AIBU to feel hurt when my husband accepts invitations excluding me?

[Heartford]

My DH’s best friend B (50s, professionally successful) ended his marriage by having a long affair with his wife’s close friend. He caused a lot of hurt to his wife and children to whom we remain close. My DH has stayed friends with B throughout and continued to see him alone/in other male company. I have not really seen him and he knows that I disapprove of how he ended his marriage.

The affair has now ended and B is leading a single life in London. He now invites my DH to parties and dinners without me (even when everyone else’s partner is invited). The next one is 3 couples plus DH and a single woman. I don’t like that – I think it disrespects our marriage, it leaves me at home doing domestics while DH is out having fun (this already happens quite a lot as I have a demanding job and do the lion share of household/kids for various reasons) and echoes how B treated his own wife. DH can’t see the problem. He says I wouldn’t want to go myself – which is true (as I feel uncomfortable around B due to all the lies/deceit that went with his affair). DH would also (reluctantly) cancel if I make him (and would tell B that is why). But for himself, he thinks it is fine for me not to be asked and for him to accept and go alone. AIBU in being hurt by DH’s view?

Absolutely- one must always maintain the correct etiquette 🤣🤣

Regardless of what you think of an ended marriage which isn't your business the friendship is a totally different relationship anyhow and you made it clear how you feel so no I wouldn't expect an invite and second even without all that I don't expect to go every time my dh gets invited out same as he doesn't for me

Pretty sure my DH would not goto a dinner party like this. He would not be happy with his friend and 100% would disagree with him and start to remove himself from the friendship. I dont understand why anyone , male ir female, would accept such shitty friends.

MN has no idea of nuance. If someone is in my life as a friend, that means I trust them. There are very few people I can say that about.

Frankly, who they fuck is nothing to do with the friendship.

You sound very controlling and if I was your partner I wouldn’t listen to you either.

How ridiculous to even think his best friend will set him up with a woman in front of other couples.

Why are some women threatened by the presence of a SINGLE woman?

@Chimen a lot of posters on here hate single women and think couples take precedence over everything.

So you are beleiving eveything is 100% true and happened just as the OP has decided just because the OP says so?

Agreed. It's like some MNers follow a weird reverse Sharia law where a man cannot be unaccompanied in the presence of a single woman because she must be the whore of Babylon and he will be utterly unable to resist fucking her the second they get the chance. And I bet if the roles were reversed you'd get veeery different replies - 'So what? She's still your friend and you have the right to see her. Does your husband not trust you, the controlling bastard? Does he think you're just going to drop your knickers the second you see a single man? You should leave him'.

😂
Its the 'disrespectful' comments for me. Like one person said going out for drinks and curry is fine but not to a DINNER PARTY like its something sacred.
People are still individuals whether they are in a couple or not, well that is what I have always thought anyway. Clearly not in mn world!

I've been both host and guest at many such dinner parties. It's totally normal. No one I know thinks of dinner parties as events where everyone has to be in a couple (even if most happen to be). The idea that when I was a single woman, or if DP wasn't physically there with me, I was secretly being "paired off" with any man who happened to be solo as well is just... utterly bonkers. Certainly no one told me, or the men in question!

This. 💯

DH says I wouldn’t want to go myself – which is true (as I feel uncomfortable around B due to all the lies/deceit that went with his affair)

I mean, the OP doesn’t even want to go. She knows that, her husband does and so does the host 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah, this.

How does she sound controlling??
She’s just a bit worried, would you actually blame her , considering OPS husband’s friend is a first class PRICK .
There are 3 couples, that shitty friend of his being part of one of the couples , OPS husband, & then a single lady .
It’s so clear here that she only is feeling the way she is is because that friend of his is such a tosser, & none of us on here would be comfortable with our husbands keeping company with him, & going to his stupid fucking dinner parties !!!
Cut her some slack .
Thread again full of a load of bullshit , when in reality the amount of women on here if it was shoe on the other foot would be feeling like OP .

And the majority of posters would accuse the man of being controlling if he didn’t want his wife associating with someone he disapproved of.

I have a similar situation with my dh. He has remained good friends with a man who had an affair many years ago and left his wife and dcs. I made it clear that I couldn’t socialise with him anymore as it would be too hurtful for his ex wife, who is part of a wider circle of mum friends. However I certainly haven’t stopped dh from doing so - in fact he’s away with him this weekend (part of a weekly group activity not one to one!).

But… dh has never been put in a situation whereby he’s been marked a ‘plus one’ by his friend. I know if he was, and I felt uncomfortable about it, Dh would have zero hesitation in saying no, in fact I think the whole idea would completely freak him out and he’d be thinking ‘WTF?!’

There was actually a thread on here not that long ago , it was a married woman , her husband didn’t like one particular friend of hers .
He didn’t stop her going out with her or being friends with her , neither has OP with her partner, she’s just saying she doesn’t like it 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Basically when they went out together all she did was try & pull men, & often the OP found herself with her friend , the guy she wanted to go home with on the night, & whoever your man’s friend would happen to be , she said she would never cheat & thought her husband was being unreasonable.
Most of the replies saw it from her husband’s point of view.