AIBU to wonder why some unfaithful men change later in life?

[FlamingoFloss]

I’m in my 50’s so like to think I have a bit of life experience. Over the years I’ve seen a variety of men cheat on their wives/ling term partners. Ultimately, just because they could. They didn’t get going out and stayed together. Or maybe they did - who knows?

fasg forward a few years and these men are now in their 50’s/60’s and their wife/partner that they’ve been with for years, and who they treated so loosely when they were younger, is now their EVERYTHING.

Ive seen this quite a bit. Why is this? Have they finally grown up and now see what they’ve always had? Do they have regrets? What’s it all about out? Anyone else seen this?

Maturity?

they dont have the pulling power they thought they had previously ?

I think it's a simple as their sex drive dwindling some and dare I say it, hormones changing, less testosterone mellowing them out and less options to cheat with?

Because they’ve realised they’re no longer able to get someone else to sleep with them and want to make sure their poor wife maid continues to be their surrogate mother in their old age. They do not become good men.

Lower testosterone levels, erectile dysfunction and a bad back?

It’s like they try and make out they’ve always been so into their wives and they’ve always been their everything. No idea why this has suddenly bothered me

They are no longer attractive to young women

They grow old and saggy and testosterone drops and they become a less attractive bagpuss, like the redundant alley cats they are.

Either it's because they have a younger partner who still feeds their ego..look at me I'm 65 but my partner is only 45

Or they lose their looks/charm/money/have too much baggage and no longer attract women like they did

And women get wiser as they get older. Where a 45 year old man may have attracted a 30 year old woman. A 45 year old woman isn't going to fall for the bull shit

I'm male btw

Your talking about maturity in men...im 57 and mentally I'm still 10

all of those things but I guess what I’m really thinking is, how can they just suddenly become what they’re not? How do they suddenly become these family men and seem so happy in themselves like they’ve completely detached themselves from their past behaviour?

I must apologise for my original post as it’s full of typos!!

They don't change.

They just either don't have the opportunity to cheat because no one else is interested in them, or they are still cheating, but just got better at covering it up.

I think it’s that their first wife they have all the life problems with, so exhausted from work, young kids, money issues etc so they’re not having sex a lot and they’re assholes so they cheat (well they are and they do!!!). Next wife/ partner, honeymoon period and they have more sex than he did with first, no young kids so less exhausted, they can do the crazy ex thing (oh she’s so naggy, so crazy) and the new wife is saying oh my poor you and he gets his ego massaged and thinks oh this is good, plus he’s aging so he goes ok, I’ll bank this one just in case.

They do what a lot of people do. They psychologically rewrite history. And so do their wives.

Cognitive dissonance. Humans are really good at it.

I snorted at this

Yes they do mature more slowly but really, do they only reach full maturity at 60 😂😂

They don't become that. As previous posters noted, they run out of steam, realise their options are limited and make the best of what they've got.

They see that they have some to look after them and no way they are going to meet anyone else to put up with their rubbish behaviour. A selfish leopard doesn’t change its spots it just loses testosterone.

It’s this.

They don’t change OP. It’s just that no one else will have them.

Or necessity .

Lower T levels as stated by PP.

T is such a driver that it trumps logic and common sense in younger men (higher levels).

They just get lazy & insular

Perhaps they are still cheating? How do you know they aren't?

Well, 50% of men in their 50s have erection problems, and and many do nothing about it. I think that explains it.