Incident at school - come and give me your thoughts.

[Newnamez]

DD is 12 and in yr7 (first yr of secondary).
On the last day of term before Easter she came home and told us that during the first lesson that day 2 'older girls' (she thinks yr9) came to the class (which had a stand in teacher that day) and asked for her by name and said she was needed at the school office by the Head teacher. She went with them. The girls walked ahead of her whispering.
By chance a TA that DD likes and chats to came out of a room and saw the three of them and asked the girls where they were taking DD. The older girls said 'the office' and the TA said i'll take over and they ran away. The TA shared with DD that one of the girls is her (TAs) cousin and said she was a ''little shit'' !! TA took DD to the office and no one had sent for her. TA took DD back to class. That's the bare bones of it. That is literally all i know.

Now, i hear about this at 6 that evening from DD and get more horrified the more i think about it. I emailed a head of year level teacher that evening. I heard nothing all easter holiday which is fine, but i heard nothing from anyone last night either. (yesterday 1st day back)

Ive told DD not to leave class unless an adult has come for her from now on.

Im going to ring the school this morning to ask to speak to someone in person about this.

Am i wrong or is this quite worrying?! How did the girls know my DD s name and where she'd be? Where were they taking her? Why were they wandering round the school? How are they going to stop this happening again?

What would you do/say?

TIA

Why are you trying to downplay it to 'a mean prank' it could have become a nasty attack if the TA.hadnt been there.

thise other things are impirtant, but this happened at school, when she should have been n safe and is just as important.

Still a serious breach of safeguarding.

Do you really think an 11 (12?) year old, on a school premises, is comparable to a toddler being led away in public? Don't be so ridiculous

Hearing of things that are happening in schools these days I find this deeply concerning. Maybe it was a prank. Maybe something more sinister. Get onto safeguarding ASAP and dont let them try fobbing you off

The voices of dissent are truly bizarre to me. "This won't matter to the school because someone might have been raped."

If everyone paid a little more attention to this 'unimportant' stuff then maybe we wouldn't have the absolute epidemic of bullying and mental health issues in our children and teens.

No, and I didn't say it was, which you know since you quoted my post.

Fuck me! What school did you go to...I thought mine was rough.

This will be massively high on the list as its happened on school premises...it's not someone forgetting an inhaler

I was yes.

Which is why some of this scenario doesn't sound true.

Yes disruptive year 9 pupils out when they shouldn't be is a possibility (especially if they have hoodwinked two different teachers into saying they are desperate for the toilet, knowing the backlash that teachers get for refusing children to go. Maybe they even claimed they were on their period so must be entitled to leave). The TA telling another child that one girl is her cousin and is a 'little shit' who just so happens to be out of class at the right moment rather than supervising their own 1:1 child sounds false.

I agree at most it's a weird prank and as I said I would be more concerned in asking the tutor to find out whether DD has settled in, if there have been any fallings out as maybe this could indicate whether DD is vulnerable.

Ex governor here. It's staff members who need speaking to.

The school should be ensuring that ALL staff members - teachers, TAs, everyone - are aware of the rules concerning students leaving the class during lessons. They should be reminded that any breach of these rules will be taken seriously. This reminder should be from the Safeguarding Lead and the Head.

The Governing Body should be informed of this breach and informed of the communications since the incident that are there to ensure it is not repeated.

The TA should be reminded that incidents of this kind should be reported, using the school's reporting policy.

It might be worth having a look at the school's policies on these things, which should be easily available from the school website.

You are doing the right thing here, and as all school people know, a failure to follow policy is a good way to fail on Ofsted's eyes so there should be no delay in sorting this.

I'm hoping it was just a stupid prank! I'm worried in case it was t.

I in no way want info. on the girls. I am only interested in my DDs welfare.

Thus is 100% real i'm a regular MN poster.

I don't feel the form teacher was telling me to de-escalate by telling me the girls have been spoken to. She's a lovely lady who DD gets on with well. The girls must have been spoken to yesterday.

I don't disagree .

Please don't waste any more of your time on the is it true business. It is. I wish it wasn't!

Sorry, but that is completely unacceptable. There are too many other questions and safeguarding issues to let it lie with a rubbish response like that. Insist on seeing the HOY - and escalate to the head if no response.

Yeah, I figured.

There is also an epidemic of teachers who truly don't give a shiny shit about the children in their care, IMO.

Whats your point then? How am I being disingenuous to say it is crass and distasteful to mention him when the scenarios are not comparable

Yes, busy dealing with their job and all the stuff that marks the start of a new term, finding time to reply to a message from a parent isn't always easy. As a form teacher I would have been passed it up to the the next level, Head of House/Year, whatever that title is. I think that there are a lot on this site who have absolutely no idea of what goes on in a school day, staff are not only dealing with your 'precious' sprog. None of this minimises what happened, it certainly needs dealing with promptly.

I am not suggesting it's DDs fault, but intrigued as to why she was targeted. Is there any known issues by the school? As it doesn't sound like mum is aware of any.
Is DD 'different' in any way which makes her stand out e.g. hairstyle, interests.
They could then look into whether it's bullying in general or if its just a case of random choosing (had they been in the class previously and seen books ready for the next lesson and DDs was on top).

Op if you believe this then you'll believe anything. It's the 2nd day back and you genuinely believe that the school have 'spoken to' these girls. They most likely haven't and are saying it to keep you happy. You also won't be getting that meeting that you desire either. As far as the school is concerned nothing happened. The would be issue was quashed when the TA came out and took over.
Secondary schools do nothing when pupils are beaten and bullied horrifically, they certainly aren't going to do anything about this I'm afraid. You've emailed, you've left a paper trail so if anything else happens they have a record as do you. But it won't go any further now. Anything more from them is just to shut you up. Sorry to say

I mentioned James Bulger, it was the fact that they’ve planned, targeted and executed taking a child away from safety, and goodness knows what they could or would do. thankfully the TA was awake and saw what was going on.
It’s about children planning to take another child

By pretending that you don't know how people could have possibly made the comparison between a child being lured away and killed, and this child being lured away for unknown reasons.

Perhaps you weren't being disingenuous and if so, fair enough, though I struggle to believe you really couldn't see how someone might have had Jamie pop into their heads given the very particular circumstances.

I suggest you read the post above where a poster shared something similar happening here to a poor young girl closer in age to OP's DD.

Thank you so much.

Insist on a meeting, they are trying to fob you off. Your concern is about how they are going to keep your child safe not whether they have "spoken" to the girls concerned. If they don't confirm a meeting by tomorrow then email the head and the Governors.

The please report the TA. They weren't with their 1:1 (as they were out of class and then went off to escort your DD to the office - had they informed the teacher they were going? What if their own 1:1 had needed support at that time and they were off elsewhere).
The language they used with a child was inappropriate (calling the girl a little shit).
Also I don't think they should be disclosing information about relationships to another child, especially under these circumstances.

While I understand you are grateful for this TA it sounds like they need further training and that this whole incident should have been recorded by them (in which case the form tutor would have been able to see the log for to know to perhaps say to you that safeguarding are aware).

@Newnamez it's good that you feel DD's teacher likes her but I would caution against believing that you're not being fobbed off.

As is evidenced even on this thread, teachers and schools can't and won't always care about your "precious sprogs". As nice as they might be to your DD is doesn't mean that they will truly work to get to the bottom of this.

If they can get rid of you with a vague "the girls were spoken to" they absolutely will.

It's very odd, if they were up to no good how could they hope to get away with it? The class teacher would know them and if anything bad had happened they would be incriminated straight away. It is scary though and I would want to get to the bottom of it. The TA using that language to, and about a child is also very odd.