to want to carry on working so I do not end up doing childcare?

[skizz]

I mentioned to my DC that I was thinking about retiring, just exploring options, nothing even decided yet. Their immediate response was along the lines of “oh that would be perfect, you could help with childcare, school pickups, when they are ill, that sort of thing.”

I actually do not want to give up work and slide into being on-call childcare. I like working. I like having my own routine, my own space and my own independence. The idea that any flexibility automatically gets translated into availability for childcare does not appeal to me whatsoever.

I have friends who do regular childcare for their grandchildren and honestly they are constantly picking up bugs, dealing with sickness, plans being cancelled last minute because a child is ill. It looks absolutely exhausting. It is not how they imagined retirement but they got railroaded into it by their daughters/DILs.

I would rather keep working than be doing childcare.

From what I've seen the game is to say you're a toxic mother and threaten to cut off access to the grandkids if you're not on call 48 hours. I had a mother and mil who didn't give a monkeys about their grandkids but I just see daughters these days taking the pee.

Aren't most relationships transactional? We help and support those who help and support us in return. Not many people would want to go the extra mile for someone who didn't offer them help when it was needed. That doesn't change just because you're family.
If a grandparent doesn't want to care for their DGC, that's absolutely fine. But they set the precedent of it's 'every person for themselves'. It can't be a huge surprise when their children (probably now at the same age their parents were when they didn't offer help with the kids) take the same line - "this is my time/retirement, I'm not going to spend it caring for other people either".
OP - I am in complete agreement with you about your right to choose how you spend your retirement. But I also agree with the people who think that it could impact on the support you get later in life. But that might not bother you at all.