Dh in mood as I said I may get mcdonalds for my dinner he said its selfish

[Tomcdonaldaornot]

Hey mn!
I have just read some other posters complaining about their partners wow there seems to be a lot. I don't want that to cloud my judge ie being angry on their behalf and therefore my dh is wrong.
So I am asking here.
My baby who is 9months woke at 830am and hasn't napped today. She fought her last two naps and I have wasted an hr each time trying to get baby to nap. She usually naps but the last few days she seems more active. With no naps I have found it really impacts my night when baby doesn't nap, she has a bad night. So I have gotten ready. Dh who works from home popped downstairs and asked how day is going. I said its been full on she hasnt napped! He looked at her and said "cheeky" she laughed!
I said I was going a drive as she will nap in the car. I said I was thinking of getting a Starbucks via drive thru so I am not just driving around. At least it'll give me a destination! Then I thought ohh i could get a McDonald's! That'll sort my dinner out. Baby will nap in car. Dh then told me that was weird. I'm a grown women. And then.... wait for it... what about him? I offered to bring him mcdonalds and he said no. I then laughed and said you are a grown man I'm sure you can sort dinner. He stormed away saying "dont treat me like a child!".
Am i wrong?! He has never acted like this!!!!!!
What would you do??

This isn’t a victory how many cheers the OP is getting for getting McDonalds. There’s clearly a small child involved and both OP and and the partner have a lot of work to do with communication. The one who suffers most here is the child.

…hhhmmm… you both sound like a couple of kids. No sympathy from me. Pesky baby, not napping …

Yeah, thanks, Wittgenstein.

He sounds quite, quite mental. Seriously abnormal.

He doesn’t sound at all supportive and eating the babies snacks to spite you is petty. I think you need to start making sure he occasionally cooks.

👏 literally this 👆 feel bad for OP. He should be offering to make dinner knowing she’s struggling. Or he should be saying yeah you do what you need to do.

There is a small child involved and a mum who does everything for that small child, and also seems to have do all the caring for her jealous petty loser of a man baby who is actively sabotaging her parenting. Don’t post neutral comments about parents
when one is a new mums working her butt off and one is a jealous vindictive indulged petty loser who is failing at being a dad and a husband and she’s covering for him on both by doing his share of parenting, his share of looking after himself and as much of his share of looking after her as she has capacity for after doing all the rest of his and her work so I expect very little. That woman doesn’t have to adjust here.

I wouldn’t have got to years of marriage. I’d have stood in my living room and screamed I deserve sleep and if I’m tired and want an early night my own husband who does no night wake ups has only one acceptable role - ask if I’d like a cup of tea in bed. Stop acting like a selfish baby because you’re at high risk of never ever getting sex again which would make sure that you don’t have this disappointment again, as you’ll know there’s no chance ever until you can act like someone who cares about me.

He can learn, not me adjust how I delicately communicate my basic human need for sleep.

hope you enjoyed your maccies, tell your husband tough shit.
in other news at 9mo your baby should be having 2-3 naps a day, if they’re fighting their naps try and make it 2 naps should help, my baby went through the exact same thing

Love this :)

Is he suffering from
PRE MANSTRUAL TENSION?

Definitely had one on him.

Seen his arse arse that day.

Once again, like a previous poster determined to have her moment of virtuous outrage, you left out part of what I wrote. I went on to say: he should not be punishing you for it. He should use his words and tell you how that made him feel.

To the PPs who selectively quoted me: I think it's odd to suggest to your husband that you both have an early night together and then say you meant for sleep, not sex. If I wanted an early night for sleep I would just have one. I would feel confused and rejected if my husband invited me to bed for an early night and then said it was so that we can both go to sleep early. I'd be thinking, "You have an early night if you want to, but why do I have to have one, too??" BUT IT IS NOT OK TO PUNISH SOMEONE FOR THIS OR BE MEAN ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE TO BE A GROWN-UP, AND CALMLY EXPRESS, ANOTHER TIME, THAT YOU FELT CONFUSED AND REJECTED. THERE SHOULD NEVER BE ANY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR REFUSING SEX.

The fact that I think it could come across as a bait-and-switch to say "Let's both have an early night - no, not for sex!" does NOT mean that I think negative consequences for this are OK, for God's sake!

Maybe look into suing McDonalds who would have thought a dinner choice could do this.....lol Sorry it isn't funny but what a blow out

Well all that escalated didn’t it?!

Seriously hopefully it’s a spat and you can sort things out.

Glad you enjoyed your McDS.

This.

After reading all your replies, and his twatty behaviour, I’d suggest a week of trying out all your local drive thrus! I would not be cooking that man another meal whilst he does not see what an absolute idiot he has been. He’s literally thrown a tantrum, eaten the babies food, tried to guilt trip you and threaten you with a lovely time (night without him)!

You don’t need to justify anything. Have your macdonalds, do what you need to survive! I’ve an adult daughter with mental health issues and sometimes a Maccys is all she will eat, so I’ve had far more than I would like to have. But you know what, as adults we adapt, we do things we don’t really want to….like eat Maxdonalds for dinner. Honestly, your husband sounds like a child, not the ‘grown man’ he thinks he is!

Good luck, and don’t give in!

But you’re still wrong. Instead of expressing his feelings, he should use his rational brain and assess whether those feelings are 100% about him and 0% about his wife, and remember his wife is human and allowed to want to go to bed and allowed to express this in perfectly normal wording and if that triggers his sense of frustration at not having sex thrown at him every night he should take a big boy breath and get the fuck over it.

Sorry pressed wrong response!
cannoy believe some responses. Normal adult reaction ‘oh enjoy - could you bring me something back? Or ok enjoy i don’t fancy that’s but I’ll sort my own dinner’ unless you have a man child that’s incapable of cooking/ordering his own food

What would be your normal dinner routine? Do you have one?

I used to drive our DC’s around the block to get them to sleep as well for a period of their baby life. Didn’t have to go far….

In hindsight (and isn’t that wonderful) I think there may have been a lactose intolerance for one, and the first one I didn’t read the “I should be going to bed” signs until they were overtired… 🤦‍♀️

what would normally happen in your house? Do you have bread, butter and cheese available for the OH to make both of you a toastie for dinner?

I ask because I realise not all households have items to hand to knock up an easy bite to eat.

But I’m not addressing that part of your post, I’m addressing the part where you told her that telling her husband she wants an early night but no sex is not the wisest move.

What happened in your marriage to make you think like that?

But OP was very clear that she thought they would BOTH benefit from an early night I.e. get a good night’s sleep.

She is looking out for both their well being. DH and I often suggest that we go to sleep early. I’m
not sure why you would be hurt by a suggestion from your husband to get an early night or why your husband would be hurt if you suggested it.

Please can you share the recipe for the pastries? 😅

Good Lord, how hard is it to cook an egg on toast for dinner? I wouldn't have thought anything of it if DH decided to take DC for a drive nap and eat on the way, I'd either ask him to get me something to bring home or cook myself something like a normal grown-ass adult. And then sulking over you not pandering to his blatant manipulation attempts ...

I hope this isn't his normal behaviour OP because it's not healthy or good for you (or baby) in the long run. Hopefully he gives himself a shake and apologizes, but I'd also be planning a decent sit down chat when you're both in a good headspace to get on the same page about how you see your partnership and your own agency within that partnership. Hopefully it's just a bad day, we all have them. Just don't let it become the pattern you put up with, because it can very easily become controlling.

Wow what a giant man baby.