AIBU to be angry he locked us in while ill?

[BeDandyFawn]

My husband has been away with work this week, he called me from the airport to say he was feeling unwell with a bug, he had fever, chills, upset stomach, headache and said he might even go straight to a hotel when he lands instead of driving the 40 mins home.
When he landed I got a text to say that he will stay in our self contained unit which we are very lucky to have, it’s right next to the house - bedroom, bathroom, TV, kitchenette.
He asked for the heating to go on, my daughter and I made sure everything was comfortable - we left a huge jug of water, glass, paracetamol and some Dioralyte.
I then went to bed and he then came across to the house - grabbed the kettle and then took the back door keys and locked the door from the outside leaving me, my daughter and her boyfriend locked in the house!!!
I was absolutely furious when I realised he had done this when I came downstairs, I know it sounds utterly pathetic but I do have a real issue that he doesn’t think of others and always prioritises himself. I text him to say how cross I was and he said he’s been vomiting, and poorly throughout the night. He said he locked us in and kept the keys in “incase he needed to access the house in the night because he was poorly”….he’s mid 40’s and has a sickness bug!!
I know this sounds like such a pathetic ramble but I am so cross that he would lock us in, we have a front door but it has steep steps and following a recent operation I can’t use this. I just feel there is no thought for us, he’s sick so everything revolves around him - I feel it’s so selfish, it’s like there is no consideration for others, he gets what he needs but it doesn’t matter about the rest of us.
Am I being unreasonable?

No you won’t!

You are overreacting to something your DH did when he was ill and presumably not thinking straight. Has this happened before? Wouldn’t it be better to put it down to experience and get yourself another set of keys for the back door.
(PS this wouldn’t be a problem in my house as, due to fire regs, my new build had to have a door that can be opened without a key. Might be worth considering this type of lock if being without keys is a persistent problem)

If the OP really truly couldn't leave her house to do errands/leave for a date to meet someone by exiting her front door, then all
all the OP needed to do was get her daughter to go out the front door, round to the annexe, get the back door key off her dad, and unlock the back door!
But hang on - are we saying the OP is able bodied enough to run errands and go out for planned dates to meet someone, and can go up and down her internal staircase, but isn't able bodied enough to get down the steps outside her front door? Hmmm.
Well regardless, luckily we have a young daughter involved in this scenario who can easily retrieve the back door key off her dad and open the back door from the outside so OP can exit the building without having to navigate the front steps. And failing the daughter helping with this, we have a back up plan, which is to ask the daughter's boyfriend, who I presume is equally capable of being able to walk out of a front door, round to the annexe, grab the back door key off the dad, and open the back door for OP.
There you go.
Sorted.

So are you saying that everyone who lives in buildings with only 1 entrance/exit door (I think there are about 5.4 million people living in flats in the UK, many of whom won't have a back door) are all likely to die in fires at home?

@BeDandyFawn
OP
Please post a photo of your front steps so that we can settle this dispute.

The building regulations for fire safety in flats requires that they allow escape without a key. So interior they will have a turning lock mechanism that can be twisted open or a push pad style - so you cannot be locked in, but your door is locked from the exterior.

If you live in an older building with the original door it doesn't require it to be changed out unless they change the door. It's very risky though.

Oh stop your nonsense. There’s a front door.

So interior they will have a turning lock mechanism that can be twisted open

You mean like the inside of the OP's front door.
Or the inside of any front door.
Simply turn the the lock and open the door and walk out.

How did he get into the house? Surely if he had a key he should have used that when he left.
Otherwise this just sounds like you've had enough in general.

No, not if she was locked in. It means she doesn't have those type of locks. I also don't have those type of locks and without the key, I cannot open my front door from the inside. You can change them out and you should, but getting a locksmith out can be costly if you don't know how to change them out yourself.

This.

I can't believe people are saying that being locked in the house with no way to get put is something the OP should be fine with! If there'd been a fire she couldn't have got out - hopefully her daughter and daughter's boyfriend could have used the door the op's mobility issues stop her being able to get to, but if that's not normally used and they went to bed with no way of knowing the usual door was locked from outside they could also have lost too much time to get out in a fire - it's clear from the post that the locked door couldn't be opened from inside.

The door was presumably left unlocked for him because he got in without keys and then locked his wife in and took the key away.

Most older houses don't have a lock mechanism that can be twisted open, they have a regular lock, especially owner occupied houses.

And no doubt we’d have a thread Dh left the door open all night we could of been stabbed in our sleep

no one died get more keys

Most houses have the locks that the occupier is happy with, not what the builder chose for them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Im finding more and more that men only seem to think about things when it directly affects them… (sorry one of those days)

That changes nothing in the moment that this man chose to lock his wife, his daughter and someone else's son into a building and take the key.

My house is 15 years old. If it's locked from the outside, you need to use a key to unlock the multipoint system, then push the handle up, then return it to centre, then push the handle down before the door will open. Obviously, this is brilliant for keeping burglars out, but somewhat less so if in a situation where some drunken twat has deliberately locked it from the outside and taken the only key with them - and worse still in the event of a fire.

He lives there, so had probably noticed the house has a front door.

No, she has an opening front door and windows

What was the alternative? Leave the door unlocked all night?

Then you would be saying how dangerous it was that he left the door unlocked.

There was a front door, windows and presumably more than 1 back door key.

No need to be dramatic.

Do you not have 2 sets of door keys so he can lock it and come in if needs too .. and you or your family can get out if you need too.
Its annoying but get 2 sets of keys for that door.

She explicitly stated that she has mobility issues and had an operation recently and can't use the front door due to steep steps - which he presumably also knows, being married to her and living with her...

That's the decision of the people inside the house - who had left the door unlocked, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to get in

If it's like our door then if you close the door it locks and can't be opened from the outside without force, but if you lock it from the outside it's double locked and more secure. Whether it's more dangerous to be locked in or not to double lock depends on what kind of area you live in.

She can use the internal stairs, apparently. I imagine she’d manage to use the outdoor ones as well if the alternative was perishing in an inferno.

And if this inferno has started on that side of the house, so the exit would be via the locked back door?