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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be furious after neighbour’s child sprayed me and washing?

99 replies

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 22:50

We already have issues with next door because the mum cannot manage the 7yo boy’s behaviour at all (I’d argue she doesn’t necessarily make much effort to from what we see and hear through the very thin walls to be fair though). He completely runs rings round her, the banging (often on the party wall) and screaming/swearing/shouting from him to the mum is awful, when the step-dad (who lives there) is off work it’s even worse somehow, and since they had another baby last October he’s been loads worse and you hear him start off and then the baby is screaming, and you either hear absolutely nothing from the adults or they start screaming too. She’s admitted before they often just try to ignore him because he can become physically violent towards her but listening to him is awful, it’s like he’s an abusive husband the way he goes on screaming and swearing at her. We do talk to them about it and she does get his grandparents to have him some of the time on weekends to try and give us all some respite from it which we’re grateful for, so we’ve been trying to just tolerate it as best we can.

Then this afternoon I was pegging out washing, I heard them come into the garden and the mum told the boy not to spray the hosepipe in the direction of the shared fence because ‘the neighbours are putting washing on the line’. While all this is going on here chickens were out of the (very smelly) enclosure roaming around and it just seemed like the usual general chaos going on there. I just carried on pegging the washing.

Our driveways are at the back of our back gardens so I don’t know if that’s where she went but the next minute, I got absolutely soaked and he was cackling spraying the hosepipe over the fence which sprayed all the washing line full of clothes I’d just took out of a spin to peg out.

I shouted over and said ‘[boy’s name] please can you stop that’, to which he continued and carried on laughing. She clearly heard me but never said anything to me and again told him to only spray it the other way and on the ‘rain’ setting ‘not the jet’. Seconds later he sprayed me and the washing again laughing his little head off. It was definitely on some sort of jet setting the way it was coming over.

I fully appreciate that for him this must have been the height of hilarity, but by this point all my hair was wet, my top was wet, and I was utterly cheesed off. I ended up shouting to the mother by name and said ‘he’s just sprayed me and the washing twice you know’. She again didn’t respond directly to me at all and just told him she wouldn’t let him use the hose again if he was going to do that.

It then went quiet for a few minutes and she then randomly started having a go at him that she hadn’t known he was in the garden and thought he had gone into the house and was in his bedroom, she complained that she was now going to have to go and do the whole garden with just the watering can because he couldn’t behave with the hosepipe - I can only assume she said that thinking it would ameliorate the situation with me, but I’d heard them from the moment they came into the garden so I knew that she knew full well he was in the garden. At no point did she directly respond to me or even say sorry.

AIBU to be pretty fuming about this? I’m so ground down with this child’s behaviour and the mother’s lackadaisical approach to parenting, but don’t know if I’m just over reacting or they actually really are just nightmare neighbours and I’m justified in being really upset and annoyed about today.

OP posts:
L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:33

Twooclockrock · 19/04/2026 23:26

I have two ND kids and they would be absolutely breated if they did any of that. Plus they wpuldn't, if they have a hose then they are supervised and they wilm come inside if they start to be idiots with the hose. Nd or not, you don't purposefully spray water into your neighbours garden and do it several times whilst laughing about it.
This isnt a 'because of ND' aituation. This is a because his parents arent parenting situation.
Iam not sure what you can do about it tbh.
About the chickens, I did once call the rspca on my neighbour, they were junkies living with three kids and a bunch of animals and their garden was full of broken glass windows and their kjds and dogs were just climbing and playing out there.
You could call rspca if you think the chickens are not being looked after and hope they will also pick up on any other neglect and inform any other agencies that need to get involved.

Oh she dotes on the chickens, she’s always out feeding them and I sometimes hear her talking to them, but they are on the bare ground rather than a raised coop so the chicken poo is just all in the dirt in the ground and they’re up against the shared fence which isn’t a solid one, it has gaps, so you can just smell them the minute you go to that half of our garden.

I just find next door so odd because the house and garden don’t look how I imagine people reading this will have it in their mind’s eye. If you met them somewhere not at home or you walked past the house and they weren’t here, you’d not think anything of it, but it’s when you are here for any time and start to observe what goes on you realise it’s all just chaos and this kid basically dominates them all.

I don’t invite people over anymore to be honest because it can be so loud and disruptive and I find it completely embarrassing. We can’t sit in the back garden because he comes out screaming looking through the gaps in the fence and it smells of the chickens. We’d sell up and move but idk how we’d ever sell the house with it as it is and mortgage rates have all gone haywire again haven’t they 😬

OP posts:
Pistachiocake · 19/04/2026 23:37

Some people also have medical devices/medical conditions that could cause them severe pain and suffering (before someone says that's ridiculous, not for the woman who had a brain operation, or the kid who had an implant in his ear recently), so whether he's ND or not, she needs to sort out this situation, as it could severely damage someone. And what's he going to do next if she (and any other adults responsible for him) don't sort this out?

RedcarBluecarHadARace · 19/04/2026 23:47

@L27NEE you are not being unreasonable but I couldn’t help but chuckle when you said he was cackling whilst drenching you and clothes twice. Dennis came to mind. To be fair it could’ve been worse had you been taking dry clothes off the line to take in.

Anyway, yes, he’s a nightmare and you’ve many more years of this. Probably followed by the baby growing up to act as bad if it’s a parenting issue.

You should move.

UtterOtter · 19/04/2026 23:48

Please do call social services. The small baby in the midst of the chaos will be absorbing a lot of bad patterns.

YayRain · 19/04/2026 23:51

Pistachiocake · 19/04/2026 23:37

Some people also have medical devices/medical conditions that could cause them severe pain and suffering (before someone says that's ridiculous, not for the woman who had a brain operation, or the kid who had an implant in his ear recently), so whether he's ND or not, she needs to sort out this situation, as it could severely damage someone. And what's he going to do next if she (and any other adults responsible for him) don't sort this out?

Yes, you're right. I know someone who this would undo a year of surgery and medical treatment of. They have to take special precautions when they shower and carrying a special cover in case of the lightest rain. I wouldn't want to be that kid's mother if this happened to that family.

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:51

RedcarBluecarHadARace · 19/04/2026 23:47

@L27NEE you are not being unreasonable but I couldn’t help but chuckle when you said he was cackling whilst drenching you and clothes twice. Dennis came to mind. To be fair it could’ve been worse had you been taking dry clothes off the line to take in.

Anyway, yes, he’s a nightmare and you’ve many more years of this. Probably followed by the baby growing up to act as bad if it’s a parenting issue.

You should move.

Edited

My partner owns another house - we had to buy this as it was all we could afford on my wage only at the time (long story as to why he couldn’t sell that at the time), but his house will be sold in the next few months so our plan was to move asap and buy a detached house to avoid a repeat of this, so I’m just hoping mortgage rates settle back down soon 🤞 obviously I was fuming with this today but at the same time I also had the same image in mind and would also probably have giggled if someone told me this as a standalone story, but on the back of everything else we try and tolerate without her even offering so much as a ‘sorry’ I have been fuming 🙈. Just couldn’t believe she was literally feet away from him and it was allowed to happen.

OP posts:
L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:53

YayRain · 19/04/2026 23:51

Yes, you're right. I know someone who this would undo a year of surgery and medical treatment of. They have to take special precautions when they shower and carrying a special cover in case of the lightest rain. I wouldn't want to be that kid's mother if this happened to that family.

This will be me if I have to have the heart surgery/pacemaker implanted as is looking to be the case in the coming months and she is aware I was waiting for results to make a decision about this and she has still allowed him to do it. I wasn’t even allowed to get the Holter heart monitor wet the other month when I had that on so it’s a good job he didn’t do it then tbh

OP posts:
RedcarBluecarHadARace · 19/04/2026 23:54

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:51

My partner owns another house - we had to buy this as it was all we could afford on my wage only at the time (long story as to why he couldn’t sell that at the time), but his house will be sold in the next few months so our plan was to move asap and buy a detached house to avoid a repeat of this, so I’m just hoping mortgage rates settle back down soon 🤞 obviously I was fuming with this today but at the same time I also had the same image in mind and would also probably have giggled if someone told me this as a standalone story, but on the back of everything else we try and tolerate without her even offering so much as a ‘sorry’ I have been fuming 🙈. Just couldn’t believe she was literally feet away from him and it was allowed to happen.

Edited

At least you have an escape plan to look forward to.

YayRain · 19/04/2026 23:57

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:53

This will be me if I have to have the heart surgery/pacemaker implanted as is looking to be the case in the coming months and she is aware I was waiting for results to make a decision about this and she has still allowed him to do it. I wasn’t even allowed to get the Holter heart monitor wet the other month when I had that on so it’s a good job he didn’t do it then tbh

I would personally report it to everyone who will listen and ensure every consequence under the sun if my family member is victimised by that sort of thing. It could literally kill them or undo all the medical work at best.

StephensLass1977 · 19/04/2026 23:58

Almost exactly this happened to us a couple of years ago.

Next door are absolute cunts. Blended family. The guy has three kids (one is 18 and doesn't live there), and his horrid girlfriend has two feral kids. They're totally wild, swear at adults, kick footballs at neighbours' windows and stomp on people's flowers, that sort of thing. Anyway one day my partner went into the garden with our then-very young puppy. All the young kids were together, started giggling, then suddenly came out and aimed the hose at my partner and puppy. While he was gasping for breath, having been drenched, I LOST it. I went absolutely nuts on them.

They'd been left alone at home with the 18 year old supervising them, which of course he didn't do. He heard the commotion and told his dad when he got home. To be fair, the dad apologised to my partner.

I really do empathise. The feral kids hardly visit with their mother anymore and I'm SO relieved as they were seriously making me depressed. That is just one example out of hundreds. People don't understand just how debilitating it is living next to families like this.

RunningOnEmptyish · 20/04/2026 00:00

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

Really? FFS.

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:00

RedcarBluecarHadARace · 19/04/2026 23:54

At least you have an escape plan to look forward to.

🤞 - feel like this is the sort of thing you have to declare when you sell though isn’t it that’s my only concern.

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 20/04/2026 00:03

He's 7! Looks like mum is not coping have you tried a different approach ask her how you. Can you help her?

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:04

StephensLass1977 · 19/04/2026 23:58

Almost exactly this happened to us a couple of years ago.

Next door are absolute cunts. Blended family. The guy has three kids (one is 18 and doesn't live there), and his horrid girlfriend has two feral kids. They're totally wild, swear at adults, kick footballs at neighbours' windows and stomp on people's flowers, that sort of thing. Anyway one day my partner went into the garden with our then-very young puppy. All the young kids were together, started giggling, then suddenly came out and aimed the hose at my partner and puppy. While he was gasping for breath, having been drenched, I LOST it. I went absolutely nuts on them.

They'd been left alone at home with the 18 year old supervising them, which of course he didn't do. He heard the commotion and told his dad when he got home. To be fair, the dad apologised to my partner.

I really do empathise. The feral kids hardly visit with their mother anymore and I'm SO relieved as they were seriously making me depressed. That is just one example out of hundreds. People don't understand just how debilitating it is living next to families like this.

Yeah it grinds you down so much and I feel like a lot of the time it’s just half-arsed selfish parenting. People are happy to say their kid had ADHD or whatever as an excuse but I can think of a dozen kids with SEND off the top of my head who wouldn’t be allowed to behave in that kind of way. It is miserable I feel like we don’t have a great quality of life living here and it’s quite a peaceful spot and the house is lovely, it should be a pleasure to live here but I think we’ll end up moving hopefully to a detached house when we can🤞 just have to try and retain some sanity while we’re still here.

OP posts:
gentileprof7 · 20/04/2026 00:04

If it's impacting on your life and the mother can't control hom contact social services.

Brainstorm23 · 20/04/2026 00:05

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:00

🤞 - feel like this is the sort of thing you have to declare when you sell though isn’t it that’s my only concern.

Only if you've officially raised a noise complaint with the council.

If the noise is as bad as you say you'll need to wait until after the summer holidays are over before putting it on the market

Brainstorm23 · 20/04/2026 00:08

Maddy70 · 20/04/2026 00:03

He's 7! Looks like mum is not coping have you tried a different approach ask her how you. Can you help her?

Not OP's job to parent her neighbour's kid and any help or advice is very unlikely to be received well anyway.

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:10

Maddy70 · 20/04/2026 00:03

He's 7! Looks like mum is not coping have you tried a different approach ask her how you. Can you help her?

We did because she literally came round in tears at one point because we messaged about the noise and she said ‘have you got any suggestions’. This was before she had another baby to be honest as well. I suggested maybe she could speak to school to say she needs support with him, she then went on a bit rant about how useless the school are because he isn’t as bad in school and I said maybe she could keep a diary and go in with it and could say that we hear it all too if they need someone to back her up. She just went on to list all excuses why it wouldn’t work. She then went on to blame the GP, Paediatricians, his dad and a host of other reasons why it was so bad and out of control. I again suggested going back with a diary to these agencies and that we could back up what she was saying and she didn’t say no to this but nothing ever seemed to happen. I then said well what else can we do because it can’t carry on like this for everyone’s sakes and she basically said for us to stop complaining about the noise because it was making her anxious, which we have tried to do and we send very carefully worded texts if there is a particular issue in extreme circumstances only (ie when my heart issues started the other month and they’d told me I needed to avoid stress and he was banging the bedroom wall screaming for hours on and off). My partner speaks to her when needed usually as she seems to respond better to him than me, she gets more confrontational with me. The only positive is that his grandparents seem to take him more on the weekend since the baby has been born so we usually get a bit of peace on the weekend now, but he must have come back at lunch today to cause yet more chaos 😬

OP posts:
L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:12

Brainstorm23 · 20/04/2026 00:08

Not OP's job to parent her neighbour's kid and any help or advice is very unlikely to be received well anyway.

Exactly, as explained in my reply to this comment 😬

OP posts:
SadSaq · 20/04/2026 00:14

I'd have to get revenge and play loud classical music or something and go out. Speaker facing their wall. Or spray the chickens 👿 No I wouldn't but she wouldn't like that would she!

What an idiot she is letting him carry on like that. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this with your heart problem 💐 Total lazy parenting.

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:15

Brainstorm23 · 20/04/2026 00:05

Only if you've officially raised a noise complaint with the council.

If the noise is as bad as you say you'll need to wait until after the summer holidays are over before putting it on the market

Yeah you’re right there. We’d have to do all the viewings at times we know he’s usually out. I’d feel so rubbish letting someone buy this though knowing how we’ve felt with it all ☹️ imagine buying your first home or whatever and how excited you’d be to then have all this. I remember our first night here and hearing it and my heart just sank.

OP posts:
L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:17

SadSaq · 20/04/2026 00:14

I'd have to get revenge and play loud classical music or something and go out. Speaker facing their wall. Or spray the chickens 👿 No I wouldn't but she wouldn't like that would she!

What an idiot she is letting him carry on like that. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this with your heart problem 💐 Total lazy parenting.

I do leave the radio on (not super loud but loud enough to provide some background noise) for the cat when I go out tbh because the banging makes us all jump including the poor cat and I feel bad leaving him here to be getting a fright when it all goes off next door!

OP posts:
SadSaq · 20/04/2026 00:18

Maybe try and sell it to a young family who will be more used to noise? Or people who are a bit rough? You'd have to do the viewings yourself to gauge though? Maybe a landlord will buy it? Then renters can leave if it's too bad?

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:20

SadSaq · 20/04/2026 00:18

Maybe try and sell it to a young family who will be more used to noise? Or people who are a bit rough? You'd have to do the viewings yourself to gauge though? Maybe a landlord will buy it? Then renters can leave if it's too bad?

That’s true actually it’d be a lovely rental for someone with equally noisy kids and there’s a couple of houses at the top of the street rented and they seem to be happy there and the landlords seem to do well out of them

OP posts:
SadSaq · 20/04/2026 00:22

Try classic fm as that'll be relaxing for cat.

That's shocking though that even the cat jumps!

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