Incident at school - come and give me your thoughts.

[Newnamez]

DD is 12 and in yr7 (first yr of secondary).
On the last day of term before Easter she came home and told us that during the first lesson that day 2 'older girls' (she thinks yr9) came to the class (which had a stand in teacher that day) and asked for her by name and said she was needed at the school office by the Head teacher. She went with them. The girls walked ahead of her whispering.
By chance a TA that DD likes and chats to came out of a room and saw the three of them and asked the girls where they were taking DD. The older girls said 'the office' and the TA said i'll take over and they ran away. The TA shared with DD that one of the girls is her (TAs) cousin and said she was a ''little shit'' !! TA took DD to the office and no one had sent for her. TA took DD back to class. That's the bare bones of it. That is literally all i know.

Now, i hear about this at 6 that evening from DD and get more horrified the more i think about it. I emailed a head of year level teacher that evening. I heard nothing all easter holiday which is fine, but i heard nothing from anyone last night either. (yesterday 1st day back)

Ive told DD not to leave class unless an adult has come for her from now on.

Im going to ring the school this morning to ask to speak to someone in person about this.

Am i wrong or is this quite worrying?! How did the girls know my DD s name and where she'd be? Where were they taking her? Why were they wandering round the school? How are they going to stop this happening again?

What would you do/say?

TIA

Incidentally, i find the comparison of 13/14 year olds pranking a 12 year old within the confines of a school building, with the the torture and murder of a 2 year old, pretty disrespectful.

You have no idea if it was a harmless prank or something more unpleasant.

Incidentally, that isn't really what is happening.

People are not comparing the murder to what has happened. They are comparing the initial event of leading someone, who believes they are safe, into a situation which isn't.

There are no comparisons of torture and murder and it's actually more disrespectful in my mind to suggest there are.

@Newnamez

You've had loads of replies so you may not see this. I'm a retired secondary school teacher. When I was at school, if kids truanted, they'd be miles away from school. It's different now: when kids truant, they stay in the building, run around the corridors, and cause havoc. So that may explain why these girls were out of class.

If I were you I'd be fcking livid. If these girls can't do as they're told whilst in the building, they shouldn't be in the building. Tell the headteacher this is a serious safeguarding concern. Ensure you get a follow-up and have a plan to escalate it if you're not happy - like to the governors or something.

Surely the TA that discovered these girls escorting your daughter to the office that was a fictional story,reported this matter immediately and took it further told the head and the 2 girls were hauled in before the head to explain wtf they were doing

Are you one of the mothers of these girls involved? You sounds somewhat lacking if you aren't.

You will feel how you feel, but there's a difference between comparison in the sense of saying they're the same thing - which I don't think anyone here is doing - and bringing up that case because elements of this has stirred memories of that, which is what I think is going on for a few people here. I don't think it takes much understanding to realise there's no disrespect for any victims.

I had a similar experience at high school. The girl who'd been bullying me (because her sister bullied my sister 🤷🏻‍♀️) took me from a classroom.
We weren't stopped.
The fear, I can still feel it now, waiting to see what was going to happen.

I hope you get it resolved ASAP 🤞

This ^

Why did the stand in teacher allow this?

Even if not a regular teacher they should(?) have known that this was very unlikely?

I'd complain about the teacher

I am still reading. Thank you for your insight. Just sat down and caught up. I'm reading everything 👍🌸

Clawsandeffect - great key words thank you.

Thank you every single one of you who are posting.

A poster said the weirdest thing is that they knew her name but she did t know them from Adam! I agree. She wasnt even 100% sure that they were yr 9s. She said yr9 or 10.

It's always the what if's which keep you awake at night isn't it? Because you can't put them to rest. Previous poster is right though. Concentrate on the issue of what's going to stop what did happen from happening again.

I meant to say earlier, when a poster was asking if DD is ok, that she said she was mainly relieved that it wasn't true that the head teacher wanted her 😅 A strange take on it but at least she's not fearful of going back ....

Because it's a common way to get students to go and see teachers, getting another student to go and get them. It's done all the time, and the teacher would have had no reason to doubt that.

DH says he remembers being a 'runner' for the afternoon at secondary. Sending messages to classes and fetching pupils ect

I don't think it was a thing at my secondary.

It was a thing at my school. All year 7s had to do a morning, and most of us an afternoon, helping in the school office.

I think it's bizarre because it just takes away from lesson time and I don't think it had any benefit for me. I only remember photocopying and writing down the names of people who were going home early/ arriving late or who had been sent to the headteacher.

I think this goes way beyond a busy body mother, this issue is extremely worrying and serious, I'd be demanding to see the headmaster. Iam sure you'd be very concerned if it was your child

What a stupid comment

I’m surprised too that the stand-in teacher allowed the two older girls to take your DD out of her class without any form of authorisation to do so, and apparently no questions asked.

Teachers know what children can get up to these days. This experience should be flagged up as a safeguarding issue.

Just to add to the voices that would be really very concerned about this. I would definitely want a face to face meeting - I hope the school takes your request seriously and you get to talk to them in person soon.

Sorry to tell you this. Its a long journey.
I know someone who complained several times to form teacher. A couple of times to head of year. Once to assistant head. Once to pastoral manager - or some such stupid title.
Not once we're the complaints taken seriously. Shoulders shrugged. Brushed off.
Although the parent requested several times to meet the headteacher, they were not allowed. A school of 600. Head was too busy. She was never seen by the kids. She had umpteen assistants and deputies.
It wasn't safeguarding as such. It was bullying and class disruption. Though one incident involved a kid hitting another kid on the head with a computer chair. Another incident involved a kid slicing another kids hand open with a metal pokemon card. Hospital visit and stitches required. Shoulders shrugged by school.
The parent was about to escalate to board of governors or local education authority.
They moved schools instead.
You need to escalate, escalate, escalate. Don't take the runaround. Dont take the brush off. Go to governors ASAP.
Of course, there will be no consequences for the year 9 girls. There never is.

God that’s awful …. Can I ask if you were stopped and helped?

When I was at school, if kids truanted, they'd be miles away from school. It's different now: when kids truant, they stay in the building, run around the corridors, and cause havoc. So that may explain why these girls were out of class.

DD2 said the same - they'd hang out in upstairs stair wells and hope not to get caught - not her some of her friends - they'd also often miss partiuclar lesson not whole day as register was taken each lesson. Attendance issues were huge issue at her secondary. It wa sharder to get off site - though not impossible - and hard to get kids out for legitimate reasons as a parent.

Next time - I'd email head form tutor and head of year - or e-mail one and CC in the rest tends to get faster replies.

I expect the form tuutor feels she has sorted the issue by relaying that the girls were spoken to and reassure you - but not sure I'd be satisifed.

It's not uncommon for pupils to be sent to classes to get others - so not surpised a substituteteacher went alone with it - though more normal for DC secondary to phone down to classrooms or send an adult staff member.

I don't think those girls were going to take her to the office at all. Thank god for that TA - and actually your daughter is very lucky she gave her a warning about the girls being trouble.

I would want to check that your daughter isn't on the same bus home as those girls - I'm sure she isn't, but I'd want that confirmed.

Yes it is worrying. Where were they taking her, what were they doing and why did they have her name.

I’d expect this to be looked into and an explanation.

Luckily the TA was there so an adult who can evidence what had happened.

Yes they do sound like little shits.

Addressing points:
I said in 1st email to form teacher that i'd be wanting a meeting with someone face to face.

I have no problem with escalating and i def will if it becomes necessary. I read a good piece of advice on here years ago which said that when you are complaining about something keep in mind what you want to happen as a result of the complaint. If it's a simple apology then ask for it. If it's more complicated and you want things done then write it down and stick to it.

What i hate is when you finally get to speak to someone and they blind side you with waffle when you you were expecting a clear apology and to be asked what you wanted done.

Im ready for the later to happen. Maybe i'll be pleasantly surprised ? I will update this as we go along. So many times MN threads pop up when you google for help and you read and hope the OP posts the whole thing.

What happened in the end here? 💐 I felt ill reading this x

To find out more of what has been logged at school ask to see their CPOMS notes on your daughter. A freedom of information request as such. cPOMS is a system which should have been used to log this incident.

they may need to redact the girls names and that’s fine but the incident should be tagged to your daughters account.

if they continue to sweep it under the carpet, ask for their safeguarding policy (often available on the website and check it’s been followed) inform the you find their response unsatisfactory if they haven’t followed it, and that you will be informing Ofsted, the LEA and governors etc

Yes, it's a thing, but it's taking round messages, they have no authority to remove students from lessons.