AIBU to be angry he locked us in while ill?

[BeDandyFawn]

My husband has been away with work this week, he called me from the airport to say he was feeling unwell with a bug, he had fever, chills, upset stomach, headache and said he might even go straight to a hotel when he lands instead of driving the 40 mins home.
When he landed I got a text to say that he will stay in our self contained unit which we are very lucky to have, it’s right next to the house - bedroom, bathroom, TV, kitchenette.
He asked for the heating to go on, my daughter and I made sure everything was comfortable - we left a huge jug of water, glass, paracetamol and some Dioralyte.
I then went to bed and he then came across to the house - grabbed the kettle and then took the back door keys and locked the door from the outside leaving me, my daughter and her boyfriend locked in the house!!!
I was absolutely furious when I realised he had done this when I came downstairs, I know it sounds utterly pathetic but I do have a real issue that he doesn’t think of others and always prioritises himself. I text him to say how cross I was and he said he’s been vomiting, and poorly throughout the night. He said he locked us in and kept the keys in “incase he needed to access the house in the night because he was poorly”….he’s mid 40’s and has a sickness bug!!
I know this sounds like such a pathetic ramble but I am so cross that he would lock us in, we have a front door but it has steep steps and following a recent operation I can’t use this. I just feel there is no thought for us, he’s sick so everything revolves around him - I feel it’s so selfish, it’s like there is no consideration for others, he gets what he needs but it doesn’t matter about the rest of us.
Am I being unreasonable?

Overall, this is the view I most agree with. You don't always think with complete logic when you're not well. You could quite easily have got your daughter to nip round and get the keys if she can use the front door. It's so dramatic to say you were locked in. In fact the way the title reads, it sounds like you were the one ill and he'd locked you in your bedroom or something. The reality is very different.

I'm sure there must be other things going on, which is why you've reacted like this to this one, but just taking this one single thing on its own - YABU.

One set of keys between all of you?? All sounds a little odd.

Do you really not have another set of keys for the back door? I keep a spare on me all the time along with the front door key.

So you weren't locked in then, it's just the front door is a bit more difficult?

Would you have been happy if he'd left the back door unlocked all night? That hardly seems safe.

Get a spare set of back door keys cut, it's odd that you've only got the one set.

Everybody in the house should have a key to a door that can only be opened with a key. I have a key safe outside, too so if someone forgets or loses a key, they can still access a spare. Or for emergency services, if needed at night when I’m alone. It might be I can’t get to the door. Though I often leave the back door unlocked, if I’m feeling really unwell..in case.

Why don’t you change the lock for one with a code, then you don’t need a key? I’m going to , soon.
Or a lock you only need a key to get in, but can open from the inside?

he’s mid 40’s and has a sickness bug!!

Yet you left him without a kettle so he had to go fetch on himself!

I saw your other thread. He’s an abusive alcoholic with no respect for you and your family. It’s absolute madness to continue this relationship.

I’d be more pissed off that he’d taken the kettle!

Obviously it’s insane that you only have one set of keys for a door you clearly use as the main door. How does this work normally though:
when you leave the house do you leave the keys at home and the door unlocked so others at home can get out? In which case how do you get in if they then go out and lock up the house as normal?
or do you leave the house and lock up taking the only key with you, in which case no one else can go in and out of that door (so equally selfish)

How did he access the house to get the kettle?

You only have one set of house keys in a four person household?

He's unwell and made a decision that perhaps with hindsight was the wrong one but still hardly the end of the world? His choices were to leave the backdoor unlocked which isn't safe or post the keys back through the letterbox which leaves him unable to access his own house. I do think that banishing a sick family member to a "unit" is a bit weird, although I understand not wanting to catch a bug.

And you have two homes but can't afford to get a second key cut?

I find this whole thread very confusing. Last time my husband had a sickness bug, he went to bed, I made chicken soup and cleaned the bathroom then carried on with my usual day except to periodically check in on him.

Do you not have a front and a back door ?

Oh. So this isn't about a one off poor decision when he's unwell at all?

I have just read your other thread. It's clear that you've both reached a point where you are unhappy with each other. It sounds like all your children are adults now so surely it should be fairly simple to go your separate ways. Or buy a new kettle and one of you lives in the "unit" so you don't have to deal with one another.

Have read your other thread and it's obvious this is just the latest in a string of problems in your relationship, which all boil down to the fact that your OH is a heavy drinker. Are you sure that's not why he's being sick now - some overseas binge? It all boils down to whether you're prepared to put up with him or not as it doesn't seem like he has any intention of changing.

It's not that confusing if you read her other thread. Husband is a heavy drinker/probably alcoholic.

Sounds like you need to visit Timsons

and then took the back door keys and locked the door from the outside leaving me, my daughter and her boyfriend locked in the house!!!

Well no, he left YOU locked in the house, assuming they are able to use the front door?

And then surely they can just get the key from him?

This makes zero sense. There’s only one set of keys in the house?

It wasn't a minor mistake at all, it was a selfish and potentially dangerous act.

But the real point is why is there only ONE set of keys to the back door???

I don't follow. You have no other keys to unlock the door from inside? He was supposed to leave the door unlocked all night after getting the kettle?

I was wondering about this as well, rather than a stomach bug

👍

Feels like there's obviously more going on here - he's ill, he didn't think. Not a huge deal. I'd also assume that with at least 3/4 adults coming and going there's more than one set of keys, if that's the only door that's usable for one of you?

If there's a bigger story about his behaviour I'd focus on that rather than this specifically.

You shouldn't have to read another thread. Anyone reading this thread alone should think its all a fuss over nothing. Having another thread where he's an abusive alcoholic, without mentioning that here, renders the whole question pointless as its missing all the context. You can't blame people for being confused when they are answering based on this thread alone.