Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be furious after neighbour’s child sprayed me and washing?

99 replies

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 22:50

We already have issues with next door because the mum cannot manage the 7yo boy’s behaviour at all (I’d argue she doesn’t necessarily make much effort to from what we see and hear through the very thin walls to be fair though). He completely runs rings round her, the banging (often on the party wall) and screaming/swearing/shouting from him to the mum is awful, when the step-dad (who lives there) is off work it’s even worse somehow, and since they had another baby last October he’s been loads worse and you hear him start off and then the baby is screaming, and you either hear absolutely nothing from the adults or they start screaming too. She’s admitted before they often just try to ignore him because he can become physically violent towards her but listening to him is awful, it’s like he’s an abusive husband the way he goes on screaming and swearing at her. We do talk to them about it and she does get his grandparents to have him some of the time on weekends to try and give us all some respite from it which we’re grateful for, so we’ve been trying to just tolerate it as best we can.

Then this afternoon I was pegging out washing, I heard them come into the garden and the mum told the boy not to spray the hosepipe in the direction of the shared fence because ‘the neighbours are putting washing on the line’. While all this is going on here chickens were out of the (very smelly) enclosure roaming around and it just seemed like the usual general chaos going on there. I just carried on pegging the washing.

Our driveways are at the back of our back gardens so I don’t know if that’s where she went but the next minute, I got absolutely soaked and he was cackling spraying the hosepipe over the fence which sprayed all the washing line full of clothes I’d just took out of a spin to peg out.

I shouted over and said ‘[boy’s name] please can you stop that’, to which he continued and carried on laughing. She clearly heard me but never said anything to me and again told him to only spray it the other way and on the ‘rain’ setting ‘not the jet’. Seconds later he sprayed me and the washing again laughing his little head off. It was definitely on some sort of jet setting the way it was coming over.

I fully appreciate that for him this must have been the height of hilarity, but by this point all my hair was wet, my top was wet, and I was utterly cheesed off. I ended up shouting to the mother by name and said ‘he’s just sprayed me and the washing twice you know’. She again didn’t respond directly to me at all and just told him she wouldn’t let him use the hose again if he was going to do that.

It then went quiet for a few minutes and she then randomly started having a go at him that she hadn’t known he was in the garden and thought he had gone into the house and was in his bedroom, she complained that she was now going to have to go and do the whole garden with just the watering can because he couldn’t behave with the hosepipe - I can only assume she said that thinking it would ameliorate the situation with me, but I’d heard them from the moment they came into the garden so I knew that she knew full well he was in the garden. At no point did she directly respond to me or even say sorry.

AIBU to be pretty fuming about this? I’m so ground down with this child’s behaviour and the mother’s lackadaisical approach to parenting, but don’t know if I’m just over reacting or they actually really are just nightmare neighbours and I’m justified in being really upset and annoyed about today.

OP posts:
L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:25

SadSaq · 20/04/2026 00:22

Try classic fm as that'll be relaxing for cat.

That's shocking though that even the cat jumps!

It’s because it’ll be completely quiet and then you’ll suddenly just hear a huge bang and then all the shouting and squawking starts and well obviously just be chilling out quietly so it startles you.

OP posts:
tellmesomethingtrue · 20/04/2026 00:38

MermaidofRye · 19/04/2026 22:52

You are not being unreasonable but I am sure there will be lots of people along soon to raise the possibility that he may be ND.

Plenty of ND children do not behave like this. The mother needs to apologise and take control.

RedcarBluecarHadARace · 20/04/2026 00:38

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:00

🤞 - feel like this is the sort of thing you have to declare when you sell though isn’t it that’s my only concern.

I believe, only if you’ve made an official complaint somewhere.

So don’t report them.

RedcarBluecarHadARace · 20/04/2026 01:01

RedcarBluecarHadARace · 20/04/2026 00:38

I believe, only if you’ve made an official complaint somewhere.

So don’t report them.

@L27NEE oh! and change your fence so they can’t see through and when you come to sell, show people round when 7yo is at school.

Daffodillillie · 20/04/2026 01:50

To be fair, half the population have ADHD so it’s neither here nor there.
I hope things improve for you soon.

Zanatdy · 20/04/2026 02:02

They won’t change and he will just get worse as he gets bigger with so little discipline. I’d move, before you do need to report anything. And then once you’re out of there, give social services a call.

PollyBell · 20/04/2026 02:09

Maddy70 · 20/04/2026 00:03

He's 7! Looks like mum is not coping have you tried a different approach ask her how you. Can you help her?

Why on earth should she have to help her? this always seems to be anwwer to everything on here neighbours dog makes a noise how about you offer to walk it 3 times a day, child is a nusiance how about you baby sit type replies

ChewbaccasMrs · 20/04/2026 03:05

OP you can make a report to social services without giving your name,unless your their only neighbour they won't know it's you because you can bet your other neighbours are fed up with them as well.

Think of it as helping the children out because if that boy is that bad at such a young age he could become dangerous when he's a grown man and I'd be really worried about the safety of the baby in the house if he's already hurting his mum.

Gowlett · 20/04/2026 03:16

I feel a bit sorry for the kid… His parents split when was small, clearly. Wonder what his dad was like? Now he has a step-dad & there’s a new baby. The mum can’t cope with everything & the boy sounds like hard work. And yes some kids are not easy, like this little guy. But, who is really helping him?

BrightLemonQuail · 20/04/2026 04:30

I would report to social services, having recently attended safeguarding training refresher, child on parent abuse is becoming more common, and should be logged/reported so support can be offered because swearing at/hitting parents at 7 is a slippery slope for the future. It’s clear mum needs support with the child, perhaps this will help, or be a step towards support.

Zippidydoodah · 20/04/2026 07:25

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 19/04/2026 23:00

Are social services involved with the family OP? It sounds as though they should be. Trying to ignore a 7year old boy sounds like neglect. Him responding with violence doesn't really sound surprising.
Perhaps you should be reporting what is going on in the family ?

This, for sure.

also he may be ND; of course he may. But I’d like to think/hope that the parent could apologise in his behalf.

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 08:35

Gowlett · 20/04/2026 03:16

I feel a bit sorry for the kid… His parents split when was small, clearly. Wonder what his dad was like? Now he has a step-dad & there’s a new baby. The mum can’t cope with everything & the boy sounds like hard work. And yes some kids are not easy, like this little guy. But, who is really helping him?

I have had this exact conversation with my partner, from the kids pov life’s probably pretty confusing, but equally that doesn’t change the fact it’s horrible to live next to and that I was the one got sprayed with a hosepipe for no reason other than her shoddy parenting yesterday

OP posts:
L27NEE · 20/04/2026 08:38

BrightLemonQuail · 20/04/2026 04:30

I would report to social services, having recently attended safeguarding training refresher, child on parent abuse is becoming more common, and should be logged/reported so support can be offered because swearing at/hitting parents at 7 is a slippery slope for the future. It’s clear mum needs support with the child, perhaps this will help, or be a step towards support.

It could be, but equally it could set her off on a huge spiral where things get 10x worse next door because she’s anxious and upset. And if they just give her a ring and leave it at that as I suspect they might (thresholds are so high nowadays with SS) then we will have issues with them and potentially her crying at our front door again or worse. Feel like this would be hitting the nuclear button.

OP posts:
SadSaq · 20/04/2026 09:11

I've reported people to SS before. One was a close friend. Her dh was abusive. We're still friends. The SS and police gave her support to get rid of him. We're still friends.

Do it for the boy if nothing else. And report her if she starts harassing you. You aren't well. Be firm with her.

Littlebitpsycho · 20/04/2026 09:15

I really feel for you and you were much more controlled than I would have been! I think I'd have been shouting 'why on God's earth did you have a second kid when you can't control the absolute goblin you already have!'

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 09:22

Littlebitpsycho · 20/04/2026 09:15

I really feel for you and you were much more controlled than I would have been! I think I'd have been shouting 'why on God's earth did you have a second kid when you can't control the absolute goblin you already have!'

That comment would have been 100% spot on tbf 😆 I have this thought frequently

OP posts:
Laurmolonlabe · 20/04/2026 09:34

We had a similar issue years ago, I was annoyed, but decided to let it go- my partner (without telling me) bought a super soaker filled it and the next time the next door son was in range soaked him- we never had another issue.

tommyhoundmum · 20/04/2026 09:46

MermaidofRye · 19/04/2026 22:52

You are not being unreasonable but I am sure there will be lots of people along soon to raise the possibility that he may be ND.

or just a naughty disobedient child.

Zebedee999 · 20/04/2026 09:59

Where does a 7 year old even learn to swear from?

That said some of the posters on MN have potty mouths so perhaps that type of mother.

Changeusername1981 · 20/04/2026 10:00

I hate the ND stuff that gets put on these types of threads.
My youngest child has sen and can have challenging behaviours but one I do everything I can so it does not impact on others and two my child does things when they have been dysregulated (routines,illness) they certainly would not do this type of thing while laughing it really does sound more of a boundaries issue and a child fighting for attention.

Where we are there is an early support hub where even SS referrals get filtered through.
I highly doubt that this family would require SS but seems like they definitely could do with some interaction from family support workers or equivalent to your area that could be beneficial to help this family as they seem to need it.

They would be under a health visitor to?
Maybe have a search for early help in your area to see how you can report this.

Newnameagainn · 20/04/2026 10:26

MermaidofRye · 19/04/2026 22:52

You are not being unreasonable but I am sure there will be lots of people along soon to raise the possibility that he may be ND.

My child is diagnosed with autism and adhd and I didn't jump to that at all, as my child is lovely and this one sounds awful. I suggest the possibility of SEN on threads sometimes if the op mentions speech issues, concentration problems, emotional and social issues, and it rings a bell. Squirting someone with a hose and laughing has no relation to my experience of a SEN child.

WildLeader · 20/04/2026 10:55

L27NEE · 20/04/2026 00:00

🤞 - feel like this is the sort of thing you have to declare when you sell though isn’t it that’s my only concern.

Honestly it’s not.

WildLeader · 20/04/2026 10:57

Zebedee999 · 20/04/2026 09:59

Where does a 7 year old even learn to swear from?

That said some of the posters on MN have potty mouths so perhaps that type of mother.

My DS learned some choice swear words from older kids at school before the Christmas of his reception year

I was livid! Complained to the Head mistress too. She just shrugged. I hated him being at that school.

Flushitdown · 20/04/2026 10:59

MermaidofRye · 19/04/2026 22:52

You are not being unreasonable but I am sure there will be lots of people along soon to raise the possibility that he may be ND.

And so what if he is. Really irks me how some people use it as a get out of jail free card.

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 20/04/2026 11:01

Nd or not, you don’t let them get away with murder. I would seriously ask if she’s actually going to bother parenting the second child and not to have anymore.