Dh in mood as I said I may get mcdonalds for my dinner he said its selfish

[Tomcdonaldaornot]

Hey mn!
I have just read some other posters complaining about their partners wow there seems to be a lot. I don't want that to cloud my judge ie being angry on their behalf and therefore my dh is wrong.
So I am asking here.
My baby who is 9months woke at 830am and hasn't napped today. She fought her last two naps and I have wasted an hr each time trying to get baby to nap. She usually naps but the last few days she seems more active. With no naps I have found it really impacts my night when baby doesn't nap, she has a bad night. So I have gotten ready. Dh who works from home popped downstairs and asked how day is going. I said its been full on she hasnt napped! He looked at her and said "cheeky" she laughed!
I said I was going a drive as she will nap in the car. I said I was thinking of getting a Starbucks via drive thru so I am not just driving around. At least it'll give me a destination! Then I thought ohh i could get a McDonald's! That'll sort my dinner out. Baby will nap in car. Dh then told me that was weird. I'm a grown women. And then.... wait for it... what about him? I offered to bring him mcdonalds and he said no. I then laughed and said you are a grown man I'm sure you can sort dinner. He stormed away saying "dont treat me like a child!".
Am i wrong?! He has never acted like this!!!!!!
What would you do??

I have fond memories of driving my oldest so she would nap and then stopping at McDonald’s. Had to keep the engine running as demon baby used to wake as soon as the car stopped or pram stopped moving! My husband used to just be pleased the baby would have a nap and that I would get to eat he was never jealous as he’s a grown man and you offered to bring him some back!

He expects you to be a 1950’s housewife and have dinner on the table.

The issue with that is that 1950’s housewives didn’t have to put up with their husband’s working from home and checking on them. They had larger social networks and had children younger - meaning more family support. So you could have had a nap while your mother or Aunt sat your baby in a play pen - ignored them and cleaned your house.

As a 1950’s housewife you would have had prescription uppers and downers so that you could take amphetamines to cook a three course dinner, then scrub the oven, wash the floor and set the table for breakfast and then take a sleeping pill so you could sleep through your baby’s crying in the night.

Why not?

He needs a happy meal 😂

Take him to McDonald's with you. Maybe he'll get a much needed nap alongside baby.

If you go to food and drinks or Starbucks and McDonald’s, I kind of feel that life isn’t gonna be great for you starting eating some real food, stop being junk please for goodness sake don’t feed that shit to your baby when it’s able to eat it

@Mrsgreen100

what exactly is going to happen in her life as a result of eating a McDonald’s do you think?

your post is pretty hard to decipher, but the bit I can iscsaying don’t give the baby McDonald’s, the whole point of the thread is the baby would actually be asleep!

So that’s pretty nailed on that OP wouldn’t, not that opinion of the nutritional value of McDonald’s was anything the point of the post.

OMFG I would KILL him

What an absolute bell end

Time to make a new batch of pastries just for him, preferably after cleaning the toilet with his toothbrush and forgetting to wash your hands

Oh bore off.

Sounds like he's got baby jealousy or something. Can't bear that you're taking good care of yourself and the baby, but not taking care of him and so ate the baby's snacks out of spite, rage and jealousy.

It's a very childish thing to do. He's got mummy issues.

And I'm not saying that you needed to take care of him - that's his perception of the situation, that you should be 'cooking' him dinner. He's a grown adult FFS. You may have a man-child there OP. 😩

Jesus Christ, he's complaining about having to get himself ONE DINNER?? Yes, he IS a grown man...so why can't he get his own dinner once in a blue moon??

Does he always bully you like this, OP?

God, I would have a VERY difficult time fancying a man who behaves like this.

He's probably annoyed because of you not giving him sex the other night. I wonder if you're quite young and haven't been married long. Years of marriage taught me that suggesting an early night for both of you and then saying "not for sex" would go down like a lead balloon with most husbands. So I think that that wasn't the wisest move, but he should not be punishing you for it. He should use his words and tell you how that made him feel.

It feels like there are eggshells in the room when a simple suggestion (and a very reasonable one given your lack of sleep) turns into something so big and leaves you analysing the whole interaction (either feeling guilty or doubting yourself over something so small). I hope you enjoyed your McDonald’s 👍

Can I have some fries with that……..

THIS.

A lot of men will become controlling if you don't push back against it. Many think they're in charge. 🤣

They're really not.

"years of marriage taught me that suggesting an early night for both of you and then saying "not for sex" would go down like a lead balloon with most husbands. So I think that that wasn't the wisest move'

JFC NO ONE IS OWED SEX. No matter whether you're married, or you've fucked thousands of times, or you really really want to. Sex should be completely enthusiastically consensual.

And any person who, on being told that sex is not on the cards for the night, become churlish and behaves like this shitty guy is well on the path crossing the road into coercive sex.

@Tomcdonaldaornot. It is very much a nasty surprise for most parents how brutally hard and exhausting it is having a baby. Is he aware of the reality or have you protected him from it so far? Does he think you are having some lovely holiday being at home with a cute baby and he gets to benefit by having you also clean, cook, wash, have sex, pander to his every need? You need to have a word on this, and you deserve an apology and swift change of attitude from him.

You missed the very next sentence after the one you selectively quoted: he should not be punishing you for it. He should use his words and tell you how that made him feel.

But if you had taken notice of that very important caveat, you'd have been denied your moment of virtuous outrage, wouldn't you! 🤣

He's probably annoyed because of you not giving him sex the other night. I wonder if you're quite young and haven't been married long. Years of marriage taught me that suggesting an early night for both of you and then saying "not for sex" would go down like a lead balloon with most husbands. So I think that that wasn't the wisest move

What on earth did your husband do to you to make you think like that?

So many rules for women on this thread:

• For a woman to think aloud about having a McDonalds whilst nap-driving her DC without having her husbands needs uppermost in her mind is unthinkable
• women can’t simply say they want an early night and no sex. They need to carefully craft the right words to soothe their husband’s ego and avoid his anger.

So many men that need to be taught that sulking permanently kills desire, and coercive sex is rape.

There is a fxxking massive education gap out there that desperately needs to be closed by a nationwide education program.

I’m so sorry op he is acting this way

Well done for standing your ground. He sounds immature and you don't need the extra bother with his comments about starving when you're gone, dealing with tantrums of his own making. You're not his mother.

@Tomcdonaldaornot

This.

Well done on staying strong!

Lots of other really good replies too, but absolutely keep your eyes open and don’t take any of his crap!

Good luck!