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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be furious after neighbour’s child sprayed me and washing?

99 replies

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 22:50

We already have issues with next door because the mum cannot manage the 7yo boy’s behaviour at all (I’d argue she doesn’t necessarily make much effort to from what we see and hear through the very thin walls to be fair though). He completely runs rings round her, the banging (often on the party wall) and screaming/swearing/shouting from him to the mum is awful, when the step-dad (who lives there) is off work it’s even worse somehow, and since they had another baby last October he’s been loads worse and you hear him start off and then the baby is screaming, and you either hear absolutely nothing from the adults or they start screaming too. She’s admitted before they often just try to ignore him because he can become physically violent towards her but listening to him is awful, it’s like he’s an abusive husband the way he goes on screaming and swearing at her. We do talk to them about it and she does get his grandparents to have him some of the time on weekends to try and give us all some respite from it which we’re grateful for, so we’ve been trying to just tolerate it as best we can.

Then this afternoon I was pegging out washing, I heard them come into the garden and the mum told the boy not to spray the hosepipe in the direction of the shared fence because ‘the neighbours are putting washing on the line’. While all this is going on here chickens were out of the (very smelly) enclosure roaming around and it just seemed like the usual general chaos going on there. I just carried on pegging the washing.

Our driveways are at the back of our back gardens so I don’t know if that’s where she went but the next minute, I got absolutely soaked and he was cackling spraying the hosepipe over the fence which sprayed all the washing line full of clothes I’d just took out of a spin to peg out.

I shouted over and said ‘[boy’s name] please can you stop that’, to which he continued and carried on laughing. She clearly heard me but never said anything to me and again told him to only spray it the other way and on the ‘rain’ setting ‘not the jet’. Seconds later he sprayed me and the washing again laughing his little head off. It was definitely on some sort of jet setting the way it was coming over.

I fully appreciate that for him this must have been the height of hilarity, but by this point all my hair was wet, my top was wet, and I was utterly cheesed off. I ended up shouting to the mother by name and said ‘he’s just sprayed me and the washing twice you know’. She again didn’t respond directly to me at all and just told him she wouldn’t let him use the hose again if he was going to do that.

It then went quiet for a few minutes and she then randomly started having a go at him that she hadn’t known he was in the garden and thought he had gone into the house and was in his bedroom, she complained that she was now going to have to go and do the whole garden with just the watering can because he couldn’t behave with the hosepipe - I can only assume she said that thinking it would ameliorate the situation with me, but I’d heard them from the moment they came into the garden so I knew that she knew full well he was in the garden. At no point did she directly respond to me or even say sorry.

AIBU to be pretty fuming about this? I’m so ground down with this child’s behaviour and the mother’s lackadaisical approach to parenting, but don’t know if I’m just over reacting or they actually really are just nightmare neighbours and I’m justified in being really upset and annoyed about today.

OP posts:
SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 20/04/2026 11:02

Flushitdown · 20/04/2026 10:59

And so what if he is. Really irks me how some people use it as a get out of jail free card.

Yep lazy parenting card and I say that with two SEN kids myself! Over my dead body would they be allowed to behave like that.

user1469565563 · 20/04/2026 11:12

As a parent of a ND son with PDA and explosive behaviour, I can completely see why she is "afraid to parent him" . My son (at 7 ) would have delighted in spraying me and laundry with the hose, but never a neighbour!!

They sound like nightmare neighbours, and SS definitely need to get involved if the mother can't cope. I know i got SS involved...and it helped. It what they're there for.

dreamiesformolly · 20/04/2026 11:21

Zebedee999 · 20/04/2026 09:59

Where does a 7 year old even learn to swear from?

That said some of the posters on MN have potty mouths so perhaps that type of mother.

Bloody hell, unclench. It’s really insulting (not to mention incorrect) to assume people who swear are more likely to be bad parents.

Drpawpawspaw · 20/04/2026 11:21

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

seriously??

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 20/04/2026 11:24

I’d have bollocked him and his mother if I’m honest. I don’t like telling off other peoples kids, but sometimes you just have to.

334bu · 20/04/2026 11:35

Is this not a case of common assault? Perhaps police should be involved?

MedlarJelly · 20/04/2026 11:47

God what a little horror. I wonder if he's like that because the mum has just never disciplined him. I dread to think what he'll be like as a teenager or adult.
I wonder if his teachers can manage him

OttersOnAPlane · 20/04/2026 12:00

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:00

🤞 - feel like this is the sort of thing you have to declare when you sell though isn’t it that’s my only concern.

As you're planning to move I wouldn't do much about the little shite beyond speaking to the parents so you don't have to disclose a dispute.

Who gives a stuff if he might be ND! So are two of mine and I would NEVER let them get away with that shit.

Avantiagain · 20/04/2026 12:10

"Is this not a case of common assault? Perhaps police should be involved?"

He's 7. The police will not be interested in a 7 year old spraying a hose.

NoKnit · 20/04/2026 12:24

Honestly if people think that social services need to get involved over kids being loud and answering back and messing about with a hosepipe then I do worry for those kids who actually do need support from social services.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 20/04/2026 12:26

I voted you are being unreasonable by mistake. He sounds like a real pain

Inmyuggs · 20/04/2026 12:39

The kid has some behaviour disorder that isnt medicated or dealt with
Good luck living next door to that nightmare.
We moved from ferals best move ever !

Holesinmesocks · 20/04/2026 12:42

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

FFS, he shouldn't have been spraying it over the fence to start with.
Doesn't matter if washing on line or not, parents sound overwhelmed at least and totally hopeless at worse.
ND is NOT always an excuse for bad behaviour, bad parenting or lack of is ususally the reason.

MedlarJelly · 20/04/2026 12:53

NoKnit · 20/04/2026 12:24

Honestly if people think that social services need to get involved over kids being loud and answering back and messing about with a hosepipe then I do worry for those kids who actually do need support from social services.

He's violent to the mum. Better to help the family now than wait til he's a violent teenager or adult.

FrangipaniBlue · 20/04/2026 13:06

Franjipanl8r · 19/04/2026 23:19

I’d have shouted “parent your child or I’ll call social services” over the fence. You were too polite. You need to act more unhinged to cope with neighbours like that.

I love that we have similar user names and think alike!

I’d have got my own hosepipe out and turned it on the pair of them.

hididdlyho · 20/04/2026 13:11

I don't understand why she wouldn't instinctively apologise on her child's behalf, if ND somehow prevented him for apologising to you himself. He's never going to learn if there are no consequences for his poor behaviour.

TurnipsAndParsnips · 20/04/2026 13:19

Report to social services. Or grab the little shit by the scruff of his neck and put the fear of God into him. And then drop him in the chicken shit. Are they allowed to keep chickens?

liamharha · 20/04/2026 13:19

I parent a wild child who has considerable SEN needs she attends Sen school and sounds pretty similar to your neighbours child ,,it's brutal and no one will feel worse about it than the parents .
I've phoned social services on myself for help and support .
They are their to help ,,maybe contact the little lads school as they will be able to refer her to early help,,she probably is really overwhelmed and exhausted and not got a clue how to deal with him ,,no kids come with a text book and sen kids require a big and detailed one .
From the neighbours pov I know I've tried everything and sometimes the behaviour just continues so try not to judge too harshly ,,,I'm extremely lucky to have lovely understanding neighbours and I also apologise and acknowledge when behaviour is is not being dealt with . Their is no magic wand,and some on here will parrot ND isn't a excuse cos my child dosent behave like that ,sometimes it is and I know cos I'm on the thick of it often crying my and pulling my hair out in frustration. Its a lonely scary place as a parent .

Paveparadiseputupaparkinglot · 20/04/2026 13:33

It’s annoying but I’d feel more sorry for her as he sounds like a little twat!

JMSA · 20/04/2026 14:38

It depresses me that such people can procreate.

BauhausOfEliott · 20/04/2026 14:51

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 19/04/2026 23:00

Are social services involved with the family OP? It sounds as though they should be. Trying to ignore a 7year old boy sounds like neglect. Him responding with violence doesn't really sound surprising.
Perhaps you should be reporting what is going on in the family ?

I love how people on Mumsnet think that if someone's child is badly behaved or you don't approve of their parenting, you can somehow just get social services to sort it all out.

Having a horribly behaved kid isn't a social services issue. Walking away and ignoring a child who screams at you in temper isn't a social services issue. Being utterly ineffectual at discipline isn't a social services issue.

If the OP was describing a child who seemed scared of his parents, was underfed, dirty, not going to school or was being physically or verbally abused, that would be a social services matter. But that doesn't appear to be what's going on here.

OP, YANBU at all to be furious.

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 20/04/2026 16:16

BauhausOfEliott · 20/04/2026 14:51

I love how people on Mumsnet think that if someone's child is badly behaved or you don't approve of their parenting, you can somehow just get social services to sort it all out.

Having a horribly behaved kid isn't a social services issue. Walking away and ignoring a child who screams at you in temper isn't a social services issue. Being utterly ineffectual at discipline isn't a social services issue.

If the OP was describing a child who seemed scared of his parents, was underfed, dirty, not going to school or was being physically or verbally abused, that would be a social services matter. But that doesn't appear to be what's going on here.

OP, YANBU at all to be furious.

Have you actually read OP's posts?

It's not a question of " disapproving" of the parenting style. It's a question of being concerned for the welfare of the child and the way the parent is obviously not coping.

Of course OP has a right to be annoyed at this incident. But so many posters laying the blame on the child when there is obviously something far wrong in the family home is very disappointing .

strugglingwithlife · 20/04/2026 17:56

Why can't a child just be badly behaved without people jumping to "oh they must be ND"!

JMSA · 20/04/2026 19:13

Paveparadiseputupaparkinglot · 20/04/2026 13:33

It’s annoying but I’d feel more sorry for her as he sounds like a little twat!

Look to the parents and therein lies the blame.

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