. Clearly I need to find/make time for that again.

It is very annoying. When you are young you could eat pretty much anything you wanted then to suddenly find you cannot is a shock to the system.
The low carb thing is very hard to sustain. Especially if you love carbs.
But yes, your metabolism takes a hike.

I did make a mistake.

It is 1700 a day but that makes me gain weight.

I just did my TDEE and it said 1850 calories per day, but if I ate that I'd gain consistently. I've worked out that I need to eat no more than 1600 calories to maintain and less to lose.

Me too - it’s rubbish when ive been used to eating and drinking whatever i wanted. Damn you, hormones and short stature!
I read you need 10 calories a year less every year you age over 20…i shall only be able to have half an apple and a black coffee per day if i get to 75!